


Co Workers [misha x reader]

by sparklingcas



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Death, F/M, Fluff, Misha/Reader - Freeform, Reader Insert, Smut, Violence, mental illness treament, misha x reader - Freeform, pregnancy loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 07:53:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 48,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10589676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklingcas/pseuds/sparklingcas
Summary: You’re an inexperienced actress living in LA with your boyfriend of five years, Andrew, when you land a roll on your favorite tv show, Supernatural. You pack up and move to Vancouver, leaving Andrew behind so he can finish college. But when you hit it off with your new co worker, Misha Collins, things get heated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first series that I ever wrote, so it's a big deal for me that I'm moving it over here! <3

You had moved out to Los Angeles with your boyfriend Andrew a couple of months ago to live with him while he went to college there. You weren’t in school, so you decided to give acting a go. You did a couple plays in high school, so you thought why not. You were currently in a weekly acting class, and you had even got a role in a couple of commercials. It wasn’t much, but you got paid a little bit to do it and it was fun.

One afternoon, while sitting at a Starbucks, the casting director from one of the commercials gave you a call. You thought maybe she was going to ask you do another commercial. Instead, she told you about how this producer from a tv show had reached out to her. Apparently, this producer said that they were going to be bringing a new character onto the show, and you had the look that they envisioned. You tried to tell the woman from the commercial that you really weren’t ready for something like that, that you had only been at this for a few weeks. She assured you that most beginners don’t even get commercials as quickly as you had; and with that she gave you the information to contact this producer.

It took you a couple of hours to work up the courage to call this producer. You actually had stayed at Starbucks just nervously playing with your phone and ordering enough coffee to keep you awake for three days. When you finally called him, you were relieved to find out that he was very eager to talk to you. He asked you if you’d be able to swing buy their LA office tomorrow for an audition. He sounded excited when you told him that’d you’d be there.

* * *

You were practically shaking from how nervous you were about the audition. This is ridiculous, you thought. You didn’t even know what the name of the show was, sure you probably could’ve googled the producer, but what if you went in there knowing what you were getting into, and they got mad because you already knew or something silly like that? As you were waiting you couldn’t shake the thought that this could potentially be a really big deal for you.

The audition came and went, the people that were at the office were really nice, they knew how much experience you had with acting -or lack thereof-. Somehow, you ended up nailing it, and before you knew it you were signing the papers to get this show on the road. As you were looking at the papers, you noticed they didn’t have the name of the show. Only the location of where it was filmed.

“Wait,” You said, “What show is this? These papers say it films in Vancouver? Like the Vancouver in Canada?”

“Yes,” the woman helping you out with paper work began, “It does film in Canada, have you heard of Supernatural?”

You practically fell out of your seat. Supernatural. Your favorite tv show.

“Supernatural? like, Sam and Dean Winchester Supernatural?”

“That’s the one, is there a problem miss Y/N?” She raised and eyebrow at you.

“No no, I just uhhh, I just..” You were searching for the right words.

“You’re a fan of the show?” She finished your broken sentence.

“Yeah, uh, that’s not a problem is it?”

“Not at all miss Y/N, you’re not the first fan to have a guest role on the show.” She reassured you. “Alright, so you’ll leave Friday morning. Welcome to the Supernatural family miss Y/N.”

She  handed you your plane ticket and your first script, then stood to shake your hand. You said your goodbyes and that was it. You only had one thing left to do.

* * *

You hadn’t seen Andrew since the day before yesterday. Sometimes with him being in class all day and then having to work, you went a day or two without seeing each other. Not to mention, you figured you wouldn’t get the role; and if you did, you figured the show was probably filmed right there in California, not Canada.

Andrew was great. You two had been together for five years, since your senior year of highschool. He was a little bit of a nerd, but you loved that about him. It was a huge reason why you were sure you wanted to marry him some day. Not to mention, he was your first everything. Your first boyfriend, your first kiss, and he was the guy you has lost your virginity to. In the past five years you two had gone through everything together, you were going to miss him.

At first Andrew thought you were joking. He knew that Supernatural was your favorite show, so he was convinced that it was just a prank; but then you showed him you plane ticket, and you flashed him the script that they gave you. You had to make sure he didn’t see any of it though, that was kind of like rule number one of being on a tv show.

“So, how long will you be gone?” He asked, there was a certain sadness in his voice. You two hadn’t really been apart for more than a few days at a time during the course of your relationship.

“Four weeks, they have me on for three episodes. But there’s a chance they’ll bring me back in the future if the fans like me.” You couldn’t help how excited you were, you would have fans! Even though you didn’t know how this would affect you and Andrew, something felt right about this decision.

You and Andrew decided to do the long distance thing, it was only a month after all.

* * *

Friday morning rolled around before you knew it you were in Vancouver, on your way to the hotel. When you got to the hotel you were glad that this trip was all expenses paid, because there was no way you could afford this otherwise. You were checked in, in no time. You didn’t start shooting until Monday, but you had to go to the set to get some more paper work done.

Sitting in the producer’s office almost felt like sitting in a principal’s office. You felt like you were in trouble even though he was thrilled to meet you. He told you about how he stumbled across your commercial, and when you two really got into talking about your character you started to see why he was so eager to cast you. You brought up that you didn’t have much experience but he assured you that everyone on set would be more than helpful. “Every actor starts somewhere.” he said. You would remember that. Your meeting was interrupted by a knock on the door, and you turned around to see Misha standing there.

“Hey, you gotta get out here man, Ruth got Jared good.” He was laughing as he was talking.

“Misha, I’m glad you stopped in, this is Y/N. She’s going to be playing Blair.”

“Well, hello there Y/N,” He held his hand out to shake yours. “Why don’t you come out and see what goes on here, besides acting?”

You looked to the producer and he nodded a motioned for you to go. Just seconds later you were walking with Misha Collins. _Misha Collins_. And he was bringing you out to see what _Ruth Connell_ did to _Jared Padalecki_. You’re head was quite obviously spinning.

“So, you’re a fan of the show I take it.” Misha said

“I- uh..well, sure, I guess.” _Stupid stupid stupid_ you thought. Why did you always freeze up like that.

“It’s okay, I can assure you that you’re not the first fan to be on the show, at least you’re not screaming. You know Kathryn Newton? She screamed.” You laughed at his response. Still trying not to talk if you didn’t have to. You could not make an idiot of yourself in front of these people that you had looked up to for so long. Even though now they were your co workers. For a few weeks anyway.

* * *

For the rest of the afternoon you just hung around on set, asked for advice on some things, like how to “fake fight” or what certain words meant. Misha even showed you how to lock up your social media accounts so that all your info would be safe when you started gaining followers.

You were so ready to get started on this show. By the end of the day you were worn out. You just wanted to get back you your hotel, read your script and go to bed. You were still in shock when you got back. Your dream job -that you didn’t even know was your dream job- literally just fell into your lap. You also didn’t want to jinx things by saying something, but you were pretty sure that they’d have you back after your three episodes.

You went to sleep so that you could start getting good and rested for Monday, you were going to just relax and read your script all weekend. This was the best thing to ever happen to you.


	2. Co Workers (Part Two) [Misha x Reader]

The few weeks that you had spent on set were the best weeks of your life. You had been back home with Andrew for a couple of weeks. It was almost Christmas time. You had been hoping and praying since you got home that you would get to go back on the show. You loved everything about it. Besides the fact that you were a _guest star_ on your favorite tv show, you loved Vancouver, it was a wonderful city. You also loved everyone that you had the pleasure of working with while filming, especially Misha. You and Misha became friends quickly. He was kind, and helped you a lot with your acting skills, he even helped you practice scenes that you were unsure of.

The mid-season finale was tonight, and you were excited to watch it, yet slightly nervous. Your character, Blair, kissed Castiel in this episode, and you hadn’t warned Andrew. He had been seemingly standoffish since you got home, you didn’t really understand why, but it wasn’t like you to push the issue, you thought maybe the fact that you were gone for a month was a little bit hard on him, he had more of a dependant personality than you did.

Just before Andrew was due to be home from work, you got the phone call you had been longing for. The producers wanted you to come back. Not only did they want you to come back, they wanted you to sign a contract with them. You would be living in Canada during filming season. Without a second thought you said yes. You thought of course that Andrew would come with you. He would love it in Vancouver and he could finish his schooling there as well.

You ordered pizza for dinner, and Andrew got home right after the pizza arrived. You had a few minutes before the show started, so you decided to tell Andrew the good news. You both got settled on the couch with your food and some wine.

“So,” you began, turning to Andrew. “The producers from the show called me today,”

“And?” Andrew answered

“They want me to come back.”  
  


“For how many episodes?” He sounded slightly annoyed.

“They uh, they actually want me to sign a contract with them, which means they want to keep me.” You couldn’t contain the excitement in your voice. This was everything you never knew you wanted.

“I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t go back.” This came as a slight shock to you. You noticing that Andrew was slightly distant, but you really didn’t think he would have a problem with you going back, considering he would be able to come with you.

“I never agreed to that babe, I said I wouldn’t go back without you, and with a contract, you’d be able to move up there with me, finish school there, even.” He just looked at you, almost as if you had just broken his heart. You didn’t know why, your relationship was and always had been stronger than this.

“Look, Y/N, I love you. I always have. But I want to finish school here in LA.”

“What’s the big deal about finishing school here? I’ve heard that they have good schools there too”

“No, I-it’s not just that Y/N.”

“Well then what is it?”

“I don’t know, it’s just too far away from home I guess.” He sounded unsure of himself.

“You know we could come home whenever we want. It’s not like we wouldn’t have the money, the show pays well..” You were trying to make your case as best as you could, but you could sense that this wasn’t going to have the outcome that you wanted.

“Can you turn down the contract?” He seemed confident in asking you this. Like he had been practicing it if it were to happen.

“Andrew I…I already said yes. I’m going.”

He just looked at you and shook his head. As if he were disappointed.  

You mumbled a, ‘whatever’ and turned the tv, THE argument causing you to miss the first couple of minutes of the show, which meant the first thing you saw was the kiss that you had been so nervous about Andrew seeing. Honestly, you shouldn’t have been nervous. It was just acting.

“Is this why you want to go back so bad? Finally get to make out with your celebrity crush?” Andrew snapped.

“Seriously? You do know that it’s just acting right?”

“Yeah, I get it.” What? You thought. He really wasn’t making much sense. As you just sat there sort of dumbfounded, he got up and went to your guys’ bedroom. You heard the door lock. This was not your Andrew. You didn’t even want to try to talk to him. So you decided to just enjoy the rest of your wine, and watch the show that you were incredibly proud of.

When the show was over you just decided to shut the tv off and lay on the couch so that you could enjoy your buzz. You finishing off the last of your wine when your phone dinged. You got a text from Misha.

Misha: _You did a great job on that tonight’s episode. I hope you get to come back!_

Y/N: _Thanks Mish, I think I’m pretty sure I’ll be coming back tho :)_

Misha: _What makes you say that?_

Y/N: _I got a call today offering me a contract._

Misha: _That’s awesome! I wonder what this means for Cas and Blair ;)_

That last text was a bit of a surprise. That was definitely a flirty text. He had a girlfriend. Either way, you were buzzed and not on good terms with Andrew, and a little flirting never hurt anyone. Besides, you were both in relationships. Where could it possibly go?

Y/N: _I hope it means something good :)_

Maybe that wasn’t the best response, but hey, you were pretty buzzed.

Misha: _What kind of good?_

Y/N: _I’m not sure lol_

You just laid there as you waited for him to text you back. You then made the decision to go back to Vancouver in the morning. You didn’t care if you didn’t need to be back on set for a few weeks. You could just enjoy the city and find an apartment. If Andrew wasn’t willing to accept your decision to go back, then maybe the two of you should rethink your relationship.

You fell asleep before you got the chance to read Misha’s last text.

* * *

When you woke up the next morning Andrew had already left for his morning class. It was his last day of classes before Christmas. So you took this time to book a plane ticket and pack your bags. You took one last look around your small apartment. You left a note for Andrew explaining that being on the show was what made you happy, and that you weren’t leaving him. On the note you encouraged to him to call you later and told him that you loved him.

* * *

It was after the new year now, and you were settled into your new one bedroom apartment. Most of the cast was back in Vancouver now as well, and filming was beginning next week. You and Andrew had worked through what problems you had from before. You got to know as much of the city as you could, and were now working on filling your apartment with paintings, pictures of your family, candles, nic nacs, whatever you could find. It already felt like home.

It was early evening and you were getting ready to make dinner for yourself when you heard at at knock at the door. Which was weird, you hadn’t told anyone where you lived yet. You set down the hammer and nail you were using to hang one last painting before you cooked and opened the door.

“Hey Y/N, looks like we’re neighbors.”


	3. Chapter 3

Misha stood leaning on your door frame with his hands in his jean pockets. He was wearing a plain gray t-shirt, showing just how defined the muscles in his arms were. “Neighbors?” You questioned.

“Yep, my apartment’s right above yours, I saw you leave this morning.”

“Oh..um,” You hadn’t talked to Misha since the two of you were texting the night of the mid season finale.

“Y/N, I came down here to apologize for that last text I sent you a few weeks ago.” You looked up from Misha’s hands, you hadn’t realized you had been staring at them. You made eye contact with him as you pulled your phone out of your back pocket. You scrolled through you messages until you landed on Misha’s name. You opened the message to find one you hadn’t read, but it had been opened.

Misha: _I hope it means a little less clothing._

“Misha, I-uh, I never read this.” You were confused. How had you not seen this?

“It said you did, that’s why I figured you hadn’t answered,” he shifted his weight and ran a hand through his dark, scruffy hair, “truth is I was drinking when I was texting you. I know you have a boyfriend and I wanted to apologize.” You just nodded your head slowly as you stared at the message. Andrew must have went through your phone while you were sleeping. Your heart dropped at the thought of him thinking you were flirting with someone else. You knew it wasn’t right, you knew you shouldn’t have went along with it. But why didn’t Andrew say anything? Either way, you were actually happy that Misha decided to stop by.

“It’s..um it’s ok Mish; you wanna come in? I was just about to make dinner if you’re hungry.” You gave Misha a side hug and motioned him inside. You’d have to talk to Andrew later.

“Sure, and by all the banging around down here it sounds like you could use some help hanging things up.” He was wearing that breathtaking grin that he often had on as he looked around your apartment; you had caught yourself again when you realized you’d been staring into his eyes. They were soft, blue, and very easy to lose yourself in.

* * *

Misha hung up a few things for you as you cooked, your favorite thing being a picture of downtown LA that you took, it was the first time you had ever seen it. You and Misha were just talking about life. He really was your friend. A pretty good one too. Though you couldn’t fight the fact that for some reason you felt guilty about letting him in.

“So,” you began. Dinner was just about ready. “I have wine and I have wine.” you held up a bottle of pinot noir and a bottle of chardonnay. You liked your wine; and now that you had a good job you could afford to buy the fancy stuff.

“I’ll have what you’re having.” Misha said, leaning on your kitchen island. You thought about it for a minute and decided to put the bottle of chardonnay back into your fridge. As poured two glasses of the pinot you realized that if you both were single, this would very much look like a date. You handed Misha his glass, his hand brushing against yours as you passed it off. You quickly turned, taking a big gulp from your glass.

“So what’s your girlfriend’s name?” You asked him, trying to bring the both of you back to reality, which you both seemingly forgot about.

He took a deep breath as you turned to set a couple of plates on the island. Normally, any guy would be happy to talk about his girlfriend, but Misha seemed, more or less disappointed to talk about her. “Her name’s Renee.”

You took another sip from your glass and starting dishing food out onto the plates. “Does she stay here in Vancouver with you?” You side eyed him to see his reaction.

You could barely get your question out before Misha spat out, “No, hey, let’s not worry about her ok?” He sounded annoyed and sad at the same time.

“Ok, sorry..” _That was weird_ , you thought. The two of you sat down next to each other to eat. After a couple of minutes both of you were talking with ease again, avoiding the subject of significant others, and before long you were opening that bottle of chardonnay you had in the fridge.

You and Misha were both feeling the wine working it’s magic about half way through the second bottle when Misha finally spoke up about his girlfriend, “Renee is,” He sighed, “she’s very controlling. She wants things her way, all the time. When I’m not here in Vancouver, she doesn’t really want me doing anything besides be with her.”

  
It was obvious his feelings for her were lacking. There was definitely more to that story, and you were determined to find out what. He seemed to have a certain trust in you weren’t the kind of person to deny someone friendship. You opened your mouth to answer him when your phone rang. It was Andrew. “Sorry, I should take this.” He nodded and you got up from the stool that was right next to his and went into your bedroom.

“Hey baby”, you answered.

“Hey drunk girl.” He always knew when you were drinking, somehow.

“I’m not drunk, I’ve only had 3 glasses of wine.”

“Yeah, you and I both know how full you fill your glasses,” he teased. “So how was your day?”

You didn’t realize until he asked that it was almost eleven. “It’s been good, babe. Hey, I-um, I just realized what time it is. I have to be on set tomorrow.” That was a lie, you didn’t need to be back until next week.

“Ok, Y/N, take some aspirin and get some sleep.”

“I will, bye Andrew.”  
  


He was so sweet to you. What exactly were you doing? You shook your head. “We’re just friends, I shouldn’t feel guilty.” You heard a small knock on your bedroom door as it pushed open slightly.

“Are you talking to yourself in there?” Misha opened up the door the rest of the way and smiled at you. Now you were both in your bedroom. Alone. You stepped forward and slid passed Misha, “So what if I was talking to myself?” You asked. _Shit. That was definitely flirty_ , you thought.

“Then I’d say that’s pretty cute.” Misha said as you both walked back towards the kitchen, you could feel yourself blushing. _Friends, Y/N. Friends._ You didn’t really know what to say, the alcohol was definitely keeping you from thinking clearly, and it was starting to cause Misha to over share. He stopped in your living room and turned to you.

“Ok, Y/N. I think I’ve overstayed my welcome for the night. How about I make it up to you tomorrow and cook for you?” You were standing just a couple of feet in front of Misha, hands in your back pockets. Without thinking you bit your bottom lip while trying to figure out how to say yes without it sounding like a date. You looked up at him realizing that he was looking at you as if it was you he wanted to have for dinner tomorrow. You decided to speak up before something happened.

“Sure Misha,” was all you could get out. You really had no idea what you were doing. You stood there for a minute before realizing that Misha was inching closer to you. You mumbled a ‘what the hell’ and practically threw yourself at him, crashing your lips into his, he was quick to respond by moving his hands to your waist, slowly sliding them to the small of your back. Your hands responded by moving up to the back of his neck and into his hair.

Your lips moved in sync with each other for several minutes, neither of you coming up for air. Somehow the two of you seemed to pull each other even closer as his hands moved down to your ass and lifted you up; you quickly wrapped your legs around his waist. You could feel his hard on through both your pants, the more friction it cause the more you wanted. He backed you up against the wall next to your door and pushed his arousal into you, your lips finally breaking from his as your head fell back, a small moan escaping your mouth. Andrew never made you feel like this.

_Wait, Andrew._

You suddenly jumped down and out of Misha’s embrace and pushed him away. You couldn’t make eye contact with him

“Misha,” You began, your voice was low, almost a whisper, but he cut you off.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Shit, I’m really sorry.” He quickly turned to leave. Once you apartment door closed you just slid down the wall and sat on the floor, staring at nothing.

_What the hell did I just do?_

You pulled out your phone in hopes of getting your mind off of what just happened, when you noticed a text from Andrew.

Andrew: _I know you’ve already went to bed but I just wanted to let you know that I love you, Y/N. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know I’ve been having a hard time with you moving so far away but I wanted you to know that the only thing that matters is that your happy. I booked a plane ticket to come see you next weekend. I’ll talk to you tomorrow beautiful._

“FUCK!” You yelled. Hitting your head on the wall behind you. You didn’t care if any of your neighbors heard you. You had to figure out what to do.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel slammed Blair against the brick wall, holding his angel blade against her neck. She was a witch, and had failed to tell Sam and Dean.

“Go ahead. Kill me” She spat out. Castiel nervously pushed the blade against her neck harder, almost breaking the skin, but that was all he could do.

“That’s what I thought.” She choked out, Castiel was blocking her airway. He removed the angel blade and backed away, he couldn’t kill her. He loved her, and she knew it.

“I was on your side you know.” Blair looked at Cas, “I was on your side, and you think since I’m a witch that I’m as good as any other monster out there.”

“You deceived me.” Castiel was visibly hurt. He didn’t know what to say. Blair stepped towards him.

“I simply left out one little detail about myself, I’m still the same person, Castiel.” Cas couldn’t take it any longer, he closed the small distance between them and crashed his lips into Blair’s.

_“CUT!”_ The director yelled. That was the last scene of the day. You were all tired, and ready to go home. Tomorrow was Friday, which meant there was only one whole day left before Andrew would be there to visit. You still hadn’t told him about that night.

You said your goodbyes to everyone and made your way to your trailer to wash up and change. You were really fitting in on set. Besides the fact that you had been avoiding Misha, everything was going great. Except for tomorrow, you knew would be challenging. You were going to be filming your first sex scene; and you were terrified; but if you were being honest with yourself, you were more nervous about the fact that the scene was with Misha than anything.

You splashed your face with cold water and excitedly got ready to go home. You loved this job but the hours were crazy.

* * *

The next day you got to set early, even though you didn’t start filming until a bit later in the day; you liked hanging out in your trailer. It was cozy, and you were able to focus perfectly on reading your script. You were sitting on the little recliner going over as many lines in your head as you could when your trailer door opened, it was Misha. Your heart sank a little. He knew you were avoiding him. He offered you a small smile and sat down on the chair across from you.

“We need to talk, Y/N.”

“No we don’t Misha.” You wanted to pretend like your little make out session with him never happened, and up until now, it was working pretty well for you. You opened your mouth to say something else when he butted in.

“I broke up with Renee.” He broke eye contact with you when he said it, resting his arms on his knees. You could tell he was hurt, and he had simply just come to you to talk. Before that night, you two were friends after all.

“I-I’m sorry, uh, why? Was it because of what happened..” Your voice shook as you began to mention what you were trying so hard to keep locked up.

“Yeah, well, part of it. I had told you she was kind of controlling.” He began nervously looking around. He wasn’t telling you something.

“What is it Misha?” You tried to sound sympathetic but it came out in more of a demanding tone.

“Nothing, Y/N, it was just was long overdue.” He looked up at you, he was sincere. Maybe your judgement was just off. “So, did you tell your boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Don’t you think you should?”

“Probably. But it’ll just hurt him.” You realized that you hadn’t taken into consideration how this made you feel. You felt guilty of course, but for some reason you just weren’t hurt.

“What about you?” He looked at you again.

“I’m fine.” You looked back down at your script. You shouldn’t have said that. You were also starting to feel nervous.

“You mean you don’t feel bad?”

You sighed. “Of course I feel bad. I just..I don’t know”

“Y/N, look at me” You did what he said, you looked at him. This time when the two of you made eye contact there was something there. More than just eye contact, more than just friendship.

“What Misha?” Your voice was softer this time. The reason you hadn’t told Andrew yet was because you didn’t want to stop whatever feelings you were having for Misha; you just didn’t want to admit it. You knew as you looked at him, that you were taking a step out onto some extremely thin ice.

“Hear me out,” he sat up straight, his eyes never leaving yours. “You _could_ be with me if you wanted. Your boyfriend’s not here, Supernatural films for most of the year anyway and…” You interrupted him as you tried to shake yourself from this trance.

“I can’t leave Andrew, we’ve been together for five years, he was my…” you were unsure of if you should continue. You took a deep breath and said it anyway. “He was my first everything, like, everything.”

Misha just looked at you. He didn’t say anything. He got up and leaned over your chair, putting his arms on either side of you, his face just inches from yours. You hadn’t seen this side of him before; but you weren’t exactly complaining.

“Is that all that’s got you hung up on him? A few years and your virginity?” His voice was low, close to his Castiel voice. Your breath hitched and your heart felt like it was going to pump out of your chest.

“N-no, I l-love him.” You heart felt like it was beating even faster, if that was possible.

“Do you?” Misha’s voice was challenging, he looked at your lips and back up at you before he leaned in and kissed you. His lips were soft; and they fit perfectly with yours. You noticed the warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach that you had with Misha, you certainly did not feel that with Andrew. After only a few seconds, Misha ended the kiss. Staying close to your face like he was before.

“I think if you loved him, that kiss wouldn’t have felt like _that_.” He didn’t wait for a response before he kissed you again, this time harder. You sat your script down on the table next to you and brought your hands to his face. You didn’t care this time. Andrew didn’t make you feel like this, and Misha did. You stood up and let him sit down in your recliner, so that you could straddle him; your lips never parting. He wrapped his arms all the way around your back, pulling you closer.

You broke off the kiss and just looked at him. His eyes were so beautiful. You could never get tired of them. Your heart was beginning to ache as you began to realize that you wanted to be with Misha, not Andrew.

“It’s okay, Y/N.” He whispered as he moved one of his hands to your thigh, the other he brought to your face. The instant his hand landed on your cheek, tears welled up in your eyes, spilling over quickly. You let out a sob and you fell into Misha, your head resting in the crook of his neck, his arms wrapping around you once more. This was too much, you didn’t even know how you were supposed to break up with Andrew, you didn’t know what to tell him.

* * *

You both sat like that for awhile, even after you stopped crying. Misha brought a hand to the back of your head and ran his fingers through your hair as he broke the silence.

“Y/N, there’s one more thing.”

“Hmm?” You didn’t want to move, but you sat up anyway and looked at him.

“Our scene today, do you need help? Having to redo sex scenes can get…tiring.” He really did want to help you, sometimes you forgot that you were still pretty new to acting, and that you still needed help with a lot.

“I um-are you suggesting we, practice?”

“Well, yeah, it doesn’t get as intimate as it may seem. We can just do like a run through if you want.” He sounded kind of nervous, like he didn’t want to push you to do something you didn’t want to do. Reminding you of the sweet Misha that you met before Christmas, who showed you around set and introduced you to everyone.

“Ok, what do we do?”

He helped you off of him and grabbed the script you had sat on the table and flipped to the right page, he got up and sat on the small couch in your trailer so that there was more room.

“I’m guessing you’ve read it a few times already..”

You nodded. You wend to stand in front of him and you slowly brought your right leg up to rest on one side of him. You placed your left hand on his shoulder as he slid a hand up your left leg. Just as the script was written, and you said the first line, “An angel and a witch, what a tragic love story..” Misha pulled your left leg up to rest on the other side of him so that you were now straddling him.

“It’s not tragic if you love me, also.” He said in his Castiel voice. You couldn’t deny that you loved that voice, it was deep and rough, and it did things to you that you’d never admit.

“Y/N,” Misha interrupted your train of thought, “If this is too much for you, we can stop.” You just looked at him, you’re thoughts a haze as you promptly said, “That’s just it Misha…” you started to unbutton his shirt, “It’s not enough.”

You looked down at him, he seemed almost in shock at your sudden confidence. He then quickly grabbed your hips and pulled you into kiss him. You kissed him hard, you needed him. You more than needed him; and you didn’t care about anything else. Misha tugged at the back of your shirt and pulled it up, your lips only breaking from his for a moment so that he could pull it over your head, his hands going straight for your bra clasp. You finished unbuttoning his shirt and pushed it over his shoulders. _God he’s hot_ , you thought as he leaned up and started kissing your neck, his arms wrapped around you and up over your shoulders; one of his hands coming down to cup your breast. Small moans were escaping your mouth, making his arousal evident in his pants. You ground down on him to create friction. Your hand slid down between the two of you to fumble with his belt buckle, but he grabbed you and flipped you over, laying you down on the small couch; undoing the belt buckle for you. Before he could pull his pants down you reached down them and gripped onto his cock, stroking lightly, earning the sexiest groan you’d ever heard from him-or any man for that matter. He leaned down to kiss you again when you both heard a knock on your door. Panic quickly set in as you realized that the door wasn’t locked.  
  


“Y/N?” The voice on the other side was familiar, you and Misha were both frozen as the door began to open.

“Y/N, are you in the-” It was Andrew. He had opened the door and saw you, half naked, underneath Misha, your hand still down his pants.

“Andrew-” You quickly let go of Misha, and pushed him off of you, grabbing a throw blanket. Andrew just stared at you, baffled, and just shook his head.

“I guess I can’t say I’m surprised” he said -emotionless- as he turned and left. You stood up and wrapped the blanket around your top half, and ran out of your trailer, “Andrew wait!” You called after him, but he didn’t stop, and you weren’t about to run across the trailer lot with no shirt on.

Misha stepped out of the trailer, his pants were done back up, but the buckle was still undone and his shirt was still unbuttoned.

“Uh-nice you two..” You both turned to see Jared standing there. You threw your hand to your forehead and ran it down your face. You had just been caught cheating by your boyfriend and Jared freaking Padalecki witnessed it.

“We were um-rehearsing.” Misha piped up. You turned around and pushed passed Misha, slamming your trailer door and locking it.

_You were fucked._


	5. Chapter 5

You immediately grabbed your phone and texted Andrew.

Y/N: _Andrew, I can explain. I can’t leave work right now but please, let me explain._

You grabbed your bra and shirt, put them back on and made your way to hair and makeup. The whole way there you were hoping that no one else was in there. You just wanted to finish this awful day. The hair and makeup girls were happy to see you, you got along really well with them, they noticed the conflicted look on your face but didn’t ask you about it, which was just what you needed.

After you were done getting your face painted for filming, you made your way to wardrobe, got dressed, and bolted back to your trailer. You didn’t want to see anyone. You sat down in the recliner you were in earlier and went over your script again, the images of Misha laying over you and Andrew walking in, replaying in your head. When you’d read the script for what seemed like the thousandth time, you sat it down, and laid your head back on the chair.

You had cheated on your boyfriend of five years, and you felt awful. You didn’t know what came over you every time you were near Misha, it was obvious that telling yourself, that the two of you were just friends wasn’t working. He was constantly on your mind, even when you were talking to Andrew. You couldn’t have feelings for Misha, it wasn’t right, he was your co worker. Not to mention, things could get messy if you were to have a relationship with him and then it ended. _This is just physical, it’s just physical urges_ , you told yourself.

* * *

Filming was rough. You had to redo the sex scene at least four times. It was obvious that neither of you could focus. And Misha’s hard on just got harder every time you had to straddle him. You’d be lying if you said that it wasn’t also affecting you in a _not so work place friendly_ way.

When you finally got through the scene, you finished the rest of the filming you had with no fuck ups. You had to get home and talk to Andrew.You had no clue what to say to him, but you had to say something. When the day was finally over, it was already passed nine o’clock. You went to your car and drove home as fast as you possibly could, still dressed as Blair; wardrobe would surely scold you for in the morning, even though there’s at least fifteen other outfits that look exactly the same in the wardrobe trailer.

You called Andrew, he didn’t answer, so you left him a voicemail begging him to come to your apartment so that you could talk, as you poured yourself a glass of wine.

Twenty minutes later, you had changed into your sweatpants and tank top, and someone knocked on the door, you were relieved to see that it was Andrew. You opened the door and stepped to the side so that he could come in. You quietly shut the door behind him, avoiding eye contact as you opened your mouth to speak, only for him to speak first.

“I hope that it’s obvious we’re through.” He spat out. You’d never heard him so angry.

“Andrew, I-”

“How long.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“What you saw was the farthest it’s gone..” you spoke softly, your head hanging down. The weight of the guilt and shame you had been carrying around with you becoming too much for you to handle, but you knew that you deserved it.

“How many times?” He was beginning to control his temper a bit, or so it seemed.

“Just twice, once here and then back in my trailer.” Tears were falling freely down your face, when a sudden jolt made your head shoot up. Andrew had pinned you against the wall, hard, his arm across your the base of your neck, your own panic causing you to lose your breath. This was not a situation you thought you’d be finding yourself in today, especially not with Andrew.

“I love you, you know.” His voice was rough, violent. “I’ve loved you for almost, almost six years now. You were my everything, Y/N.”

You were begging him, trying to choke back sobs, “A-andrew please, please, l-let g-go. This i-isn’t you.” He took a look at what he was doing and backed away. You fell to the floor and your hands flew to your throat. There would be a bruise there later.

“We’re through, don’t ever contact me again.” He said as he left your apartment. You were left on the floor crying, your sobs loud enough for your neighbors to hear. You got up and began drinking as much wine as you could, thinking it would calm you down, make you numb. You looked up from your kitchen island and looked straight at that picture of downtown LA that you had on your wall. You marched over it, and flung it across your apartment, the picture frame smashing against a wall in your living room. As soon as you were through with your fist bottle of wine, you grabbed a second one, not caring that you could barely stand up as is. You opened the bottle and went to sit down on the floor in your living room. Taking chugs from the bottle as you picked up your phone and called Misha. He answered on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“This-is is all your fault” You slurred out.

“What? Y/N? Are you drunk? Where are you?”

“Don’t matter does-s it.” You don’t know why you called him, you weren’t thinking clearly.

“Are you at home? I’m on my way downstairs.” He sounded panicked but it didn’t register. He hung up but you were still holding the phone to your ear, as you were drinking down even more wine.

You apartment door opened and Misha rushed in, seeing you on the floor, seeing the smashed picture on the wall across the room. He seemed relieved that you were at home, but still worried. He rushed to you.

“Come on, let’s get you into a cold shower and then-” He stopped mid sentence as he spotted the bruise on your neck that had already began to form. Anger evident on his face. “Y/N, what happened.”

You looked up at him and smiled, “S’ jus’ a lil’ bruise. Not big deal.” When Misha went to grab onto your arm to help you up, you flinched in pain, Andrew must have had a hold on your arm too. Before Misha could get you completely up off of the floor, you leaned over and all of the wine you had drank within the last hour came back up all over Misha and the floor.

He sat you back down, slipped off his shoes and pants, leaving him in just his boxers and a t-shirt. “Why you gettin’ naked?” You slurred out

“So I can get you into the shower without tracking this puke all over the place baby girl.” He said calmly. He then put an arm under your knees, the other behind your back and lifted you up, making his way to your bathroom, he sat you down on the bathroom floor and lifted your chin up with his hand, “Bath or shower?” He asked.

You just lifted a flimsy arm and pointed at your shower head, you were starting to feel like you were sobering up a bit after puking, but you didn’t want to talk. You felt defeated.

Misha started the shower, feeling the water to make sure that it wasn’t ice cold, but not too hot either. He leaned back down next to you and helped you undress. You weren’t wearing a bra or panties since you were just in your night clothes. He helped you into the tub and you sat down, letting the shower stream wash over you.

“I’ll be right back, baby girl.” He kissed you on the forehead, not worried about getting wet, and he left. He came back a few minutes later in clean pyjamas, with clean pyjamas for you, a glass of water, and some aspirin. He shut the water off and grabbed a towel, you had managed to wash up some yourself. He helped you up and helped dry you off, you sat on the edge of your tub to get dressed. He handed you the pills and water, encouraging you to drink the whole glass. You were feeling a lot better now, and you just wanted to go to sleep.

Misha picked you up once more and carried you into your bedroom. He laid you down gently and covered you up.

“I’ll talk to you in the morning okay?” He said as he kissed your forehead and reached up to shut off the lamp on your nightstand.

“Misha,” You said, leaning up on one arm to look at him, “Stay.”  

He didn’t say anything as he went around to the other side of your bed and climbed in, you turned around and scooted towards him, his arm reaching out for you so that he could pull you in close. You rested your head on his chest and let the sound of his heartbeat lull you to sleep.

* * *

You woke up the next morning to an empty bed. You sat up and looked around, the aspirin from the night before completely worn off. You noticed a glass of water and two more aspirin sitting on your nightstand. You took them, and got out of bed. You noticed that your breath smelled like puke, and you remembered everything that happened last night.

Tears stung your eyes as you thought about what Andrew had done to you. You made your way to the bathroom and looked at your neck, there was a big purple bruise where his arm had pressed into you, along with a bruise on your arm where you hadn’t noticed he grabbed you. The bathroom door was slightly open, and you saw Misha push it open a bit more so that he could see you.

“I made you breakfast,” his voice was filled with concern, “why don’t you come eat, we can talk.” You nodded your head and let him guide you into your kitchen, the mess you had made last night cleaned up.

“You didn’t have to do all this, Mish.” He was really too sweet.

“I know, but I wanted to.” He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear and motioned for you to sit down.

Misha had made you homemade waffles, scrambled eggs, and bacon. As he poured you a cup of coffee he finally asked you what you’d hoped you could avoid.

“So, are you gonna tell me about those bruises?” he slid you the cup of coffee.

“I-uh, Andrew-um..” you couldn’t finished your sentence before you started sobbing. Misha walked over to you and held you as you sat in your chair.

“If that, that bastard,” his voice began to shake, “ever comes near you again, I’ll kill him.”

“It was my own fault Mish, I cheated on him.”

He pulled back and cupped your face in his hands to make you look at him; you leaned into his touch. You loved how gentle he was.

“Y/N, I want you to listen to me very carefully.” His voice was soft, but stern, “This, was not your fault. There is no excuse for absolutely anyone, to do that to you. No matter what you did.”

Tears were running down your face again. You hated how emotional everything was making  you. You hardly ever cried. Misha pulled you back in to hold you once more, your heart was aching, but at the same time you couldn’t explain how Misha made you feel. He brought his hand up to run his fingers through your hair, chills ran down your spine. It was almost as if a light bulb had went off your head, you pulled back and looked up at Misha.

“Misha, I-”

You were interrupted by the sound of Misha’s phone ringing, he ran his thumb across your cheek before he answered it. You turned to your plate of food, hunger taking over you all of a sudden; you realized you only ate once yesterday. You shoved some eggs in your mouth while you reached for the syrup while Misha talked on the phone.

“Well, apparently we missed our flight.” Misha said, you looked at him, confused. “The LA convention. It starts today.”

“I didn’t even know I was going to any of the conventions.” You said, your mouth still full of eggs.

“Y/N, of course you’re going. They’re a blast and you’re a part of the Supernatural family.” He said with a smile on his face.

You finished chewing and added in, “Yeah, and Andrew lives there, he probably flew back last night, or he probably will this morning.”

“Is there a chance he’ll be there?” Misha tensed up.

“I don’t know, he told me to never contact him again, so, I doubt it.” You said nervously.

“Well, I’ll be there, by your side the entire time.” He placed a hand on your back, “Finish eating and pack your bags. I’ll drive us to the airport.”

Misha made his way out of the apartment and left you alone with your food and your thoughts. You were worried that Andrew might show up and try something; but Misha was right. You were part of the Supernatural family after all. You knew that everyone else would be by your side as well, along with Misha.

You finished eating and went to pack your bags. This weekend was going to be an interesting one.


	6. Chapter 6

You and Misha arrived at the airport together an hour later, after rushing to pack and covering your bruises the best that you could. The drive there was silent. You were still trying to process everything that happened last night, and also your feelings for Misha. Were you two going to be together now? Was it even a good idea?

The two of you walked through the airport quickly, checked your bags, and got through everything you needed to get through. The part of the airport you were in was seemingly empty, probably because everyone that needed to fly to LA had done so on the earlier flight that you and Misha had missed. There was almost an hour still before you needed to board, so you both took a seat in a corner by your terminal. You were scrolling through your twitter, answering tweets and saying how excited you were for this weekend, and you were, even though you were still hurting. You were nose deep in your phone when Misha spoke up.

“So,” he cleared his throat, “what were you trying to tell me back at your apartment?” He looked at you, curiously. You had almost forgotten. You were going to tell Misha that you loved him. You looked back down at your phone. _This isn’t the time,_ you thought. _This isn’t the place._ You weren’t even one hundred percent sure if it was true or if it was just from how emotional you were. You made eye contact with him once again before speaking.

“Oh, I-uh,” You trailed off, searching for something to say. “I was, I was going to tell you that I really appreciated all that you had done for me last night and-and this morning.” Good one, you told yourself.

Misha smiled at you, your heart to skipping a beat. “You’re a bad liar.” He leaned into you, his face just inches from yours, his breath on your lips making your mouth water. Your eyes darted to the side to make sure no one was watching, “We’ll talk about it later baby girl, okay?” he said softly. You nodded, and your eyes looked down at his lips. Misha’s eyes never leaving yours, he smirked. He knew you wanted to kiss him. His eyes glanced down at your lips as he leaned in even closer. You felt his hand on your knee and your eyes closed. Just as his lips brushed yours he pulled back. Your eyes opened and you felt your face turn red. Misha was already looking down at his phone with a smirk on his face. He was going to be the death of you.

“What was that all about?” You demanded.

He looked up at you and opened his mouth to say something when it was announced that it was time to board your flight. He smirked again as he stood up and held his hand out to help you up.

“What are you planning?” You asked him.

“Oh, nothing.” He said as you both made your way onto the plane, it looked as though you two would be the only ones in first class. You and Misha made your way to your seats. You were still pretty new to first class so it took you a minute to get comfortable in the big seat which was big enough for two, maybe even three people. Once the flight was in the air and the flight attendant left you alone, you looked over at Misha’s seat, which was a few feet away from yours. He looked at you as if he’d been waiting for you to finally look at him.

“Want someone to sit with?” he asked. You nodded, you didn’t like these big seats, and you wanted to sit next to him anyway.

“Pretty cool we’re the only ones in first class, huh?” You said as you scooted over to make room for him.

“I think so,” He said, taking a seat next to you, your thighs touching, “It just means that we can do this.” he quickly grabbed your face, brought it to his, and planted a kiss on your lips. You weren’t going to stop him this time, you didn’t have to worry about Andrew anymore. You grabbed onto the front of his shirt and pulled him in closer. His tongue danced on your bottom lip until you let him in, you moaned quietly into his mouth. Now that you were free you wanted to feel him all over you, you wanted to make him feel good. You realized where you were and pulled away. Misha looked at you, his eyes full of lust.

“You know, there’s a bathroom on these things.” He suggested. You looked at him, your mouth dropping open a little in shock. Was he really suggesting what you thought he was suggesting? Either way, you wanted him. You were the only two people in first class, and so what if the flight attendant caught you? You got up out of your seat and stepped around Misha.

“I’ll meet you in there.” You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t use every ounce of confidence you had to say that. Misha gave you a look that told you he was more than willing to meet you in the bathroom.

“I’ll wait five minutes, make it seem like I’m checking on you, you know, just in case.” He winked and you made your way to the bathroom. It was small, you didn’t know how you were supposed to do this. The most adventurous you had ever gotten was in your shower. _The shower_ , you thought to yourself, _this will be kind of like doing it in a shower, a very tiny shower._ You bent over the small sink to splash your face with cold water. You didn’t know why you were nervous, you almost did this with Misha once, and it’s not like you were a virgin, even if you did only have one previous partner. Your train of thought was interrupted by Misha knocking on the door. You opened it up and stood there, just staring at him.

“You gonna let me in?” He asked, you nodded and stepped to the side, well, as far to the side as you could.

“Sorry, it’s small in here.”

“It’s okay Y/N, you’re cute, you know that?” You could feel yourself blushing. He was doing that to you a lot today. You responded by kissing him, he locked the door behind him and swung you around, pinning you against it. You ran your hands to his back and tugged at the bottom of his shirt, urging him to take it off, he did, you turned around to take yours off as well. His hands came around your waist and his arms wrapped tightly around you, your arms making their way to the back of his head, so you could grip onto his hair. He leaned in and placed soft kisses along your neck, working his way up to your ear, gently biting. The feeling of his hot breath on your ear sending chills through your body. You turned your head to face him and he crashed his lips to yours. His hands made their way to the front of your jeans, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping them. His lips left yours only for a moment to pull them down along with your panties. He helped you step out of them in the confined space of the airplane’s bathroom and you turned to unbuckle his pants, pulling them down just enough for his hard cock to spring free. He kissed you again as you gripped him tightly with your hand, pumping him a few times. He moaned into your mouth, trying to keep quiet. He grabbed onto your hips and the two of you worked around, so that you were now facing the door. Misha spun you around once again, reaching over you to place the toilet seat down.

“Put your leg up there.” as you did what he said he ran his fingers down your back, stopping to grab your ass tightly and then running them through your drenched folds. You squirmed a bit at how good that felt. It had been nearly three months since you had done anything. Misha rubbed your wetness onto his cock and you felt his head come to your entrance. He pushed your back down a little more, you were hanging onto the wall for support. He slowly entered you as you both let out groans of relief.

“You okay?” he asked before moving. “I’m great,” you said breathlessly. You leaned back a bit so that your back was now to his chest, you looked up at him and he smiled. His eyes completely blown with lust. He wrapped his arms back around you before he began thrusting into you quickly. Your head started to fall forward but he moved his hand to cover your mouth before he started fucking you even harder. You wanted to scream. He felt so good inside of you. He was trying his hardest to keep quiet as well when he uncovered your mouth and moved his hand down to rub your clit. The pleasure too much for you to keep quiet. _“Mish-uhhh”_ you moaned out as you reached your climax. He thrusted even harder, causing your orgasm to rip through you as came to his own release, filling you up and coating your walls with his cum. When you were both done, he pulled. You both just stood there for a minute, trying to catch your breath before he handed you some toilet paper to clean up.

When you were both cleaned up and had somehow managed to get your clothes back on in the tiny room, you turned to him, he pulled you into a tight embrace, running his hand through your hair. He kissed the top of your head while you were tucked tightly in his arms.

“I love you, Y/N.” He whispered to you, “I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with someone so fast, it actually scared the hell out of me.” You pulled back. You were smiling, of all the things that had happened between you and Misha, between you and Andrew, what he just said made it all okay.

“I love you too.” He smiled, relieved that you loved him as well. He leaned down and kissed you softly.

“Let’s get back to our seat, or-seats. We should be landing soon.”

You both left the bathroom, looking around for anyone who might spot you. You were in the clear. You both returned to your seats.

* * *

You woke up to Misha shaking you awake, you must have fallen asleep for the remainder of the flight.

“Look alive sunshine, are you ready for your first convention?” You smiled excitedly. You always wanted to go to a Supernatural convention, but could never afford it. Now you were part of the cast, and this would only be the first convention of many.

“I am, do we have to do anything for the rest of the day?” It was almost seven, and all you could think about was going to bed.

“Well, you and I have a panel in about an hour and half.” Your face fell. A panel, onstage, in front of people.

“Wait-us? We have a panel together?”

“Yep. Come on.” He helped you up and you both made your way off the plane. You held hands the entire way to the terminal, not thinking about the fact that you really hadn’t defined what the two of you were doing. As you walked into the terminal, you pulled your hand away, he didn’t ask why, you figured he knew. But when you looked over at him, you had seen why he didn’t question you. You followed his gaze to see a blonde woman running at the two of you. He stood and stared at her, you were wondering why he seemed so horrified.

_“Miiiishaaaa!”_ The woman squealed. She ran straight up to Misha and threw her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his lips that he did not return. Oh hell no, you thought. He pushed her away, and looked at her, still horrified.

“Renee, what are you doing here?”


	7. Chapter 7

Misha sounded more than a little annoyed.

“Whatcha talkin bout silly?” _God her voice is annoying._

“We broke up.” Misha was gritting his teeth.

“Yeah, I thought you’d be over that by now.” She waved her hand at him like it was no big deal.

“No, Renee, I was serious this time, we talked about this, you were okay with it.” She just stared at him like he slapped her in the face. This girl was psychotic or something. No wonder he never wanted to talk about her. She started sobbing loudly, causing a scene.

“You-you don’t love me?” Misha rolled his eyes at her. He turned to you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I have to deal with this. I’ll grab our bags and meet you at the hotel.” You nodded, and turned to walk away.

As you made your way out of the airport, doubt flooded into your mind. Why did he have to deal with this on his own? Did he really break up with her? _Oh God_ , you thought. What if they were still together and he was just putting on an act to cover his ass? No, Misha wouldn’t do that. He’s way too nice of a person for that; but there did seem to be something off about Renee, you just didn’t know what. Maybe it was why he wouldn’t talk about her. Your heart was racing during your ride to the hotel.

When you arrived, you checked in, and found your way to the green room, saying hi to fans along the way. You wished that Misha was by your side for this, you really had no clue what you were doing. Your panel was in thirty minutes. When you found your way to the green room, you were greeted by Jared, who was sitting at a table by himself, he looked up when he heard you walk in.

“Hey, Y/N, I thought you were with Misha?”

“I was, he-uh, ran into someone at the airport.” you said nervously.

“Renee showed up didn’t she?” Jared didn’t sound surprised

“How do you know?” You asked, making eye contact with him.

“Renee is uh, why don’t you sit down.” He suggested.

“Jare,” you started, “What is it.” The concern in your voice was evident, you didn’t care, Jared walked by you when you were half naked and Misha’s shirt was undone, and he still didn’t judge you. It was okay if he knew what was going on between the two of you, regardless if you and Misha were ‘official’ or whatever.

“Okay, well, Renee’s been around for a few years, right? And Misha’s tried to break up with her, I don’t know maybe three or four times?”

“Why didn’t it stick?”

“She’s, um.” Jared took a breath, “She’s bipolar, and she..she refuses to get help.”

“So then why does Misha not just leave her?” Jared took in another breath.

“Well, he tried to break up with her for the first time about a year ago, during New Year’s, we were all gonna go out, and she decided she didn’t want to go.” He leaned back in his seat.

“And everything would have been fine, but she was trying to keep Misha from going out. Now Jensen and I didn’t know it at the time; but apparently she did this, like, all the time. When we weren’t filming, he couldn’t go anywhere without her.”

“So, what? Bipolar means she’s controlling?” You had heard about it before, but you really had never met anyone that was Bipolar so, this was all new to you.

“It’s not her fault, but she can’t really keep her emotions in tact without help, so yeah, she get’s kind of controlling.” You nodded, this still wasn’t enough for you to understand why Misha hadn’t left her.

“So, she freaked out, had a breakdown. We all tried to calm her, but Misha was so tired of it he just gave up, and said he didn’t wanna be with her anymore; and she responded by slapping him in the face, she scratched his eye up pretty bad.”

“And that’s why he won’t talk about it.” You said, you put your elbows up on the table, resting your head in your hands.

“Yeah, she was arrested and-”

“I think you’ve shared enough Jared.” You turned around to see that Misha had walked into the room.

“Mish, it’s okay-” You started, he cut you off.

“Y/N, we have a panel to get to.” You got up and followed Misha out of the room, you stopped him in the hallway.

“Misha, I tried asking you about her before an-” He cut you off by kissing you. It was a quick kiss, he just wanted you to stop talking. He pulled back, his eyes watering a bit. He brought his hand up to your face.

“I promise, we’ll talk about it later, but for now, I want to show the world my new _girlfriend_.”

You smiled at him. All of a sudden this mess of stuff didn’t matter anymore. You had an exciting weekend ahead of you, and you intended to enjoy all of it. You opened your mouth to say something but just as you were about to speak you heard Rich calling you and Misha up on stage. He smiled back at you, grabbed your hand and led you up onto the stage.

When you walked out, the audience instantly noticed the the two of you holding hands, their cheers and screams got even louder. Your heart was pumping so fast you felt like you might stop breathing. Then Misha leaned over and place a chaste kiss on your lips, somehow the cheers got even louder. _At least they don’t hate me for this_ , you thought.

“So it looks like we’ve got a new Supernatural couple!” Rich said. The audience quieted down after after a few more seconds and it was time for you and Misha to begin.

“Hey everyone!” He said, waving. You were standing there, still a little too nervous to talk, your hand still tightly wrapped around Misha’s.

“I think Y/N’s a little nervous, this is her first panel.” He smiled at you, and the audience reacted with _aww’s_ , and _we love you Y/N!_ ,  which seemed to help a bit, you were finally able to speak up.

“Hi guys, I-uh-” you trailed off, looking around, “I am not just nervous, I am terrified.” You finally let go of Misha’s hand and placed it on your hip. The audience laughed, all of them shouting words of encouragement.

* * *

The panel was moving along smoothly, no one had asked anything you couldn’t answer, so that was a plus. When it was time for the last question, the fan stepped up to the mic. You and Misha both saying _‘hi_ ’ at the same time.

“So, this question’s for Y/N,,” The fan began, you sat up straight in your seat, exaggerating your eagerness. “I was wondering how you and Misha started dating? Up until, w-well now, we all thought you were both in relationships.”

You froze. You didn’t know how you were supposed to answer that. There was no way you were going to tell this fan that you cheated on your boyfriend with Misha and he unsuccessfully broke up with his girlfriend, followed by the story of you two hooking up on the plane ride here. You looked over at Misha wide-eyed.

“We..we uh, made it official today actually.” You were careful with how you worded this. Luckily, Misha jumped into help.

“Both of our relationships ended a few weeks ago, and..well we couldn’t deny our feelings for each other, so, here we are.” He reached for your hand as he gave you a comforting smile.

The room filled with _awe’s_ and you were relieved that you were able to dodge that one. You and Misha would have to work on that story sometime. Before either of you got the chance to say something else, Rich and Rob came out on stage, music started playing and before you knew it you were waving goodbye to the crowd.

You and Misha stepped off stage and he pulled you into a kiss. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to be able to keep his hands off of you, like ever. You pulled back and looked into his eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” He smiled as he started to lead you towards your room.

When you got to your room, you went straight for the shower, you hadn’t really gotten to wash up much since the previous night, and you wanted to wash your makeup off so that you could look at the bruises Andrew had left you. This was really the first time you had been alone all day. You were tired from travelling, and you honestly just wanted to go to bed. When you got out of the shower you wiped the steam off of the mirror with a towel and you began to examine your bruises. They were a bit darker now, you ran your hand over the one on your neck, flinching slightly as you touched it. A few tears fell from your eyes as you let everything that had happened in the last two days come rushing back to you.

You got dressed and slowly made your way out of the bathroom, Misha already fast asleep in bed. You smiled, thinking about how you were lucky to have him. He was no doubt already your best friend before the two of you made it official, and now he was so much more. You were still sniffling and wiping tears away as you crawled into bed next to him. As you pulled the covers over you, Misha started to stir in his sleep until he found you, and pulled you into lay your head on his chest.

“We’ll talk tomorrow baby, promise.” He mumbled, his sleepy voice one of the most comforting voices you had every heard. “And don’t cry, everything’s going to be fine, I promise.”

You snuggled in even closer to him and fell asleep with his hand in your hair, while listening to his heartbeat.


	8. Chapter 8

You woke up early the next morning to the sun shining in your face. You rolled over to see that the bed was empty. You heard the shower running and saw that Misha had left the door open. You quietly undressed in the bedroom and snuck into the shower, Misha was rinsing his hair, so his eyes were closed. You wrapped your arms around him and let the warm water wash down over you.

“ _Mmm,_ get lonely in there?” He said, his voice still slightly groggy.

“I did.” He finished rinsing his hair, turned around with your arms still wrapped around his warm, wet body and leaned down to kiss you, you smiled and let out a small moan when his hand came down and slapped your ass, the wetness of his hand making the smack sound even louder. You felt his cock hardening against your stomach.

“Let’s finish this in the other room.” Misha reached down to turn the shower off before his lips were crashing back into yours. Neither of you worrying about drying off on your way to the bed.

You pushed him down and jumped onto his lap, straddling him. You leaned down to kiss him while rubbing your wet folds on his erection. He moaned into your mouth, and tried to grab your ass with both hands but you pulled back.

“Nope,” you started, taking his hands and bringing them above his head, “I’m in charge this time.”

He looked up at you with a smile, and you could swear he got even harder.

“Okay baby girl, what do you want me to do?”

You leaned back down to whisper in his ear, “You, just relax,” you started working your way down his neck, leaving a trail of bites and kisses, “and no touching.” You said to him firmly. You continued working your way down his body with your mouth, kissing his chest, your hands running down his torso to teasingly stroke his cock. The lower your mouth got, the more you could feel him struggling to keep his hands to himself. When you finally reached his throbbing erection, you licked up the underside of his shaft slowly, then you quickly took him in your mouth; but only for a second, causing his body to tremble slightly.

_“Y/N..”_ he groaned, you took that as a hint, and you brought your mouth to his head, lightly sucking on the tip, cupping his balls with your hand. The feeling of him squirming under you was making your core ache for him. You took him farther into your mouth slowly, making sure so suck every sweet writhe and tremble from him.

_“Y/N, please_ … let me touch you.” he begged you as you sucked harder. You mumbled a _mhmm_ while his cock was in your mouth, causing his hands to shoot down to your head, taking your hair in both of his hands. You bobbed your head up and down slowly, you wanted to see how much more he could take. His breathing was heavy as you slowly brought your mouth back to working on just his tip, one hand still cupping his balls and the other stroking him every so slightly.

_“Ughh, I-I can’t take it anymore baby”_ he struggled with his words, _“please,_ come back up here.” You listened, but not before you took his length into your mouth one last time, giving him one last hard suck, causing him to pull your hair so that you’d let go of him. He brought you face level with him, his breathing was heavy as you planted a wet kiss on his lips.

“It’s _my_ turn.” he said, low and seductively as he grabbed your hips and flipped you so that you were now laying on your back. He laid over you and looked up and down your naked body.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” You covered your face with your hands and he scooted closer to you, and pulled them away. “Don’t hide from me, you’re perfect.”

He crashed his lips into yours desperately, he needed you after you teased him like that. As he kissed you his hands began roaming your body. Kneading your breasts and gripping your hips tightly, he was touching you everywhere except for where you needed it the most. His lips left yours so that he could look at you as one of his hands made its way down to cup your soaking sex. He traced a single finger around your entrance before dipping it in quickly and removing his hand completely. He smiled at your reaction, you bit your bottom lip as you let out a frustrated moan, with a small please. Hoping the look you were giving him would be enough for him to stop teasing you. His head dipped down and began leaving open mouth kissed along your torso, stopping to latch onto your breast, swirling your hardened nipple around with his tongue.

_“Misha, please…”_ You begged. He looked up at you with a grin.

“Please what baby?”

“Please _fuck me.”_

He came back up and kissed you once again, you spread your legs for him so that he could get into position. He placed the head of his cock at your entrance, you bucked your hips up from the contact.

“ _Mmm_ , you really need it don’t you baby girl?” he asked, teasingly rubbing his head up and down along your folds.

_“Yes”_ you moaned.

He didn’t waste another second before he thrust into you hard. Both of you calling out from the pleasure. He began moving slowly, kissing you, enjoying the moment before he grabbed a pillow and placed it under your lower back. He sat up on his knees while still fully seated inside of you. He held your legs up and began slamming into you. The sound of his hips slapping against you filling the hotel room. You felt your orgasm fastly approaching with every thrust.

_“I want you to fill me up baby”_  You moaned, you moved a hand down to rub your clit, which sent you and Misha both over the edge.

_“Y/N..fuck.”_ You felt his cock twitch inside you as he coated your walls with his cum, your own orgasm ripping through you. Let out a short scream from the pleasure, not caring who heard. No one had ever made you feel like this. You gripped the sheet on the bed tightly as you both finished. You only gave Misha a few seconds to catch his breath before you playfully pushed him off of you so that he was now laying on his back.

“I see how it is.” he said jokingly, trying to catch his breath as you got up to take a quick shower.

“We have to get ready, you’re taking me out for breakfast.” You poked your head out of the bathroom and winked at him.

“Oh am I?” he asked.

“Mhmm” You hummed as you brushed your teeth. When you hopped in the shower, you heard Misha’s phone ring. He answered it, you heard him talking quietly as you finished washing up. You wrapped a towel around your body and one around your hair and you walked out into the room to get dressed; you noticed Misha had a worried look on his face.

“What is it?” you asked him

“There is a-um, a few photos of us that have been put out.” You heart sank. Great. There was one more thing to deal with on top or Renee and whatever else was going to inevitably happen today.

“Are they of us on the plane?” You asked, he nodded.

“One of them is of us coming out of the bathroom all over each other.” He held up his phone to show you the picture.

“Well that’s not so bad, at least we’re clothed” you shrugged, it could be worse you thought, “what’s the other one.”

Misha was silent as he held up his phone to show you the second picture. It was of him and Renee, at the airport. After you’d left. They were kissing.

Your heart sank even more and you looked from the phone to Misha. Guilt was washing over his face, and your heart felt like it had been snapped in half. You turned around to go through your bag on the chair.

“I should’ve known better.” You said.

“It’s not what it looks like, Y/N.” You rolled your eyes as you slid on a pair of panties and put on your bra.

“Then maybe you would care to explain.” You threw your hands up in the air before putting on your jeans and t-shirt.

“It’s how I got her to leave, I-uh, I let her think we were still together. So I let her kiss me.” You stared at him with your hands on your hips. You didn’t care what kind of mental illness she had or if she couldn’t control he emotions or whatever. Misha needed to let her go.

“Do you still love her?”

“No. Of course not.” He deadpanned.

“But you must still care about her.” You said.

“How could I not babe? I know you still care about Andrew,” Misha stood up to walk towards you, he was right, you knew that you couldn’t just stop caring about people. “you and Andrew just broke up, and-and I’m going to take Renee to a hospital tomorrow, after the convention’s over.”

You crossed your arms and he grabbed onto your hips, pulling you close. You couldn’t look at him yet.

“I think it’s time you tell me what happened with you and her, Mish.” you finally looked up at him, there was sadness in his eyes. Whatever it was that happened was difficult for him.

“Okay. Fine, let’s go get breakfast and I’ll tell you.” you uncrossed your arms and wrapped them around him, leaning your head on his chest. “But then we have to figure out how to deal with this whole picture situation.”

* * *

The two of you had went down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast and Misha told you what had happened between him and Renee. That one night when she was arrested, apparently she had attempted suicide once she was released. Misha was there, and had to call 911,  she was admitted into the hospital for a few weeks, where she was later diagnosed with an extreme case of bipolar disorder. Misha let tears fall as he told you how he found her, on the bathroom floor, pills spilled everywhere; her wrists cut open, blood everywhere. Even if he didn’t love her anymore it was still an emotional experience for him. You wouldn’t want to find anyone like that.

Misha went on to tell you that she took her medication for a few months, and everything was fine, great even; but she started wanting to sleep all the time, getting sick, and she blamed it on the meds, he told you how she left for a few weeks, nowhere to be found, and when she came back she was off her medication. Misha said that he had tried to get her to go back to the hospital but since she wasn’t suicidal he couldn’t have her admitted.

Eventually, he got tired of her controlling him again, and things went back to how they used to be. He tried to leave a few more times, but she just somehow had always guilted him into coming back.

You held Misha’s hand as he finished telling you everything. You two were back in the hotel room now, it was almost time for you to go to your photo ops.

“So how do you know it’ll be different this time?” you asked him.

“I got a hold of her family, they’re going to help me get her into a hospital here.” He looked down at his lap, he still looked hurt from it all. “You’re the only one besides Jared and Jensen that knows all of that.”

You leaned over and hugged him, happy that he finally told you, but also sad that he had to go through all of that.  

“I love you” you told him, which brought a smile to his face.

“I love you too,” he kissed you before looking at his watch. “We’ve gotta get down stairs.”

You and Misha were making your way down the hallway, hand in hand, smiling and laughing. You had completely forgotten about the pictures that had been released, it didn’t matter anyhow, the only thing about them that was true was you and Misha. Right as you got to the room where the photo ops were, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out of your pocket to see who it was from, not worrying about reading it right now. Your smile fell when you read the name that flashed across the screen. _Andrew._


	9. Chapter 9

During your photo op, you were able to ignore the fact that you had gotten a text from Andrew. Especially since you deleted right away. You didn’t know what it said, nor did you want to know. You just wanted to enjoy the last day of the convention. Misha had noticed that there was something up with you, though he decided not to ask until later, when you both got back to Vancouver.

The rest of the day went smoothly, the fans were great, the rest of the cast kept telling you that you were a natural with your new found fame. You even had enough confidence to crash a panel. But you were happy when it was time to fly back to Vancouver. You hadn’t thought about it until now, but technically Vancouver was your home. Sure, you had your family back in Missouri, where you were originally from, but you now that you were twenty-four, you didn’t really consider your parents’ house your home anymore.

The flight back was long and quiet. You and Misha had company in first class this time, so there was no fooling around in the bathroom. The cast was teasing you about that as well. They kept saying _hey guys, the bathrooms open!_ And _no really, we don’t mind!_ You sunk further down into your seat with every joke that popped up. The photo that had been released had been dealt with, and now you were going to get teased for the entire time you were on the show.

You and Misha had decided to stay in your own apartments for the night, you were both really tired and needed to be up for filming in the morning, which wouldn’t happen if you stayed the night together; but apparently it wasn’t going to happen with you in bed alone either. You had gotten used to Misha being in bed with you the last few nights, and as you tossed and turned in your bed you decided to text him, maybe he’d still be up too.

Y/N: _Are you still up?_

You sat up as you waited for a text back. You looked around at your small bedroom, thinking about how comfy it was. Maybe you’d live here full time. Maybe Misha would want to live here with you. Your heart stopped a little at the thought. Everything was great with Misha. He had gotten Renee to the hospital with the help of her family a couple of hours before you flew home, and he was feeling much better now that, that weight was lifted. Your phone finally went off.

Misha: _Yep. What’s up?_

Y/N: _I can’t sleep, wanna join me down here?_

You waited again, this time laying back down and just staring at your ceiling, the thoughts of Andrew’s text message creeping into your head. What did he want? He had told you to never contact him again, so why was he contacting you? He hadn’t tried texting you again, so you were able to push the thoughts out of your head again just in time to hear a knock at the door. You jumped up and looked through the peep hole. You excitedly opened the door for Misha and welcomed him in by jumping up into his arms, and wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Miss me that much in just a couple of hours?” he asked you before kissing you.

_Mhmm_ was all you could get out as you were too busy kissing him. He kicked your door closed and walked with you in his arms to your bed. He’d been here for less than a minute and you’d already decided that this was one of your favorite moments with him. It was simple, and he felt like home.

He laid you down and he crawled in bed next to you, you two laying on your sides facing each other in silence. You loved just looking into his eyes, you never quite understood how someone could have eyes that were so blue.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are yet?” Misha said, breaking the silence.

“A few times, yeah,” You blushed while you giggled, he never stopped giving you butterflies. “And have I ever told you that I’m glad you came into my life?” He smiled at you, that big, full of life smile that you loved.

“You haven’t actually told me that yet, but I’m glad you have now.” You scooted closer to him to kissed him and he wrapped an arm around you. When you pulled back the two of you talked until you both fell asleep. You were happy that the conversation still flowed easily, and you were happy that you were here in his arms

* * *

The next morning you sat up quickly, realizing that the sun was out, and you weren’t at work.

_“Misha!”_ you shook him awake, he didn’t come to quite easily as you had. _“Misha_ it’s-” You looked at your phone noticing the many missed calls you had- _“Misha it’s eleven!”_

He sat up just as quickly as you did.

_“Shit.”_ He said, “Come on, we gotta go.” you both jumped up and rushed out the door, not even bothering to change out of your pajamas. You both jumped into his car and he raced to set. You called everyone back that had called wondering where the two of you were, luckily they were able to work on the scenes that you and Misha weren’t in.

“We’re not like, gonna get in trouble are we?” You asked Misha as he drove to set.

“No, they’re just probably not gonna be very happy with us for the day.” He said reassuringly, putting his hand on your knee. You were getting ready to say something when your phone rang. It was your mom. You hadn’t talked to her since you’d moved to Vancouver, so you figured you’d better answer.

“Hey mom.” You shot Misha a be good look. You still hadn’t told her about you and Misha, or that you and Andrew had even broken up.

“Hi honey! What are you up to?”

“I’m on my way to work, I overslept so I’m just now on my way.” You and your mom talked for the entire car ride to set. She had called wondering if you’d be coming home next weekend for your dad’s birthday, since you didn’t go home for Christmas or New Year’s. You told her you would, which brought you to explaining that you had broken up with Andrew, sparing the details of why you broke up. You weren’t even going to tell her that you were dating anyone, but she’d figured it out. You didn’t tell her it was Misha though; and somehow, even though she didn’t know who, she convinced you to bring him home with you. You said your goodbyes when Misha parked the car. And you hopped out, you and Misha both making your way to makeup.

“So, I’m meeting your family next weekend?” He asked you.

“Well since you’ve figured it out I guess I don’t have to explain it to you.” You laughed.

“Do they know who your boyfriend is?”

“Uh..no.” You said nervously, watching the ground as you continued to walk. He put his arm around you and kissed your head.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”  He assured you.

When you got to makeup you were immediately pulled apart and into chairs, you guys were really late. Someone from wardrobe actually came to escort you guys to the wardrobe trailer to ensure that neither of you would make stops along the way. You were rushed straight to set to begin filming. Neither of you had hardly gone over your lines, so there were a lot of screw ups and a lots _shit, sorry’s_ coming from you.

At the end of the day, when you were all given the okay to go home, you were relieved. You instead went straight to your trailer to read your script. Your stomach was still in knots from messing up so much today. Even though everyone assured you that it was okay, and that it happens to everyone, you couldn’t stop kicking yourself over it.  You looked up from your script when you heard Misha walking in.

“You could always do this in my trailer you know, it’s a little bigger over there.” He said, he had his hands in his pockets. He still hadn’t changed out of Cas’ clothes.

“I don’t mind it over here-” you shrugged- “it’s cozy, comforting.” You sat your script down and looked up at Misha, smiling.

“Have I ever told you how sexy Castiel is?” You said, shifting in your seat. Misha raised an eyebrow at you, and walked towards you. You stood up and met him in the middle of your trailer. You pulled him down to you by his tie and kissed him. You pulled away from him a little bit after a moment, “I’ve actually been wanting to get my hands on him for a long time.”

Misha smiled at you, while putting his hands on your hips and playing a long.

“I think we may be able to arrange something.” He said using his Castiel voice. You smiled as your hands came up and slipped his trench coat off, then his jacket. You gripped onto the sleeves of his shirt and sat him down on your small couch. He began to loosen his tie as you slipped out of your pyjama pants that you had just put back on minutes before Misha walked into your trailer.

“Take your shirt off too, angel.” you said as you slipped off your shirt and panties, double checking that your door was locked. You knelt down to undo Misha’s pants as he finished unbuttoning his shirt. You wanted to spare the lecture you would get if you ruined a perfectly good set of clothes. He pushed himself up slightly so you could pull his pants down, him finishing up taking his shirt off.

“So-” you said as you straddled him- “do you do this for all of your fangirls?”

“Just you.” He said in his Castiel voice once again. You reached down and guided his erection to your entrance while holding onto his shoulder with your other hand, wasting no time sinking down onto him.

_“Y/N”_ he groaned once he was fully seated inside of you, he gripped your hips tightly as you began to move up and down slowly. Misha began to guide you by your hips to encourage you to move faster, only you stopped him so that you could grind down onto him, making his cock to penetrate you even deeper, causing him to throw his head back and dig his fingers into your hips. You slowly raised yourself up enough so that just his head was inside of you. You made eye contact with him before you dropped yourself down onto him hard enough for him moan louder than you were for a moment. You continued with the slow, deep grinding until you felt yourself close to the edge. When he realized this be began to thrust upwards into you, you leaned back enough to support yourself on his knees as he circled his thumb around your clit. His thrusts became faster and faster until your orgasm ripped through you. A few thrusts later he followed and began shaking underneath you, his cock twitching inside of you as he spilled out into you.

You fell forward onto him while he was still inside of you.

“So, you wanna go home and do that again?” He asked you, your head resting on his shoulder.

“I would, but I think we’d be late for work again tomorrow.”

“There’s a bed in my trailer..” He trailed off, lifting you to sit back up. You smiled and nodded. You climbed off of him to clean up a little and put on enough clothes to make the walk over to Misha’s trailer. You knew this was going to be a good night.


	10. Chapter 10

Over the next two weeks, everything had been going well. You and Misha practically spent every second together, the only time you two were apart was when you didn’t have scenes with each other.  You’d been alternating apartments, sometimes you’d stay with Misha and sometimes he’d stay with you. Your days off were spent tangled up in sheets in bed with him and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tomorrow was going to be different though, you were flying home for your dad’s birthday this weekend, and you were bringing Misha with you. You were a nervous wreck. Andrew was the only other person your family had met. He’d also been your only other boyfriend you’d ever had. You’d told your mom that you had broken up with Andrew, but she probably didn’t tell anyone else; and the only place where you and Misha had really announced that you were together was at the convention a few weeks ago. You really had no idea how anyone would react.

You were happy to be going home after all. You hadn’t seen your family in a few months. You’d tried to tell your mom that’d you’d get a hotel room, but she wasn’t having any of it. She insisted that you stay at home. You’d agreed and hoped it would work out.

Your younger sister lived at home, who also watched Supernatural; so you expected that to be awkward. You also had a slightly overprotective older brother, who was going to be staying the weekend at home as well. Along with cousins, aunts, and uncles who asked many questions. To say you were nervous about all of this was an understatement. That’s why when you were packing, Misha saw something from you that he’d never seen before, not even before your first panel. You were a nervous wreck. You were shaky and slightly sweaty, and you kept rambling about God knows what to Misha.

Currently, you were rambling about the one time when you were on vacation with your family and your cousins convinced you to chug a bunch of ocean water, causing you to get sick. You had no idea why you were telling Misha all of this, but he listened to you with smile on his face, your ramblings adding another thing to his list of reasons why he loves you. When you got to the part of the story where you were explaining what your puke looked like, he finally interrupted you.

“Y/N, babe.-” he got up off of your bed where he was sitting and walked around to you, where you were placing clothes in a suitcase- “I know what your puke looks like, remember?” He joked, remembering the time he cleaned up after you when you were a drunken mess.

You sighed as he pulled you into a hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m just so nervous-” you looked up at him- “what if they don’t like you?”

“Then they don’t like me, it’ll be fine,” he smiled at you, and laughed little, “aren’t I supposed to be the one that’s nervous about this?”

You turned your head to the side. He was right. You were over reacting. People introduce their significant others to their family all the time. This time was no different. Misha already fit so perfectly into your life, it wouldn’t make sense for your family not to like him.

“You’re right-” you shook your head- “you really don’t need my entire life story before tomorrow morning.”

You pulled away and turned to finish packing, Misha’s gaze never leaving you. You looked at him from the corner of your eye as you rolled some clothes up to put in your bag.

“What’re you staring at?” you said playfully, turning back to face him.

“I just can’t get over how lucky I am to have you.” He said before turning to go back where he was sitting. You blushed, like you always do around him. You threw one of your shirts at him.

“Go to sleep, we have an early flight.”

“Fine-” he said, adjusting himself on your bed, when he was comfortable he held his arms out for you to join him- “C’mere.”

You finished placing your clothes in your suitcase and plopped it on the floor, shutting the light off before crawling in bed with Misha.

* * *

You and Misha had to be up at three in the morning to get going. Your flight was a long one, and then you had a two hour drive from the airport to your parents’ house. Misha had offered to drive, but you said it’d just be easier for you to since you knew the area. You were tired from sitting on an airplane all day, the sudden time change, and now this two hour drive you had to make.

You pulled up in your parents driveway, your heart was pounding. You had moved passed the rambling stage of your nervousness, and you’d moved onto silence. Misha was talking to you the entire ride to try and get your mind off of it but it didn’t help. You took a deep breath and got out of the car. Misha followed you, and you walked hand in hand to the door. Before you even got to your porch your mom had flung the door open and ran outside!

_“My baby!_ ” She yelled as she wrapped her arms around you, you leaning into her hug. You missed her. She pulled away from you and turned to Misha.

“And who is this?” she knew exactly who he was; but your mom wanted you to say it.

“Mom, this is Misha…my boyfriend.” he smiled at her and began to reach his hand out to shake hers when she pulled him into a hug too. You cleared your throat, causing your mom to pull away and look at you.

“Okay Miss tv star, come inside.” she said jokingly, and you and Misha following her in.

You immediately plopped down on the couch in the living room, motioning for Misha to come sit next to you, your mom had went upstairs to get your brother and sister. You laid your head back and closed your eyes. You were happy to be home.

_“Y/N? You’re dating Misha Collins!? And you brought him here?!”_ You heard your sister squeal and your eyes shot open. You jumped up and ran to her, tackling her down to the floor with a hug. Through laughs and squeals you were finally able to talk.

“Yes, he’s right there, and yes I’m dating him.” You noticed he had gotten up to help you up off of the floor. Your sister shot up and hugged him before you had the chance to grab his hand. You stood up and placed your hands on your hips.

“Jen-” you moved over to try and pry her off of him- “he’s an actual human being Jen, you can’t just attach yourself to him like that.”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t believe he’s real, and that you’re dating him, and that you’re on the show!”

She smiled as she gave you another hug.

“Misha this is Jen, Jen-Misha.” you said.

“Hi Jen.” Misha said

“Can you say my name again only..as Castiel?”

_“Jen!”_ you yelled at her.

“Jen what are you doing?” you heard your mom entering the room. Misha laughed and looked at you. You forgot he’s used to this kind of treatment.

“Y/N, your brother’s caught up in a deep game of whatever on his nintendo-” she finished walking down the stairs- “and your father will be home in a few hours.”

“Okay mom-uh, I think Misha and I are gonna go up to my room, we’re both really tired from flying all day.” You noticed the way your mom and Jen were looking at you, they wanted you to stay and talk to them for a while. You looked at Misha, you could tell he needed some sleep.

“Actually, Misha, I’ll get our bags and I’ll be up there soon.” you told him where your room was and by the sound of your door closing it seemed he had found it alright.

You, your mom and your sister all sat down in the living room. You taking the couch again, this time next to Jen, and your mom sat down in her chair.

“So how are you guys?” you asked them

“It’s been boring around here since you and Derek moved out.” Jen said.

“Jen, it wouldn’t be so bad if you actually let the house once in awhile.” your mom told her, she responded by glaring at her.

“What’s it like being on a tv show?” Jen asked you.

“It’s fun, I really like it. I mean, the hours are long and it’s exhausting, but I wouldn’t trade it.”

“And Misha?” Jen wanted you to tell her how you came about dating him.

“Misha’s a story for another time Jenny.” You’re mom looked at you as you tried to shut that conversation down.

“And how old is Misha, honey?” your mom asked you. You never really thought about the age difference between you and Misha, it had never really come up. But to some people it was probably a little weird.

“He’s 42.” Your mom just sort of raised her eyebrows at you before trying to change the subject.

“And you’re happy?”

You smiled and nodded. You were really happy. Misha was probably the single greatest thing that had ever happened to you.

“So what are we doing for dad’s-” you were cut off by the doorbell ringing- “I’ll get it.” you offered. You thought it would be a nice surprise for whoever was stopping by. Your mom and sister continued talking as you got up and walked to the door, opening it with a smile and without a second thought.

“Hi, Y/N. Are you busy?” your jaw dropped when you saw Andrew standing on your porch. What could he possibly want? Why would he even bother coming here? You decided not to make it seem like you were trying to avoid him at all costs so you turned around to walk into the kitchen, leaving the door open so that he could follow you in. You figured if you ever wanted him to leave you alone, you’d have to hear him out. He followed you into the kitchen and you spun around to face him.

_“What do you want, Andrew?”_ you snapped at him as quietly as you could, so that no one would hear you.

“I wanted to apologize.”


	11. Chapter 11

You stood there, your arms crossed, head down. He wanted to apologize. _Apologize._ You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know what to think. He _hurt_ you. He put you in a situation you’d never been in before, and one you’d hoped to never be in again.

“Y/N,” he whispered, “please say something.”

“What am I supposed to say Andrew?” your head snapped up, finally making eye contact with him, “you-” your eyes began to water- “you hurt me, and I know I cheated on you, and I’m sorry for that, but you, you should never have done that to me.”

Your shoulders were shaking while you were fighting sobs. You were determined not to cry in front of Andrew, he didn’t deserve it; but regardless if you were crying or not, you were a blubbering mess. You just couldn’t get your words out. Andrew stepped forward and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N, I forgive you for cheating. I don’t care about that anymore.” Andrew placed his free hand on your other shoulder and without thinking you gave into his touch, leaning into let him wrap his arms around you. He was so familiar. He ran his hand through your hair, comforting you just like he used to. For a moment you forgot about everything, you forgot about the last few months, the show, Misha, everything. You let it all fade away.

Andrew stood there with you for a moment, you could still hear your mom and sister in the living room talking. Andrew pulled back slightly, his shirt was now stained with your tears; you had given into crying. He looked down at you and you looked into his eyes, just like he used to. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your lips. You kissed him back for only a second before you shoved him off of you. You wiped your mouth and shook your head, Trying not to make eye contact with him.

“You need to leave,” you said, pointing at the door,

“Y/N-” he tried to argue

_“LEAVE.”_ you yelled. Too loud. Everyone in the house surely heard you.

Andrew turned to leave and was out of the house before your mom came rushing in the kitchen to see you crying, she gave you a concerned look but you just made your way around her, and up stairs. Going straight for your room. You opened the door and stepped in, immediately slamming and locking it, sinking down to the floor against it. You looked around at your room, forgetting that Misha was asleep in here. You had woken him up with slamming your door, he was sitting up as your eyes fell on him.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” he asked you, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m fine.” you said, cold. Emotionless. Though tears were still running down your face.

“Babe, please don’t lie to me-” you noticed the look of worry on his face as he got up and made his way to you on the floor, immediately wrapping his arms around you- “what happened?”

You began to sob even harder, you didn’t know what to say. This was not good either way. You didn’t want to lie to Misha but at the same time you didn’t want him to know what happened. Why had Andrew even been in town anyway? How did he even know that you were here? You had to tell Misha what just happened, you didn’t have time to make anything up.

“A-andrew just stopped by,” you barely managed to get out through sobbing.

“Wh-what?” He said, his expression turning to anger, “Why?”

“H-he wanted to apologize or something stupid like that-” you readjusted yourself in Misha’s arms, pulling away from him slightly- “he kissed me.”

Misha was silent as he watched you begin to cry even harder, he brought you back into an embrace, and held you tighter. You could feel his tension but he just didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say, or how to react. He didn’t know the details of what happened but he couldn’t shake the thought that crept into the back of his mind, the thought that said _if she cheated with me_ , _would_ _she cheat_ on _me?_

“I love you.” He whispered as he kissed the top of your head, shoving his doubts aside. Now wasn’t the time. You couldn’t stop crying enough to respond, so Misha pulled back and smiled at you.

“Baby please stop crying.” He cupped your tear soaked face in his hands, thinking of something else to say that could calm you down or distract you. He looked around your room and pointed at the decor you had above and on your dresser.

“I see you really were a fan of the show,” he laughed, as you both looked at the Supernatural posters covering the wall, some of them including just posters of Misha, as he was your favorite after all. Your dresser had tons of Supernatural merchandise as well. Including Funko Pop dolls and a mini model of the impala. You were a _huge_ fan.

“How did you keep your cool as well as you did when you first started on set?” he asked you, smiling, your tears began to subside and you remembered your first day on set like it was yesterday.

“I was j-just in sh-shock-” you got out, you smiled a little bit, your voice was going to be shaky for the rest of the day though- “and meeting you, it, it was like a dream come true.” you were finally able to return his smile.

You thought about how quickly you and Misha hit it off when you started on the show. There was always almost like this force that drew you two together. Your first week on set you two were together practically the whole time. Of course you thought he was just being nice, but you quickly had learned that he wasn’t normally quite as friendly with guest stars as he was with you. You thought about the on screen kiss you had with him your first week of filming. How nervous you were, but how head over heels you were to be kissing your favorite actor. You thought about the first time he knocked on your apartment door, when you first moved to Vancouver. You remembered the alcohol induced make out session in your apartment that night.

You brought yourself back to reality when your mom began knocking on your door, trying to get in. Feeling much better now, you and Misha stood up and you let her in.

“Y/N, What happened?” she asked you, placing her arm around your shoulder.

“Nothing, Andrew just stopped by.” You wanted to spare any details you could, though you knew eventually the truth would surface. You just didn’t know when

Your mom gave you _a look_ when Derek (your brother) walked in.

“Hey Y/N.” he wrapped you in a big hug. You saw him less than you saw the rest of your family. He lived in Illinois, and he wasn’t always there when you were visiting.

“I missed you Derek.” you said, squeezing him tighter.

“You and your new boyfriend should get ready, we’re going out tonight.” He said, pulling away.

“Oh are we?” you questioned him.

“Yep, I just called Alex, Jeremy, and Rae.” He said, smiling mischievously. Alex and Jeremy were your cousins, Alex was Derek’s age, and Jeremy was closer to your age. Rae was your best friend in high school. You didn’t talk or see her very often anymore, but the thought of going out with everyone tonight sounded fun; and you needed fun right now.

You looked at Misha, then back at Derek and your mom, smiling.

“Okay then, let’s get ready!” you said excitedly.

You turned to grab a towel and some different clothes from your suitcase and pushed passed everyone to jump in the shower. You left Misha there with your mom and Derek but he’d be okay, Misha was introducing himself to Derek as you left the room.

* * *

You Misha, and Derek made your way out of the house without Jen seeing you, she was still too young to go out drinking with you, and she threw a fit about it every time, to this day.

You all took Derek’s car and made your way to the same bar you always met up with your cousins at. _The lifeline_. It was everyone’s favorite bar in town, it was also the busiest; but it was the best place in town to just sit and have some drinks. The ride was easy, Misha seemed to get along with Derek really well, which was more than you could have hoped for.

When you got to the bar, everyone was already there, you had another squealing reunion with Rae, a few moments of _oh my god Misha Collins_ , and before you knew it you were all sitting at the bar ordering your drinks. Misha looked at you funny when you ordered a strawberry margarita.

“What?” you asked him.

“No wine?” he said, his eyebrows raised. He was right, you normally ordered wine; but tonight was going to be fun, and that’s just was tequila helped you with.

“We’re here to party!” you said excitedly, Misha smiled at you and put his arm around you while you and and everyone caught up while drinking your first couple of drinks.

Everyone was getting along really well, and it was just like the last time you were home, only Misha was with you this time. It was almost better. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that Andrew may have held you back a little. Misha wasn’t like that. He wanted you to have fun, and to do what you wanted. He was by your side no matter what. You were a little suspicious about how he reacted to Andrew kissing you earlier, but you tried not to worry.

“Hey, guys, I’ll be right back.” you said. You spun around in your seat and stood up, you had a good buzz from the first two margaritas you’d had. You started to make your way to the bathroom when you were met face to face with Andrew. You’d already seen too much of him today, you really didn’t want to see anymore of him.

“Are you following me or something?!” you shouted, grabbing the attention of everyone sitting at the bar, your brother, cousins, friend, and Misha included. Before Andrew had the chance to say anything, Misha was at your side, his arm around your waist, the look on his face was not a happy one. Derek was at your other side almost as quickly as Misha. Derek didn’t know what happened, but he was smart enough to figure out that something bad happened if you didn’t want anyone to know.

“Y/N-” Andrew began, shifting his weight as he stood- “we didn’t really finish talking earlier-”

“-Yes you did.” Misha said, pulling you closer.

Andrew didn’t say anything else. He stood there and stared at you for a moment, begging you with the look on his face to come talk to him. It wasn’t happening, you were done.

“Man come on, don’t look at her like that.” Derek said, he looked at Andrew and shook his head, he needed to walk away before he did something he’d regret. You turned your head and motioned to everyone to come on, you, Misha and everyone made your way outside, you’d find another bar. You and Misha following behind the group.

The five of you were outside, talking like normal, making your way down the block when Andrew stepped out of the bar after you, and charged Misha.

Andrew pushed Misha, causing him to stumble forward, which knocked you over.You caught your self before your face hit the concrete, but you scraped your knees pretty badly. Misha spun around as Rae came to your side to help you up. You stood up in just enough time to see Misha throw a punch, knocking Andrew to the ground. You looked behind you to see Derek getting ready to step in. Before Andrew even had time to get up, Misha was already over him, punching him in the face two more times. He raised his hand a third time but Derek had stepped in and pulled him away.

“ _You_ stay the fuck away from her!” Misha yelled.

Andrew was on the ground, working on propping himself up on his elbow, his other hand covering his bloodied nose, unable to respond.

You were in shock, trying to take in everything that had just happened. You tore your eyes from Andrew to Misha, who was now on his way over to you. Misha wrapped his arm around your waist, the look on his face completely filled with rage. You placed your hand on his chest to try and calm him as you and the rest of the group turned to walk away.

You’d only walked a few feet when you heard a police siren behind you. You turned your head to see a police officer getting out of the car and walking your way, and another officer making their way to Andrew. The one walking your way ordering you all to freeze. Everything was a total blur and the next thing you knew, Misha and Andrew were both in handcuffs and being put in the back of a cruiser. You looked back ahead of you to see that there was another officer standing there, wanting to ask you all questions.

Within the next few minutes you were flooded with questions like: What happened? So that one’s your boyfriend? Why were they fighting? Who started it?

You couldn’t wrap your head around anything, when all the cops left you realized that there were tears running down your face. What just happened? What do you do? It was brought to your attention that it was someone in the bar that had called the police. Derek was by your side, he assured everyone that they could go home. Rae made you promise her that’d you’d call her when you figured everything out.

For now, you and Derek needed to get to the police station.


	12. Chapter 12

You pushed the doors to the police station open, heading straight to the desk behind the glass window at the front, Derek following close behind you.

“Can I help you?” the woman on the other side said.

“Yes-” you were out of breath from running- “M-my boyfriend was brought in about an hour ago? He was arrested? His name’s Misha?”

“You’ll have to go to the bonds desk if you’re here to pick him up.” she pointed down the long hallway where there was another glass window with a desk on the inside.

You quickly made your way to the other desk and lightly tapped on the glass to get the man’s attention.

“Last name?” He asked you without even looking up from his computer.

“Collins.” you replied, and the man typed for a moment before looking up.

“There’s no one here with that last name, ma’am.”

You shook your head, putting a hand to your forehead. This was way too much.

“Krushnic.”

The man looked back down at his computer and continued typing for a moment before picking up the phone to call someone, you crossed your arms and turned to Derek, exchanging  a look with him expressing how crazy this all was. You hadn’t even begun to think about what this would do for you and Misha publicly. There would surely be articles all over the internet by morning.

The man cleared his throat and you turned back to him.

“Mr. Krushnic is being charged with fourth degree assault and is required by state law to be held for twelve hours before he can be released.”

“What am I supposed to do?” you snapped, the alcohol from a little while ago boosting your confidence a bit- “Doesn’t he get a phone call or something? Do you realize that we are both going to be plastered all over the internet by morning?”

“Ma’am you need to calm down-” he stood up behind the glass putting his hands on his hips- “he’s already had his phone call, he probably called his lawyer. I don’t know. But there’s nothing more I can do for you.”

You stood there with your mouth open as you spun on your heels and stormed off outside, not waiting for Derek. You began to make your way home, you really didn’t live that far from the police station, just a few blocks. You needed the air anyhow. A couple of minutes later Derek rolled up beside you in his car, slowing down to match the speed of your steps.

“Hey Hollywood.” he’d been calling you that since you’d gotten home, even though Supernatural didn’t even film there.

“What Derek?”

“You shouldn’t be out here by yourself this late-” he looked between the road and you- “people recognize you now, could be dangerous.”

“I’m fine.”

“Then I’m gonna follow you til we get home.” he said. You rolled your eyes.

“Fine, but-” you were interrupted by your phone ringing. You pulled it out of your purse. It was an unknown number, without thinking, you answered. There was a recording from the police station on the other end, it must’ve been Misha. You pressed one to accept the call.

“Misha?”

“Baby, are you okay?” you heart fluttered and you felt a little nauseous from the relief of hearing his voice.

“I’m fine, my knees are a little banged up, but I’m okay.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just couldn’t let him get away with that.” He said.

“No, it’s okay. He deserved it-” you turned your head so that Derek couldn’t see you talking- “and that was pretty hot back there, you know, you defending my honor and all.”

“ _Mmm_ , well, you can show me your appreciation tomorrow, how’s that sound?”

“Oh I will, but babe-” you cleared your throat, you were almost home, this was going to be fun to explain to your family- “people are going to talk, and the internet-”

“-I’ll take care of it, please don’t worry, go home and get some sleep.” He interrupted you. You sighed, remembering that you were still new to this, and that you trusted Misha.

“Okay, I love you Misha.”

“I love you too.”

You hung up the phone as you were walking up to your house, the same time Derek pulled into the driveway. Talking to Misha did help you feel a bit better, but you were still worried.

When you and Derek walked in, all of the lights were out. You were relieved that you wouldn’t have to explain anything to anyone until morning. You made your way up to the bathroom to clean up your knees before going to bed. You were hoping that Jen wouldn’t sneak in to talk tonight. You missed her so much but you just didn’t want anyone to know about this.

You were simply afraid of what your family would think of you if they knew. You pulled back the covers on your bed, crawling in, leaving your nightstand lamp on. You looked at your Supernatural posters on the wall, thinking of how different your life was the last time you’d slept in this bed. You rolled over and pulled the covers up over your head. Your bed smelled like Misha from when he’d slept in it earlier. It was a little bit harder falling asleep when you weren’t next to him, but the alcohol and stress from the night had you asleep in no time.

* * *

You woke up the next morning, checking your phone: eleven o’clock. You ignored the missed calls you had and went straight to the texts you had received. It looked like word had gotten out about last night. You went to the text you had gotten from Derek, he knew you probably wouldn’t want to talk about what had happened.

Derek: _Don’t worry, told everyone there was a misunderstanding. No need to expect an interrogation_.

You put your phone back down and pulled the covers back up over you for a minute, not wanting to start the day. You hurt a burst of laughter from people downstairs followed by someone making their way to you room. There was a slight knock on the door but you didn’t get the chance to answer. You pretended to still be asleep, hoping that they’d go away.

You felt the person jump on the bed where you were laying, scooting up next to your covered up body and they pulled the blanket from your face. You opened your eyes so that you could snap on whoever dared disturbing you, only to be greeted by a grinning Misha.

“Hey there,” he said, beginning to crawl under the covers with you,

“Misha, when’d you get here?”

“About an hour ago,” you noticed that he was still in last night’s clothes.

“Why didn’t you come up?” you started to get a little frustrated with him.

“You needed sleep, and I took it upon myself to get better acquainted with your family.”

You rolled your eyes, thinking again how lucky you were to have him.

“How’d you know I was up?” you asked, scooting closer to him.

“Derek said you’d read his message-” he trailed off as he moved his arm around you and brought his face closer to yours.

You laid there with him like that for a moment before closing the distance that was between your lips, showing Misha just how much you missed him with a kiss. You brought your hand to the back of his head, tangling your hand in his hair. He started to push you back slightly so that he could get on top of you but you stopped him, pushing him on his back.

“I’ve gotta show you my appreciation, remember?” You said seductively, glancing to make sure your door was locked before you ripped the front of Misha’s shirt open, and working your way down his torso.

“You don’t _ha-_ ” he was cut off by you palming at his bulge that was already hardening in his pants. You made your way down to his belt buckle and began to undo his pants, pulling out his almost hard cock. You pumped him a few times while you licked your lips, then you took him in your mouth, you immediately began bobbing your head and sucking as hard as you could, causing him to harden the rest of the way and buck his hips up.

As you sucked, and stroked what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, his hands found their way to you hair, pulling just hard enough to make you want to ride him, but you wanted to focus on him right now. He began to lose himself underneath you. Wreathing and breathing heavily, gripping your hair even tighter, but you didn’t let up.

He let out a hushed moan, making sure to stay quiet, as you cupped his balls with your free hand and traced your tongue in circles around his shaft as you sucked. He bucked his hips up once more, causing him to hit the back of your throat as he came. He gripped your hair tightly as you licked up the warm liquid, before popping off and coming back up and resting your head on his chest.

“I owe you more of those.” You said as you caught your breath, patting him on his chest. He was out of breath himself and had a layer of sweat that had formed on him.

“I won’t stop you..” He said, tugging at your arm slightly to pull you up for a kiss. You kissed him long and hard in the comfort of his arms. His hand traced it’s way down your arm, made it’s way to the front of you when he reached your hip, and slipped it in your panties.

You arched your back as circled a finger around your clit briefly before tracing down your folds to your entrance. He slid a finger in and trusted it a few times before moving back to your clit, rubbing and circling it with your wetness.

_“Misha, you don’t have to-”_

“I want to,” he whispered.

He circled your clit faster and faster, smiling at you as he watched you become more and more flustered. He began to shift to move down on your but your grabbed his wrist and held him there, you were too close to worry about it. He went for your neck instead, latching on and sucking on your sweet spot, sending you over the edge. You whimpered, trying to keep the noise level down, and bucked your hips up as you rode out your orgasm. Misha moved to kiss you until you were through, you moaned into his mouth.

When you were through he pulled away, and went to find another shirt, since you’d ripped his.

“We should take shower,” you said as you watched him slide off his shirt.

“We shouldn’t share the shower in your parents’ house.”

_“But-”_ you tried to get him to agree to it but he interrupted you with a kiss.

“Go take a shower, I’ll take one after you,” he said against your lips.

You nodded and slid out of bed. You grabbed your pink thigh length bath robe that was hanging on the door, throwing it on the bed, before sliding your panties down. You were turned away from Misha, but you could feel his eyes on you.

You grabbed the bottom of your shirt and tugged upward, slowly taking it off, you weren’t wearing a bra so you were now standing at the foot of your bed completely naked. You turned around to face Misha as you picked your bathrobe up, but before you could put it on he was  in front of you, his lips on yours. He pushed you back down on the bed. He went to lay on top of you but you sat up quickly, lifting the t-shirt up that he had just put on and made your way down his torso once more, running your hands all over his chest.

You undid his pants again and tried to take him into your mouth, but he pulled away and pushed you back down. He pulled his pants down the rest of the way and took his shirt off before laying down on top of you, resting between your legs, which you brought up and wrapped around his waist as quickly as you could, allowing him to thrust into you. You let out a strangled moan but he brought his hand straight to your mouth to keep you quiet.

You knew you you probably didn’t have much time before someone came up and knocked on the door, so you bucked your hips up to meet each of Misha’s thrusts. As you did this he started fucking you harder into the bed, neither of you lasting very long before he was faltering, and you were wreathing. You both rode each other through your second orgasms, his hand still keeping your from making any noise. When you were both done he rolled off of you.

You laid there for a minute to catch your breath before looking at him and smiling.

“I’m gonna go take that shower,” you said, out of breath as Misha was getting up to put his clothes back on.

He leaned down and kissed you as you slid your robe over you and tied it. You grabbed some clothes, a towel, and your phone and made your way into the bathroom. You sat on the toilet while you waited for the water to get hot. You decided to go through the many, many missed calls you had. You had twenty-three missed calls and eight voicemails. You really didn’t want to listen to them. You scrolled through your call log and noticed that thirteen of the missed calls were from Andrew. Your heart sank as you remembered last night. There was obviously something going on with Andrew. Seven of the voicemails were from him as well.

Steam started to roll from the shower, you got up and turned the hot water down some so that it wouldn’t run out, then sat back down and pressing the return call button next to Andrew’s name. It rang once before you heard a voice on the other end.

_“Y/N?”_


	13. Chapter 13

“Andrew, I uh, was just calling you back?” you were still unsure of why you’d called him.

“Did you listen to any of my messages?” he asked you.

“Uh-no.”

You heard Andrew take a deep breath on the other end of the phone,

“Y/N, I want you to come back to LA with me.”

“What?!” you’d said that a little louder than you meant to. It was a good thing the shower was running.

“Y/N I love you, and I thought maybe since you got the whole thing with Misha out of your system you’d be ready to come back.”

You shook your head as you sat there, speechless. Did he really think all of this?

“Andrew I-” you started to tear up, you’d never noticed that Andrew was like this until now- “I’m in love with Misha. I’m not leaving him.”

“Y/N, please-” you heard Andrew’s voice crack, and you hung up. You weren’t sure what to think anymore. He didn’t matter anymore.

You stood up and turned the hot water back up in the shower before getting in.

* * *

After you and Misha were both showered, you’d made your way downstairs to be with the rest of your family. It was great being home, though you were reminded of the fact that you’d be perfectly fine never living at home again.

Your family all got along really well with Misha, which was great. You’d been worried that maybe it was too soon to introduce them, but it all seemed meant to be. You had fun the rest of the day, catching up with family, your dad’s party, everyone was really proud of you for getting a part on Supernatural. You and Misha had finally come up with a story on how you two had started dating. You said that when you moved to Vancouver that you fell for each other instantly, and that when Andrew had come to see you, you ended things. Leaving out the part about cheating on him, but it also explained why him and Misha had gotten into a fight.

* * *

On Sunday, you and Misha were supposed to be flying back that afternoon, so you spent some time with Jen, she really wanted to ask you every single question about the show she could think of, what the other cast was like, basically every question that any other fangirl would ask. You even got her tickets to your next convention, which was in Chicago, next weekend.

After spending Sunday morning at home with your sister, you and Misha made the long journey back to Vancouver. The drive to the airport and the long flights back to Canada wearing you both out for the day. When you got back to your apartment it was almost ten, and you both went straight to sleep.

* * *

You woke up early Monday morning in your own bed, at your apartment in Vancouver. It was really starting to feel like home. You were feeling refreshed and ready to get back to work tomorrow. It was the beginning of February now, and that meant there was only about a month and a half left of filming.

You looked beside you on the bed at Misha, who was still asleep. You leaned over and swept some hair out of his eye, it was starting to grow out a bit. You smiled as you got up and made your way into your kitchen and started a pot of coffee. You took some eggs out of the fridge along with a package of bacon and started on breakfast.

When the food was almost done, Misha walked into the kitchen and sat down at your island,

“Morning.” he mumbled.

“Morning sleepy head.”

You poured him a cup of coffee and walked over to him, and greeted him with a kiss. You were getting used to this life. You walked back to your stove and finished cooking.

Misha took a sip of coffee before throwing a crumpled up napkin at you to get your attention. You threw it back and turned to him as you dished up the food.

“Hey now,” you said playfully, “don’t throw stuff at the woman who’s cooking your food.”

“I just wanted you to turn around so I could see your beautiful face.” He said with a grin.

You rolled your eyes and sat down next to him and placed the plates of food in front of you both. You looked down at your plate and thought about telling him that you called Andrew Saturday, but the conversation was so short, and just, not worth it. Besides, you hadn’t heard from him since.

“So-” Misha began as he started eating his food- “I heard from Renee’s family.”

You looked up at him, you could see that he was a bit anxious about it.

“And?”

“She’s better-” he put his fork down- “they said I should talk to her.”

“Okay,” you replied. You actually thought it was a good idea, “so when would you talk to her?”

“Uh-whenever I can I guess, we could skype.”

You nodded as you ate more of your food. You were happy that he would finally be able to get things straightened out. Since you obviously can’t get things sorted out with Andrew, at least one of you would be able to take a step towards moving on finally.

“Okay, well, you can do that whenever-” you got up to put your plate in the sink- “I’m gonna shower and then read my script for a while, and don’t forget about our promo shoot later.”

You walked over to Misha and kissed him before walking off into the bathroom. You took a longer shower than usual, you were lost in your own thoughts today. When you came out of the bathroom to walk to your bedroom, you heard Misha talking, and saw him sitting in front of the computer. He must have called Renee. You tried not to listen but you couldn’t help it.

There was a moment of silence before you hear Misha talk again, this time, his voice was cracked.

“You didn’t even consider that I might,” he paused, taking in a deep breath, “you didn’t think that I-that I might want it?”

What? You thought, your heart sinking. What was he talking about? Want what? You rushed into your room and closed the door, getting dressed as quickly as possible. You sat on your bed and tried to read your script, but you couldn’t focus. What did he want? To be with her? You had to know what Misha was talking about.  You threw your script to the side just as the door opened.

Misha’s eyes were red, and his hair was tousled even more than usual, he’d been crying.

“Babe?” you got up on your knees and reached your arms out for him. He sat on the bed in front of you and you wrapped your arms around him.

“What happened?”

“Renee, she uh-” he shook his head- “when she disappeared for a few weeks, she um,” his voice cracked again, “she had an abortion.”

“She was pregnant?” you asked. Your heart sank. Would this change things?

He nodded. He over at you with tears in his eyes, but you could also see some anger. This hurt him, a lot. Neither of you said anything, you just laid in bed with him for a while.

“Are you gonna be okay?” you asked him. You really had no idea how to react to all of this. You wanted to be there for him. But how in the world do you comfort someone who just found out that they could’ve been a parent?

He looked up at you and smiled slightly before putting his arm around you and pulling you close to him.

“I’ll be fine baby girl, I just wish she would have told me.” he kissed the top of your head, as you curled up into him even more.

You couldn’t deny that maybe it would’ve been the right thing for Renee to do, instead of going behind his back; but what if she had told him? Would you two be together right now? The thought made your heart skip a beat. At this point you couldn’t imagine being without Misha.

“Did you,” you began nervously, “did you wanna be a dad?”

He took a deep breath, “I’ve always wanted to be one-” you two looked at each other- “the timing’s just never been right I guess.”

You pushed yourself up to kiss him, “I love you,” you said against his lips.

He placed a hand on the side of your face, and deepend the kiss. You climbed on top of him before breaking this kiss.

“Move in here. With me.” you said. His eyes widened and he sat up, you adjusting so that you were now straddling him.

“You sure?”

You nodded. You two were together all the time anyway, it only made sense. There was some emotions flowing in the room when you said it, but you’d been thinking about it anyway.

“I love you, so much, Y/N.” he said before bringing you back in for a kiss. You smiled against his lips as the need for friction increased.

* * *

An hour later you were tangled up in the sheets with Misha, your clothes on the floor with you resting your head on his chest, trying to catch your breath as he played with your hair.

“I’m never gonna get tired of this.” you said.

“I’m never gonna get tired of you,” you looked up at him and smiled. You were head over heels for this man. Which is why you needed to tell him about your conversation with Andrew from Saturday.

“I um-” you cleared your throat- “on uh, Saturday I um, I called Andrew.” You sat up and started to grab your clothes, it was almost time to go to that promo shoot you’d mentioned earlier.

“You what?” He asked, confused.

“I woke up with a lot of missed calls for him and, when I went to go take my shower I just called him back and-” you took a breath, realizing you were rambling, Misha was still watching you with the same look of confusion- “I just wanted to know what he wanted. I thought maybe he was going to apologize.”

Misha had also begun to get dressed as what you said sunk in, “But that’s not what he wanted was it?”

“No.”

“What was it then?” Misha’s tone was changing, causing you to feel slightly panicked.

“He wanted me to go back to LA with him,” you wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling vulnerable.

Misha looked at you, starting to catch on a little more. He slightly tilted his head and stepped towards you.

“Y/N,” he began, “Did he-” Misha shook his head, as if he shouldn’t ask- “did he use to- did he use to hit you?” He reached out and put a hand on your shoulder.

“No, he was always a little bit bossy but that was just how he was,” you stopped yourself, you were with Andrew all that time, and you’d never thought that maybe he didn’t quite treat you how you should be treated; and he was a little more than bossy, but you didn’t want to say it. It didn’t matter anyway, he knew what you meant.

“Baby girl that’s still abusive,” Misha suggested. You leaned into him, letting him wrap his arms around you. You weren’t upset, you actually felt numb about it. Andrew had been your only other relationship; so you thought it was all normal. When he’d found you cheating was the first time anything physical had happened.

“We need to get going,” you said as you pulled away from Misha, but he grabbed your arm and spun you back around into him.

“Hey,” he said, “it’s okay now, you know I’ll never treat you that way, right?”

You nodded and reached up to him for a kiss before turning away from him again. You were way too numb for this situation. You should be feeling something. Anything. But you weren’t; and that scared you.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day, you woke up earlier than Misha and left before he did, you needed sometime to think about everything yesterday and you needed to do it alone. On set, you got your hair and makeup done quickly and went to your trailer to sit in that cozy chair you liked, and read your script some more. It felt similar to before you and Misha had gotten together.

You were starting to think that maybe you needed to give yourself some healing time. Especially after realizing that your relationship with Andrew wasn’t as good as you thought it was. You were still feeling numb, to everything, and you had no idea why. Misha’s words from yesterday echoed in the back of your mind. _Baby girl that’s still abusive_. Abusive. You couldn’t get that word out of your mind. You thought about all the times you’d had with Andrew.

You thought all the way back to the night you both made the decision to move to LA together. You were apprehensive about it at first, you didn’t want to leave your friends and family. You weren’t in school and you hadn’t been working, you’d just been staying at Andrew’s apartment. Of course you didn’t regret going, but was it really what you wanted to do? Or had you let him push you to it?

You thought about when you wanted to take an acting class. He didn’t want you to. You remember arguing with him about it for a week before you finally just did it anyway. You never knew why he didn’t want you to, but once you landed your first commercial, he seemed to lighten up a bit.

You thought about his reaction when you told him about your Supernatural contract. He didn’t want you to go. You wondered if it really was because he wanted to finish school or not. Your heart sank a little when you realized that the answer was probably not.

You set your script down, you weren’t as into it as you thought you were. Plus you’d read it tons last night. You opted for staring at the ceiling, curled up in your chair. You didn’t have to film for another hour, so you had plenty of time to do nothing.

Your _do nothing_ time was interrupted by your trailer door swinging open.

“Hey is your phone off or something?” it was Jared, “Misha’s calling everyone freaking out. He said you were gone when you woke up and you haven’t been answering your phone.”

You sighed, “Yeah, I-I have it off. I just needed some time alone.”

“I heard you had a pretty crazy weekend.” He sat down on the couch.

“Yeah, uh, we did.”

“You know you guys are lucky we have good publicists. First sex on an airplane and now jail?”

You laughed thinking about how silly it all was, “Yeah, I guess we are lucky.”

“So whatever happened to that guy? The one that stormed out of here a few weeks ago?” he asked, you were comfortable with Jared so you told him.

You actually unintentionally told him everything. How you were dating Andrew for almost six years and then some stuff with Misha happened, and Andrew caught you, and then you told him about what happened this weekend. Talking about it made you feel a little bit better. It actually helped you process it some. Though you still just wanted to be alone.

By the time you were done talking with Jared, you needed to get to wardrobe and then get to filming.

* * *

You’d managed to avoid Misha all morning, through your fight scene with Jensen, through a makeout scene with Misha. You rushed off set as the scene with Misha ended, not giving him time to ask you what was going on; because truth was that you weren’t sure. You also didn’t know what to say to him right now. You knew that if you told him that’d you’d left early this morning because you needed to be alone, it might hurt him.

When you were done filming for the day, you went to your trailer; to wash your face off and grab your things.

“Y/N?” you heard Misha making his way into your trailer.

“Hey Mish.” you said, stepping out of your tiny bathroom.

“Are you okay babe?” he stepped towards you and brushed a strand of hair out of your face.

“I uh-” you crossed your arms- “yesterday was just a lot.”

Misha nodded, “It was.” he moved his hands up to grab onto your arms, attempting to bring you in for a hug, but you pulled away.

“Misha-” you looked off to the side, trying to avoid eye contact- “I think I just need to be alone for a little while.”

You could see the hurt on his face. Unsure of what to think, he just backed away some, trying to give you a reassuring smile, “I’ll um- you know where to find me.”

You smiled and nodded before he left. You grabbed your things before grabbing a ride home. You had no idea if that was the right thing to do or not.

* * *

Later that night, you found yourself laying in bed alone. You thought it would help with figuring things out and getting over everything with Andrew, but you weren’t so sure. You rolled over in your bed and spotted one of Misha’s shirts on the bed next to you. You grabbed it and held onto it, thinking of how comforting its scent was before tossing it on the floor.

You decided to get up and check the fridge for some wine. Your eyes landed on the bottle of rose, and you smiled. You wasted no time drinking it and before you knew it, you were on your kitchen floor with music blasting, looking through photos on your phone.

You laughed at some of the pictures you took from over weekend. You swiped even further back into your photos, back to your time on set before you had gotten your contract.You had taken a lot of pictures with Misha. That first week on set the two of you were together practically the whole time. Becoming fast friends. You swiped even more, looking at pictures of you and Andrew. When you found one of you and him kissing, you finally decided to close out of your camera roll.

You went to your messages and tapped on Misha’s name. You thought about texting him but instead decided to just call.

“Hey” he answered on the first ring.

_“Hi!”_

“How much wine have you had?” Misha asked.

“I dunno, uh, not enough.”

“Do you need me to come downstairs?” his voice was groggy, you realized you must have woken him up.

“No, I haven even finished this bottle.” why did you call him? You hit your head on the wall behind you to try and knock some sense into yourself.

“Okay, baby girl, please let me know if you need anything, alright?”

You started to tear up, you really couldn’t hold your alcohol. You downed the rest of your glass.

“Misha-” you started to stand up- “I love you, but uh-” you trialed off.

“I love you too, look, I’m coming downstairs, okay?”

“Kay.” you said and hung up, you made your way over to unlock your door.

You sat down on your couch and waited for Misha to come in. After a few seconds you laid down and took in a deep breath. You needed to quit drinking wine. It really wasn’t your friend. Alcohol wasn’t your friend in general.

You door opened and in walked Misha. He walked over to the couch, moved your feet and sat down, placing your feet on his lap. You looked at him before laying your head back on the couch and closing your eyes.

“You wanna talk about it?” He suggested.

You shook your head, you just wanted to lay there.

“You sure? I’ve noticed you only drink this much when you’re overwhelmed,”

“No Misha.” you said, covering your eyes with your hands

“Babe-”

“-No.” your voice cracked.

Misha didn’t say anything else after that, he didn’t know what to say. He knew you were hurting. He had realized that what he pointed out about you and Andrew’s relationship had to have hit you hard. Not to mention the whole thing with Renee. Misha was sure that he freaked you out when he said that he’d always wanted to be a dad.

He waited until you fell asleep before getting up and setting a glass of water and two aspirin on your coffee table, and covering you up with a blanket and going back to his own apartment.

* * *

The next few days went by in a blur. A long confusing blur. You had only been speaking to Misha on set, and even then it was very little. Things were becoming more and more awkward between you and him. Come Friday, you learned you weren’t in the next episode, you looked forward to having the next eight days off.

As you sat at home on Friday night you wondered what you were doing. You didn’t even know how Misha was doing. He tried to call you a few times a day but mostly he gave you your space. Which you were grateful for, but you were starting to feel like maybe avoiding him was the wrong thing to do. You finally decided to text him.

Y/N: _Hey, can we talk?_

You waited a few minutes but didn’t get an answer. You decided that maybe you should just go upstairs. You slipped on a sweatshirt over your tank top and made your way to the apartment above yours. You tried to open the door, but it was locked. You gave it a knock and waited. A couple minutes passed, still no answer, you check your phone, maybe he had texted you back, but nothing. Just as you were getting ready to leave, the door opened.

“Misha,” you began, “can we talk, please?”

He stood there in the doorway, his arms crossed.

“Y/N, I don’t know.”

You shook your head, confused.

“Look, I’m sorry I know I shouldn’t have pushed you away th-”

“-Y/N I think it’s best that for now we just-” he took a deep breath- “I think we should just, do our own thing for now.”

Your heart sank, “Wh-what do you mean?”

He reached out and took your hand, looking at you apologetically, “I think we should break up for awhile.”

You looked down at his grasp on your hand. You weren’t sure what to think, you pulled away and started making your way back downstairs.

_Break up._ He didn’t even try to stop you when you pulled away. As you walked down the hallway and down the stairs to your apartment, your breathing got heavier and heavier. You felt tears stinging your eyes. When you got back to your apartment you couldn’t even make it to your room. You sank down on the floor right inside your door and started crying. You messed up. You shouldn’t have ignored him.

You were sobbing on the floor as you picked up your phone looking through it to try and find someone to talk to. This was the worst possible time for you to be alone, you were off for an entire week and you felt like you had no one.

You stopped scrolling when you landed on Andrew’s name. You really shouldn’t. You tried to think of all of the reasons that you shouldn’t call him but you just needed to talk to someone. At this point you felt like you had already ruined everything and it didn’t matter anyway. Misha had practically brushed you off. He didn’t call you baby girl, or tell you that he loved you. He didn’t tell you that it was okay now, or that he was never going to get tired of you.

You tried to take a deep breath as you hit the call button next to Andrew’s name. It rang once before he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Andrew-” you were sobbing in between words- “I-I Misha, he-”

“-Y/N? What’s going on?”

You tried to talk but all you could get out was sobs.

“Please stop crying, _shit_.” he paused for a moment, “I’ll be there tomorrow, okay?”

You mumbled out a breathless okay. Before hanging up. You didn’t know what was right or wrong right now. You finally were able to peel yourself off of the floor and make your way to your couch, where you cried yourself to sleep. 


	15. Chapter 15

You woke up the next morning to someone pounding on your door. You got up off the couch and made your way over and opened it. You were greeted by Andrew. He must have flown in from LA last night. You tucked away all of your heartache as your arms flew up and around this neck. Trying to forget everything that’s happened since December.

“Well hello to you too.” he said,

“Hi, I’m sorry-” you kissed his cheek- “but hi.”

You didn’t loosen your hold around his neck, you were happy to see him. He stepped forward into your apartment and set his bag down so that he was able to wrap his arms around your waist.

You pulled away to look at him, but staying in his arms, “I’m sorry, for everything.”

“ _Hey_ , you don’t need to apologize.” assured you.

You sighed as you leaned back into him, taking in his scent, his touch, everything. You missed all of it. He still felt like home.

As of right now you didn’t know where you and Misha were headed. He did say you were breaking up only for a while; but you’d seen movies, you knew how those stories ended. For now, Andrew was here. He was with you, and for all you knew, this had just been a bump in the road for you two.

You looked up at Andrew, into his eyes. They were brown, a deep dark brown. You’d always loved his eyes. Though right now they were darker than usual. You knew what that meant.

_“Andrew-”_ you whispered,

“I know.”

He brought a hand up to cup your face and brought your lips to his. You were hesitant at first, but you quickly melted into him. You pulled him into you even closer as you began walking backwards until the back of your knees hit the couch. You spun around and pushed him down, putting your legs on either side of him. You grinded down on him, putting a hand on his chest before breaking the kiss.

“You sure?” he asked you, you laughed. It reminded you of your first time with him years ago.

You nodded and dove down to bite his neck.

* * *

An hour later you were laying in bed with Andrew, still naked and laying against him when you heard someone at your door, again. You jumped up and reached for your shirt when you heard someone knocking. _Who the hell?_ You thought. You slid on a pair of shorts and went to answer the door.

Misha was standing there as you swung the door open. Looking at you, completely heart broken.

_Shit._

_Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Please Don’t say it._

“Y/N-” he choked up as he spoke- “I made a mistake.” _Fuck. He said it._

You looked behind you and stepped out of the apartment, closing the door behind you.

“Misha, I-”

“-I love you, I’m sorry.”

He leaned down to kiss you, stopping when he noticed your shirt.

“Whose shirt is that?” he asked. You looked down, realizing that you were in Andrew’s t-shirt, which also smelled very much of Andrew.

“Mine,” you lied, looking to the side and crossing your arms.

Misha stood up straight and looked at you, you were a bad liar.

“Y/N-” he shifted his weight- “Do you- do you have someone in there?” He realized that you stepping out and closing your door behind you wasn’t normal.

You looked at him, not wanting to lie, but also not wanting him to know that you did in fact have someone in there, not just someone, but your ex; that he’s gotten arrested over.

You looked down at the floor, “I’m sorry.” you whispered as you broke down. You couldn’t control your emotions anymore and you began sobbing.

“Y/N, who’s in there?” you shook your head, you couldn’t tell him, “Is it Andrew?”

You looked Misha in the eye and nodded, more tears spilling over.

He stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say, “Less than twenty-four hours and you’re already _fucking_ your ex?”

“Misha, I-” you reached out to touch his arm but he pulled away, looking at you, disgusted.

“I thought you loved me Y/N,”

“I d-do love you-” you tried to argue.

“-No. You know I-I came down here because I thought I made a mistake,” he shouted, “but apparently I didn’t.”

“Mis-”

“-Goodbye Y/N.” he stormed off before you had the chance to say anything else.

_What have I done?_ You thought. You fell back against the door and turned the knob, practically falling back into your apartment. It felt like you had just been ripped in half. The room was spinning and you felt like screaming. Andrew came running to you to try and comfort you, but you just ran to your bathroom, locking the door behind you. You sat against the door as you tried to calm yourself. You could tell that Andrew was sitting on the other side, patiently waiting for you to talk to him.

When your crying finally calmed down, Andrew knocked on the door lightly.

“Y/N, do you want me to leave?”

You thought about it for a moment.

“Yes.” you choked out. Your voice was tired. You didn’t hear Andrew answer you.

A few moments later you heard your door open and close. Tears fell down your face once more as you felt alone again. You screwed things up with Andrew, you definitely fucked things up with Misha, and now you were truly alone.

You made yourself get up. Avoiding your bedroom, you went straight for your couch. You picked up your phone. _2 new messages_. You rolled your eyes and opened the first one up. It was from Andrew.

Andrew: _Pls never call me ever again._

That hurt. Even more tears spilled over as you stared at that text. You knew that this was it with Andrew. You were done with him for good. You held your breath as you finally blocked his number.

The next text was from Jared. That was surprising. You didn’t typically talk to him outside of work.

Jared: _Forget about Chicago?_

You made a face at his text. Chicago? What was he talking about? Then it hit you. ChiCon was this weekend. You were supposed to be there.

Y/N: _Yeah I did, I’m on my way now._

You jumped up to shower and pack. This weekend was going to be a long one, again. You remembered that Jen was supposed to be there, at least you’d have that to look forward to. You were getting ready to get in the shower when your phone buzzed.

Jared: _And Misha?_

Your heart sank when you read his name. You tried to hold back tears, but it was still too difficult.

Y/N: _idk. We broke up yesterday. You’ll have to call him._

You stared at the text you just typed out longer than you should have.

Jared: _Shit, sorry Y/N. don’t worry. I’ll call him._

You got in the shower, letting the hot water comfort you.

* * *

You got to Chicago late that night, and made your way straight for the hotel. You were tired, and you had a panel first thing in the morning. You were thankful that you didn’t have one with Misha. Seeing the hotel all set up for the convention helped lighten your mood a bit. Maybe you could have some fun, get your mind off this mess for awhile.

You got checked in and went straight up to your room. You plopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Trying to not think of everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours, but you couldn’t help it. Not knowing where your head or your heart was, you picked up your phone again. You scrolled through your contacts, trying to find someone to talk to. You had thought about the fact that for the last six years, you’d been in a relationship. There was always someone there; but now, there was no one.

Jen was going to be there in the morning, she was bringing one of her friends. So you decided not to bother her. You thought about calling your brother, he lived just a couple of hours south of Chicago, but decided against it. You didn’t want to talk to your mom, she still didn’t know the whole story of how you cheated on Andrew and blah blah blah, so you checked her off the list as well.

But then your thoughts wandered to Jared. You had told him everything. He knew how you and Misha really got together. He knew the real reason Misha was arrested. You tapped on your phone’s lock screen for a moment, thinking of what you’d say.

Y/N: _Are you at chicon yet?_

That was simple enough. You thought. You also thought that you didn’t know what the hell you were doing. What were your intentions? You just needed someone to talk to, that was it. Your phone buzzed.

Jared: _not yet, be there sunday. Whats up?_

Y/N: _I just, kinda needed someone to talk to. Rough couple of days._

You laid your phone on your chest as you waited. Why did this make you so nervous? You worked with Jared for chuck’s sake. You saw him nearly everyday.

Jared: _you wanna call?_

Did you? You thought about it for a second. Your heart was racing. Would that be weird? Talking on the phone with Jared? You went back and forth for a minute when your phone started buzzing, Jared’s name lighting up the screen. You answered.

“Hey Jared,” you said, apparently your voice was still shaky.

“Hey, you alright?” he was so nice, you hated him for it sometimes.

“Uhh, n-not really.” You tried to keep it together, you really didn’t need to lose it on the phone.

“Tell me what happened? I’m not busy right now.”

“Well, you know how like all week I was avoiding Misha and well I went to talk to him last night and he just, broke up with me.” you felt tears sting your eyes again when you said it out loud.

“That’s not like him, he really loves you, Y/N.” Jared sounded so concerned for you, it was strangely calming.

“I know, I just, I called Andrew after he did it-”

“-Oh, no, Y/N,-”

“-I know, and he showed up this morning and I uh, I slept with him.” you were starting to cry as the images replayed in your head, “and then Misha came down, saying he made a mistake and he figured it out.”

“Are you alone right now?” Jared asked.

“Mhmm” was all you could get out. You were kind of embarrassed too. Losing yourself like this while on the phone with Jared. He probably didn’t even care about how you felt.

“I uh, we don’t film tomorrow. I could fly down a day early if you need someone there with you.” He suggested, “You really shouldn’t be alone right now,”

“Uh-sure” you mumbled, you cleared your throat, “um, I have a panel in the morning, I-I don’t think I can do it.”

“I’ll see if someone has one later in the day they can trade with you, get some sleep Y/N. Okay?”

“Kay, Jare. See you tomorrow.” you got out before hanging up. His voice was really calming.

You were still just laying there whenever you got off the phone. Being away from Vancouver was helping some. Your phone buzzed again.

Jared: _Ruhtie’s gonna switch with you, your panel will be at 7pm_

You sighed, relieved. That would give you some time to calm down a little more; to figure out what you were going to tell fans.

Y/N: _Thank you jare. For everything_

Jared: _You can make up for it tomorrow. :)_

_What. The. Hell._ you thought. What did that mean? You didn’t answer. You sat up on the bed and tried to think of what that text could have meant. Maybe you were over thinking it. But that was definitely flirty. Why would he have said that? And a smiley face?!

Your stomach was doing flips as you tried to gather your thoughts. Your head was all over the place as you tried to figure out Jared’s text. You started breathing heavily, still thinking of everything that had happened. You tried to think of the last couple of months, all the good times you’d had, with being on the show, with gaining fans, people really liked you. You closed your eyes, going back to a time where things were easy. Everything right now was so overwhelming. You obviously couldn’t control your emotions. You didn’t even love Andrew anymore. So why did you always go back to him when things were going south? You knew you wouldn’t go to him again. You had blocked him on everything you could think of.

You stood up and started rummaging through your bag for something to wear. You were going out. You were going to go make things right.

You loved Misha, and only Misha. Hopefully it wasn’t too late.


	16. Chapter 16

“He’s not here, Miss Y/L/N”, the person at the front desk told you.

“What do you mean he’s not here?” you questioned him, rolling your eyes.

“He checked in earlier, but he left shortly after.”

_Great._

You spun around and walked off, annoyed. Where could Misha have gone? It wasn’t like him to run off during conventions. Even though it was Friday night, he should still be here. You were lucky enough not to run into anyone, all the fans were probably off at whatever was going on, you didn’t even know at this point. All you knew is that you had a panel tomorrow.

You walked out the doors of the hotel and looked around; using every ounce of brainpower you had. _A bar maybe?_ You looked down the street and saw a bar that was maybe a block away. You made your way down the street, almost certain that he’d be in there.

When you arrived in the bar you marched straight inside, scanning all of the tables for Misha. Of course, was nowhere to be seen. When you turned around to walk out you saw some people wearing Supernatural shirts heading towards the door; so you decided to slip out the back. _A dark alley. Cool,_ you thought. You stood in the cool air for a minute, taking in some deep breaths. Compared to Canada it was pretty warm there. You were enjoying the cool air hitting your face for a moment when you heard someone hurling.

Your eyes shot open and you looked around, thinking it was just some old homeless drunk. You spotted someone leaning next to a dumpster and decided to step forward.

“M-misha?” you asked. It was. It was Misha, completely drunk, in a dark alley, throwing up.

He looked up at you, and quickly looked away, acting like he didn’t hear you.

“Misha, come on, get up-” you grabbed his arm and pulled him off the ground. You gagged when the smell of vomit filled your nose- “Okay. You’re getting a bath.”

You practically drug the man back to your hotel room. When you opened the door to your room, Misha had his arm around your shoulders, hanging on for dear life. He made a gagging noise and you helped rush him into the bathroom. Luckily, he made it into the trash can.

You ran your fingers through his hair absentmindedly as you sat on the edge of the tub.

“Okay-” you took in a deep breath- “bath or shower?”

He somehow manages the word _bath_ as he continued project the contents of his stomach into the garbage. You leaned back and started the bath before sliding Misha’s jacket off. Gently turning him and tugging on the bottom of his shirt.

His throwing up finally slowed enough for him to talk, “What do you think you’re doing?” he slurred at you.

“Helping you.” you said as you lifted his shirt up over his head.

“I think you’ve helped enough.”

“Well I could’ve let you puke all over yourself in that dark alley and let you freeze.” you suggested, earning a look from Misha. He knew you were right, but he would never admit it in his drunken state.

“I love you you know,” he slurred, you stayed silent, just to see what he’d say, “like I’m really in love with you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone ever.” His voice broke, _so now I know he cries when he’s drunk,_ you noted.

You felt awful. This was all your fault.

“I’m so sorry Misha,” you said, helping him into the bath tub.

“You know,” he started again, “when you got all distant this week, I got it, I understood.” Tears were streaming down his face at this point, very drunk tears, “but you acted like you didn’t even love me anymore.”

You remained quiet as you helped him clean up. You didn’t want to say anything to upset him, and by the way things were going; anything could easily upset him.

“I thought breaking up was the answer, but then I realized that _I_ made a mistake.” he said.

“It’s okay-”

“-and _then_ , you slept with w-with _that guy_ and, and then I realized you _don’t_ love me.”

That one hurt. You did love Misha. The truth was, you loved him just as much as he loved you. You were just, damaged. You felt broken. Maybe you just didn’t know how to be in a normal relationship. Tears fell down your face as you helped Misha up and handed him his boxers before helping him to the other bed in your room.

You pulled the blankets back for him and helped him lay down. You were trying your hardest not to let him see you cry. You still felt like you did this to him. Like you didn’t deserve to cry. You moved over to your bed and sat down, leaning on the headboard.

“And when Renee told me about her abortion,” your heart sank when he started again, you were hoping he was done, “yeah I was hurt but then I realized I wanted that with you-”

“An abortion?!” you blurted out, looking over at him and making eye contact.

“A _baby_.”

Oh. _Oh_. Misha wanted a baby with you? How much did he drink? You were grateful he probably would remember any of this in the morning.

“But your ex?” his voice was clearing up now, the alcohol must’ve been wearing off, “you always seem to be calling him, and texting him, and kissing him, and now fucking him. So I don’t know what to do.”

Tears started rolling down your face again. You were glad you had two beds in your room, that way you were able to just slide down and roll over. You blocked out anything else Misha said, pulling a pillow up and wrapping it around the back of your head. And once again, you cried yourself to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, you woke up before Misha You grabbed some aspirin and grabbed a bottle of water out of the mini fridge and set it next to the nightstand next to him. You still had to take care of him. You loved him, and you owed him. There isn’t anything you wouldn’t do for him. Even though you could hardly look at him right now.

He woke up sometime while you were ordering breakfast.

Sitting up in his bed, he looked over at the aspirin, and downed them with the bottle of water.

“Where are my clothes?” he asked, he was still in just his boxers.

“In the bathroom, covered in puke.” you told him.

“Oh, right.”

You sighed and stood up. This was awkward. You wondered if he remembered anything he’d said to you the night before. You were still pretty upset by it all. Misha groaned and rubbed his temples, falling back on the bed.

“You got pretty wasted last night,” you mentioned.

“I know.” He said, covering his face up with a pillow. You opened your mouth to say something when you heard a knock on the door.

“Breakfast must be here.” you said as you got up and stepped outside, surprised when you were greeted by Jared.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi-” you stepped out of the room and closed the door- “Um, Misha’s in there, I found him in pretty rough shape outside of a bar last night.”

“Oh, so, are you guys?-”

“-No.”

You crossed your arms and Jared put his hands in his pockets, “Well, I’m just down the hall-” he put his hand on your arm- “if you need anything, you have my number. I can tell you’re busy.”

You smiled at him and stepped back in your room. Misha was still laying in bed.

“You have a panel in an hour Mish, you should get ready.” you stood at the foot of his bed, arms still crossed, avoiding eye contact with him. He stretched and sat up.

“Kay, uh, I’m gonna take a shower-” he looked around- “here I guess, since I have no clothes.”

“I can go grab some clothes from your room if you want.”

“Sure, they key’s in my pants-” he stood up and stretched- “was that breakfast?”

“No, it was Jared, he was just wondering where you were at.”

He nodded as you walked into the bathroom and grabbed the key card, and giving Misha a wave before leaving the room. As you made your way down the hallway, you were met by Jared again. He could see the sadness in your eyes, even though you tried to hide it.

“Y/N, are you alright?” he asked you. You crossed your arms again and looked up at him, and shook your head-

“Not really.”

Jared stepped even closer to you, probably closer than he should’ve, “I-uh, I feel really bad for you…I-I know how you feel about Misha..” he trailed off, looking down at the floor nervously.

“Jared, what is it?” you could tell he was on edge about something, which you couldn’t handle right now. And that’s when you regretted asking. Because he leaned down and kissed you. _What the fuck?_ You pulled away from him, shocked, and not wanting to make more of a mess with Misha.

“Y/N,” he started, “Sorry, I uh, I just haven’t been able to stop thinking about you-”

“-just stop..please” you butted in, before walking away.

You made your way towards Misha’s room, with your head down.

_Fuck._ What if someone saw that? Where did those feelings even come from? This was going to make work awkward. You thought Jared was your friend. Maybe in a world where things were different, maybe if you and Misha weren’t a big mess right now.

As you entered Misha’s room and found his bag, you began rummaging through, grabbing clean clothes for him. As you pulled his pants out of the bag a small box fell out. Bending over and picking it up, your heart stopped. You opened it up and in the top of the box it read I promise… and beneath that was a small, silver band with a heart shaped diamond on it. Your eyes widened. Misha had bought you a ring. It wasn’t an engagement ring by any means; but it was definitely a ring that meant something. You quickly closed the small box and shoved it back into Misha’s bag. You couldn’t help but think of how badly you fucked up.

With tears coming to surface once more you made your way back to your room, when you walked in, you noticed that breakfast had arrived, Misha must have signed for it. You set the clothes down on his bed before sitting down on your own, staring blankly at the wall as you thought about the ring you’d just found. And the fact that Jared just made a huge move on you.

You looked up when Misha walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. You couldn’t help but stare at him, the man was perfect. He cleared his throat, breaking your train of thought.

“Uhh, sorry” you said.

“It’s okay,” he chuckled out.

You stood up, deciding maybe you should take a shower as well. You made your way to the bathroom, but Misha stopped you.

“Wait-” he grabbed your arm- “I, um, I shouldn’t have said, well anything that I said last night.”

You had a sinking feeling knowing that he remembered, “It’s okay Misha, I deserved it.”  You looked down at the floor, hiding that you were getting ready to cry again.

_“Hey-”_ he tried to get you to look at him but you just pulled away. For the first time he saw just how badly you felt about everything. When you tried to go and lock yourself in the bathroom he came after you, still wrapped in the towel; and grabbed your hand, spinning you around into him.

Still holding his towel up, he took his free hand and brought it to your face. Stroking your cheek with his thumb gently. Looking into your sad, heartbroken eyes. He moved down slowly and pressed his lips into yours. Your response was instantaneous. You melted into him effortlessly. This was what you wanted. You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Within seconds he’d forgotten about holding the towel up, and had his arms around your waist.

He had started backing you up to his bed while he began fumbling with your pants. Your hands went for the bottom of your shirt and pulled it over your head, falling back onto Misha’s bed while your lips were apart. Noticing that he already had an erection as he came down to lay on top of you. Crashing his lips back into yours.

_“Pants.”_ you breathed out against his lips, he backed away a little bit only to pull them and your panties down before landing back on top of you. Your movements were rough, desperate. You needed each other. Your fingers found themselves tangled in his hair as he finally guided his cock to your entrance; his mouth sucking on your neck.

You both let out a loud and relieved moan as he thrusted into you, fast. He wasted no time with getting a rather fast pace going. You missed him, you missed the way he felt inside of you; the way his body felt when it moved against yours. You leaned up to bit his neck when he pulled out of you, grabbing your wrist,

_“Turn over, on your hands and knees.”_ he ordered you, you did as he said. You felt him grab onto your hips tightly, practically digging his fingers in as he slammed himself back into you. His pace once again fast and hard. He was taking everything out on you. Every ounce of pain and sadness; and you were letting him. If this was hate sex, you wanted more. If this was makeup sex, you wanted more. You didn’t care what it was. It felt amazing and you only wanted it with Misha.

He filled you to the brim with every thrust until you were screaming his name as you came. Your walls spasming around him, unable to hold yourself up. He placed a hand on your lower back and pushed you down onto your belly, continuing to fuck you into the mattress. He moved his hand up to grab a fist full of hair, earning more moans from you.

_“Fuck baby girl..”_ he moaned as his thrusts began to slow as be came hard inside of you. His own moans filling the room. You opened your eyes, noticing the clock on the nightstand.

“Misha-” he pulled out of you and you rolled onto you back- “your panel.”

He looked up at the clock and started grabbing his clothes as you laid there trying to catch your breath. He tossed your pants at you, “Come with.”

You sat up in the bed, “I have to shower..uh, I’ll come crash it in a few?”

He smiled at you before leaning over and kissing you- “I’ll be waiting.”

You laid back for a moment when he left the room. Where you and Misha back together? He definitely didn’t seem to regret that. You didn’t regret it either. You smiled to yourself as you got up and hopped in the shower.

* * *

Later that evening, just before your panel, you were in the green room hanging out with the cast. You’d let your sister come back there and meet everyone. You even got to hang out with cast that you hadn’t met yet.

You and Misha had been together most of the day, though you still hadn’t talked about where you stood as a couple. But judging by the way the two of you were all over each other any chance you got, and had gotten back into the rhythm of saying _I love you_ , you’d say things were looking up.

You were getting more and more excited as it was almost time for your panel, that is, until Jensen pulled you aside, just behind stage before you were getting ready to walk out.

“Do you know what’s going on with Jared?” he asked you.

“I uh- why?”

“The way he’s been looking at you all day?”

You shoulders slumped as you felt bad about earlier, when he’d kissed you.

“Um, well, he uh- he kissed me earlier.” you said nervously as you rubbed the back of your neck. You trusted Jensen with this information. It’s not like he was going to go off and spread rumors. He gave you a strange look before looking behind you. Someone heard that.

You turned around, Misha was standing right behind you.

“You um- left that out.” Misha said.

“Misha, I-” but you were interrupted by Rich pulling you up on stage. You looked back, but Misha walked away. Jensen flashed you an apologetic look and mouthed _sorry_ , before you were thrown into your panel.


	17. Chapter 17

After your panel, you found yourself back in your room, trying to figure out what to do. Misha had seemingly disappeared again, and you’d been calling him non stop. You were relieved when you looked at your schedule to see that he was doing his photo ops; and hoped that he would call you after. Until then, you weren’t going anywhere. You didn’t want to talk to anyone but Misha.

You laid in bed and tried to take your mind off of everything, flipping through tv channels. You stopped on a channel that was playing reruns of Supernatural. They were showing your first episode. It was weird seeing yourself on tv, you never quite knew how to react to it. Your phone finally buzzed and you looked at it, happy to see that it was a text from Misha.

Misha: _I’ll be up soon, we can talk._

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding in as you set your phone back down. You just needed something good to happen. You thought about the ring you’d found earlier in Misha’s bag. Was it really for you? Did he really feel that strongly for you? Of course he’d told you when he was drunk that he’s loved you more than anyone. But he also basically called you a slut. So what he said when he was under the influence, could’ve meant nothing. Even the thing about having a baby.

You jumped when the door opened. You forgot that you’d given Misha a key card. He had his bags with him, so that was a good sign.

He sat down on the bed next to where you were lying and put his hand on the back of your head. You scooted over and put your head in his lap.

“I know, we were busy, you didn’t have time to tell me.” he told you, running his fingers through your hair.

“I didn’t kiss him back, if that helps.” you said, your voice cracking slightly. You rolled your eyes at yourself. You were tired of crying.

He laughed a little bit as you snuggled into him more.

“It does help I suppose.”

Misha reached into his jacket pocket, and pulled out a small box. The box you’d seen earlier. You looked up at him, and then sat up.

“Y/N, I’d um, I’d like to think we’re back together?” he asked you, you nodded without hesitation. This had quite honestly been one of the worst weekends of your life.

“Then I wanted to give you this-” he opened up the box to reveal the beautiful little ring- “It’s not an engagement ring, so don’t panic.” he smiled as you took it out of the the box, “This is basically, my way of saying that I am interested in spending the rest of my life with you.”

You blushed as you slid the ring on your finger, and admired it. It really was beautiful.

“I am interested in spending the rest of my life with you as well.” you smiled at him and leaned over to kiss him.

You and Misha leaned back and laid there, you were happy he wasn’t mad anymore, you didn’t think you could handle it.

“I don’t wanna fight with you anymore.”  he told you as he pulled you up ontop of him. You sat on him and rubbed his chest, pushing his jacket over his shoulders and sliding your hands up his shirt.

“I don’t wanna fight either.” You told him as you leaned down and kissed him.

“What do you say we get out of here early?” he asked with your lips still against his.

“You wanna fly back home tonight?” you sat back up.

Misha just smiled at you and nodded.

“Well what about the rest of the convention?”

“There’s only one day left, why not?” he leaned up and nuzzled his face into your neck, latching on and sucking in your sweet spot.

“ _Oo_ okay-” you hopped off of him- “Let me say goodbye to my sister and we’ll go.”

* * *

_“Mmmm, Misha-ahhh”_ you moaned as you woke up, feeling Misha between your legs under the covers, sucking on your clit. You felt his hand move up and squeeze one of your breasts, your hand moving to to grab onto his arm.

You’d flown in quite late last night and didn’t get much sleeping done. You and Misha were too busy making up for lost time. Even though it was really only a week. It felt like a long time.

You were coming hard within seconds of waking up, then surprised by Misha moving up quickly and slamming his rock hard cock into you. It was a move he’d seemed to perfect, and one of your favorites. You almost came again at the sound of him groaning as he pounded into you, his kisses tasting of your juices and coffee, no wonder he was so awake and ready. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck and held on as your second orgasm pushed you over the edge.

_“Fuck, Mishaa”_ you breathed out, his speed picking up.

_“I love it when you come on my cock like that”_ He whispered to you as he bit down on your neck.

Without warning he flipped over, bringing you with him so that you were now on top of him. You sat up on him and grinded down on him hard and started swiveling your hips so that he bottomed out inside of you. His head flew back as you continued that damn swiveling that sent him over the edge every time.

_“Fuck baby girl…gonna, make..come-ugghah”_ He moaned as he bucked his hips up and spilled his hot seed inside of you. You bit your bottom lip as you rode him through it, before falling down onto the bed next to him.

As you both laid there on your backs to catch your breath, you looked over at him, taking in his features. You reached over and pulled him to face you so that you could kiss him.

“Good morning,” you said against his lips.

“It’s actually almost one.” he responded.

You pulled back and decided to get up- “I’m gonna take a shower, join?”

He shook his head, “I don’t think I can, after..last night.”

You winked at him and made your way to the bathroom.

As you waited for the shower to warm up you decided to turn your phone on. You’d received countless calls and texts from everyone asking why you and Misha had left. Including apologies from Jensen from getting you in trouble and apologies from Jared, for making a move on you in the first place. You texted everyone and said that things were fine with you and Misha, and that you guys just needed some alone time after everything that’d happened.

Just as you were about to get in the shower you opened the door so that you could talk to Misha.

“Hey are you working this week?” you asked him

“Just Thursday and Friday,” he answered.

“We should do something,” you suggested.

“Like have sex all day?” he joked, you heard him walking into the bathroom.

“Well like besides that,” you smiled at him as you poked your head out of the shower curtain to kiss him.

“Wanna go somewhere?” he asked as you went back into the shower.

“Like where?”

“I don’t know, where do you wanna go?”

“Well, it takes a hundred years to fly anywhere from here-” you shut the water off and reached for a towel- “so why don’t we move your stuff from upstairs. Bring it down here.”

Misha shrugged, “Is that really what you wanna do on your week off?”

“Yes, it is-” you wrapped the towel around yourself and made your way back to your room to get dressed- “Besides, I um, I think I’m getting sick. That or all this fucking isn’t agreeing with me.”

He pretended to be offended as he went to grab a shirt- “You don’t wanna fuck anymore?” Then he quickly switched to using his puppy dog eyes.

You rolled your eyes and finished getting ready for the day, even though all you were in the mood to do was go back to bed. Maybe staying up all night wasn’t such a good idea.

“Babe, you wanna go out for lunch?” you asked Misha.

“Whatever you wanna do, beautiful-” he kissed you on the cheek as he made he way for the door- “I have to run upstairs real quick, I’ll meet you outside?”

You nodded and sat down to put your shoes on. Your phone rang as you stood up, it was Jen.

“Hey sis, what’s up?”

She was crying, which caused your heart to sink, “Dad, he um, he had a heartattack”

“What?” You rushed out of your apartment to go find Misha.

  
“M-mom just called me and said to call you, I’m getting ready to fly home soon.”

“O-okay-” you felt tears welling up- “do you know anything else? Is he okay?” you asked her.

“I have no idea, mom said they don’t know anything yet, I-I guess it just happened.”

“Fuck, okay Jen, I-um, I’ll take the first flight out, love you.”

You went straight upstairs to Misha’s apartment while booking a flight on your phone. You let yourself in.

“Misha,” you called

“Yeah?” you heard him from his bedroom.

“I have to go home.”

He heard the panic in your voice and rushed out to the living room.

“What happened?”

There were tears streaming down your face as you tried to form words.

“M-my Dad, he h-had a heart attack and I have to go-” you turned to walk out of Misha’s apartment but he stopped you.

“Y/N, I’m coming with you, go pack a bag, I’ll grab my things-” he brought you in close to try and calm you down for a minute- “hey, we’re going, we’ll be there tonight, it’s okay.”

You took a few deep breaths in his arms before pulling away. You were trying your hardest to calm down but you’d been crying and shaking uncontrollably.

* * *

The flight home was probably the longest flight you’d ever taken in your life. The drive from the airport to the hospital your dad was at taking even longer. Jen had been sending you updates on your way there, so far all you knew was that your dad was currently in surgery.

Misha was wonderful, staying by your side the entire time, holding you, holding your hand, offering any comfort that he could. As you pulled up to the hospital you got a text asking if you were almost there. You said you were pulling up, and as soon as you got there you jumped out of the car, making your way to where your family was while Misha parked the car.

You found the waiting room that your mom, sister, and brother were in and walked in. As soon as your eyes landed on them you noticed the doctor that was there standing in front of your mom, you could see the expression on your moms face change from hopeful to broken. It was almost as if it was all happening in slow motion, like a movie. You stood still as you watched your sister lean over in her seat and your brother stand up and hug your mom.

You walked forward just as the doctor walked out of the room, hugging your mom, and then Jen, then Derek. You all had just been standing there holding each other for a while, you didn’t need to hear what the doctor said to know what happened. Your dad didn’t make it.

You opened your eyes to see Misha standing in the doorway to the waiting room. By the look on his face, he figured it out. You motioned for him to come over, melting in his arms. No one knew what to do right now. Not to mention that you felt awful. You should have been there sooner. Your family was close and you’d been nothing but distant for the last few months.

For the first time since you started acting on Supernatural, you considered coming home.


	18. Chapter 18

The next week drug by very slowly. You spent it with your family, Misha was there until he had to get back to Vancouver for filming. You had to get back soon yourself. Going back to Vancouver was not what you wanted to do. You wanted to stay. But you were in the next episode, and this wasn’t a job you could just stop showing up to one day. Your mom assured both you and your brother that it was okay for you guys to go back home. You were really proud of her, she’d been so strong through all of this.

You were happy to get home to Misha, you were so tired and you just needed to sleep. This week was one week you quite honestly would like to forget. Not having slept much due to being without Misha for the last few days, you just wanted to snuggle up with him in bed.

It was early Monday morning when things started to feel slightly normal. You and Misha were both up before the sun, moving around each other as you both got ready for work. You were brushing your teeth in front of the bathroom mirror while Misha was in the shower when you started to feel funny.

“I think I’m getting sick.” you said with a toothbrush in your mouth.

“You said that last week, babe.” he mentioned as he shut off the water.

You shrugged, “I know, I just- I don’t know. I feel..just really tired and I haven’t been able to eat much without feeling queasy.”

“I know a good doctor here in Vancouver if you think it’s the flu or something.” Misha stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, earning a look from you.

“We don’t have time.” you reminded yourself.

Misha shook his head, laughing at you as he leaned into kiss you.

“You’re cute, and I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said as he made his way out of the bathroom, slapping your ass as he walked by you.

* * *

On your way to set, you had started coughing and sneezing. According to Misha, your sneezes were adorable, but all that earned him was death glares from you.

Come mid-day, you had a few hours to kill and decided you needed to go see that doctor Misha told you about, you’d acquired a fever and the chills as well, and you had to do something. You went by yourself as Misha was still filming. You had a long history of hating doctors. You weren’t sure what it was, the creepy waiting rooms, getting your temperature taken by the nurses, or the forced niceness of the doctor himself. Not to mention any time you went anywhere now, you heard _hey you’re on that tv show aren’t you?_ Which normally you didn’t mind, but being sick made you, well, bitchy.

You finally got to go back to set after being told you have the flu, with some major over tiredness from stress. You wished so badly that they could just hand you a prescription and send you on your way.

When you got back to set you went straight to Misha’s trailer, his had a bed, and you needed a nap with the hour you’d had left before you had to get fixed up and filming again.

* * *

You woke up to Misha shaking you by your foot, trying to get you up. The second you sat up, it hit you. You were going to throw up. You bolted for the bathroom, practically knocking Misha over on the way, and spent the next ten minutes praying to the porcelain gods.

“I’d rather be throwing up from being drunk.” you moaned as you were finally able to peel yourself up off of the floor.

“So what’d the doctor say?” Misha asked you as he handed you a bottle of water.

“Flu. Oh, and I’m stressed.” You sat down and rubbed your eyes.

“Are you really that stressed baby girl?” he looked at you with worried eyes.

You looked up at him slowly, feeling the sickness shove any ounce of kindness you had left out the door.

“Am I _that_ stressed? We just broke up and got back together, Chicago was a fucking disaster, and-” your voice cracked and tears welled up, spilling over immediately- “and m-my dad just fucking died.”

You were sobbing within a split second. Misha was by your side just as quickly on the couch and held you.

“I’m sorry, I-I wasn’t thinking.” he apologized.

“I can’t do a-anymore today.”

“I’ll go tell them okay? Go get your stuff and I’ll give you a ride home, I’m done for today.”

You nodded as Misha got up to walk out of the trailer. You didn’t mean to snap on him. Your phone buzzed as you went to lie down. You had gotten a text from an unknown number.

????: _Hey, Y/N it’s Andrew-_

There was more to the message but you opted for not reading it, and throwing your phone across the trailer yelling _fuck off_ at the air.

You weren’t falling for that again. You didn’t have the patience anymore. Misha was taking too long for your liking, so you decided to go back and lay down in the bed.

* * *

**2 weeks later**

It was the beginning of March, and the last week of filming for the season. Luckily, the flu had subsided. However, emotionally, you weren’t doing all that well. You hadn’t had an episode since the week you were sick, and you were only in a few scenes for the finale. You’d spent most of that time in bed.

Your mornings were beginning with Misha rubbing your back, trying to get you up. You’d groan when he opened the curtains. You didn’t mind him being there with you, you just didn’t want to get up. You would shower occasionally, accept a cup of coffee here and there. Misha could get you to eat something if he _really_ tried.

You called your mom a few times, and you really did try to talk to Misha, but it seemed that your dad passing away triggered something in you. Something dark. Whenever Misha was asleep or at work, you found yourself spiking your drinks. No matter the time of day or night. It had occurred to you that you might need help, but at this point you really didn’t care.

When you were alone in the apartment that Misha had now completely moved into, you’d spend several minutes staring at the ring he’d bought you. You’d sometimes find yourself zoning out while staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. In the past few weeks you’d somehow lost yourself, and you quite honestly didn’t feel like coming back.

Though you thought you could avoid it forever, Misha had recognized all the signs. You’d forgotten that he’d been through it once before, with Renee.

When he’d brought it up to you, you felt the need to apologize profusely. He did his best at convincing you that none of it was your fault; but you couldn’t help but feel that it was.

That was when you’d heard it for the first time. That was the first time it clicked in your head. _Depression_. You didn’t really understand it. You honestly always thought it was an excuse that people used to lay around all day. You thought about, but quickly went back to not caring. You quickly went back to spending your days crying in bed.

You fought through the last few days on set, you fought really hard. If it wasn’t for how encouraging everyone was, you didn’t know that you could’ve done it.

The day after filming ended, your mom flew up to see you. You were so grateful for her to be there. She got along wonderfully with Misha, and you really just needed your mom. You woke up one morning, rolling over in bed making sure Misha was gone first before reaching your arm under the bed to look for the bottle of vodka you’d left there. When you couldn’t find it you opened your eyes, and noticed your mom standing there.

“I think we need to talk, honey.” she said, sitting down on the side of bed.

You just groaned and rolled over. You’d listen to her talk, but you didn’t want to say anything. You started crying before she even started talking.

“You can’t drink like that honey, alcoholism runs on your father’s side of the family,” She scooted up so that she cold rub your back,

“I think we should get you some help, Y/N.”

“What?” you breathed out, rolling over to look up at her.

“There’s a place here, Misha and I talked about it this morning.”

“This morning?” you looked over at your clock. It was three pm. You could’ve swore it was morning.

“Y/N, we can go today.”

You thought about it for a minute before nodding. You didn’t really want to, but you didn’t know how much longer you could go on like this. You didn’t know how much longer you could handle the haunting thoughts that you didn’t want to be here anymore.

You heard the door to your apartment open, and few seconds later Misha walked in. He had went for a run.

“Well?” he asked.

Your mom looked at him and nodded.

“I’ll run out and get you two something to eat. Y/N, you shower and spend some time with Misha before we leave, okay?”

She leaned down to hug you and give you a kiss on the forehead before getting up and leaving. When she was gone you looked at Misha, who was still standing there.

“How long were you drinking?” he asked you, the look on his face one of disappointment.

You shrugged and rolled back over, you didn’t want to talk about it.

“Baby girl please talk to me-” his voice had finally cracked. He’d been so strong for you but he couldn’t stand seeing you like this anymore- “I love you so much, I’m just so damn worried about you.”

“I never asked you to worry about me.” you told him with your face buried in a pillow.

He didn’t say anything as he began to rub your back, just as he’d been doing for the last few weeks.

* * *

“Okay, Ms. Y/N, welcome to the Vancouver Rehabilitation Center.” The doctor greeted you as you sat in her office. You tried to smile at her, but you just couldn’t.

“Alright, so, you’ve already had your blood work done, and you took the urine test?”

You nodded.

She went on to ask you simple yes or no questions, your mom and Misha had given her a pretty good summary of the last month or so. You’d finally warmed up enough to her some to start talking a little.

“Can I just, go to bed for now? I’m really tired.” you asked her after a good hour of talking.

“In just a few minutes, I’m going to go grab your lab results, and after we go over them, you can go to bed and we’ll get to the rest in the morning.” she said as she got up and left the room.

A few minutes later she came back with a manilla folder, with what you assumed was everything you’d been tested for. You weren’t even sure what all it was.

“Okay,” she said as she continued to read, “so you said you’d been drinking quite a lot lately?”

“Yeah,” you started, “I just, I needed it.”

“It’s okay, we’ll work on all of it.-” She sat the folder down on the desk and took her glasses off- “but right now, I’m asking because this shows that your hCG levels are about 75,500.”

You squinted at her and crossed your arms, “What’s that mean?”

She looked at you, slightly surprised that you didn’t know.

“It means that you’re pregnant, Y/N.”


	19. Chapter 19

You stared at her for a moment, not quite sure how to process what she’d just said. You looked around, finally holding your arm up and pointed to it.

“I-I have the arm thing, it’s supposed to be good for three years!” you practically shouted.

She stood up and walked around her desk and sat in the chair next to yours. You looked down at your lap.

“I-I can’t right now, I just, my job, and Misha, and-” you looked up at her- “I have to call him.”

* * *

You’re eyes shot open as the earsplitting alarm clock went off. You groaned and flung your arm over to hit the snooze button. It didn’t shut off. You sat up, leaning over to look at where the damn shut off button was. _7 AM_. You rubbed your eyes and swung your feet off of the bed. You’d gotten maybe, three hours of sleep or so. You’d been up most of the night tossing and turning in the uncomfortable bed that they gave you.

All you had wanted last night was to go to bed. That’s it. But then you were hit with those two words that had been ringing in your ears since you’d first heard them. _You’re pregnant_.

You weren’t allowed to speak to anyone outside of the rehab facility for three days while you adjusted to the way things were there.

This meant that you couldn’t tell Misha yet. You had to get ready, the staff had made you an appointment with an Ob to find out how far along your were. You stood up from the bed and thought about how you ended up here. In a rehab facility. Were things really that bad?

* * *

You sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, you’d been in too many of those lately. You nervously filled out paperwork as you waited for a nurse to come out and call your name. You had one of the ladies from the facility with you, unfortunately you couldn’t go by yourself. This had to be the most nerve wracking thing you’d ever gone through.

When you finished filling out your paperwork and had handed it to the receptionist, you took note of the second glance she gave you when she saw your name on the packet of papers you’d filled out. You still weren’t feeling yourself, and it struck something in you.

“Yep, Y/N Y/L/N! From Supernatural! Misha Collins’ girlfriend-” you threw your hands up in the air- “Wanna take a picture? It’ll last longer.”

Her jaw dropped as the nurse came out and called your name. The woman from the facility put her hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring look. At least she wasn’t judging you.

As you waited in the plain undecorated exam room for the doctor to get there, the nurse handed you an ugly vomit green colored gown to change into. _Great_ , you thought, _this just makes things worse_.

When the doctor finally arrived, after what felt like an eternity, she greeted you with a big smile.

“Hi, Y/N. I’m Dr. Brown-” she held out her hand to shake yours, “congratulations, how are you feeling?”

“Annoyed,” you answered her bluntly, turning to look at your ‘escort’.

“I completely understand. Now, I’m going to be giving you an ultrasound today, which would probably be better if it was you and I?”

You nodded. You knew little about pregnancy, but you did know that your first ultrasound, you got a wand thing stuck up in you. Which you weren’t exactly thrilled about. But hey, you got to shake off your escort or whatever she was for a few minutes.

When the woman from the facility got up to leave, Dr. Brown shut the lights off.

“Okay, so I’ll need you to lie back and scoot down for me, all you’ll feel is some pressure.”

As you did what she said, your heart was pounding. Nothing had really clicked in your head yet. When you felt her push the wand up inside of you, you closed your eyes for a moment. Reacting to the pressure. You didn’t realize how tense you were, until you heard a fast thumping noise coming from the machine, you jumped as your eyes shot open.

She pointed at the screen, to a tiny flickering thing.

“That’s the heart beat right there, nice and strong.”

You felt yourself tearing up as she moved the wand around a little bit, and clicking buttons on the screen.

“Alright, Y/N, it looks like you’re about eight weeks along.”

Eight weeks. You counted back the weeks in your head. It was definitely Misha’s, you’d been in Vancouver at that point. So that was a relief. You heard a printer going as she took some final measurements. You watched the screen intently. There was a life inside of you. A tiny, raspberry sized life. That had a heartbeat.

This was the exact moment you felt any drop of sadness from the last few weeks fade away.

* * *

Back at the facility, you were sitting on your bed, staring at the pictures the doctor had given you. You felt so much love in your heart. You just couldn’t take your eyes off of them. You wanted so badly to call Misha. That’s all you wanted and your stomach was doing flips as you thought, _what if someone from the Doctor’s office says something?_

The day went by smoothly, much to your surprise. Therapy sessions were difficult, you had to talk about how life had been since you’d gotten a role on Supernatural. You had to talk about how you’d cheated on Andrew, then ended up with Misha, how you two had broken up, gotten back together, the small misunderstanding with Jared, the ring Misha had given you, and finally, your dad passing away. Apparently it was a lot to go through in just a couple of months.

After dinner, you’d found yourself back in the office that you were in last night. The doctor, Amy, she’d told you to call her, had really felt you had improved in just the day that you were in there Much thanks to your newly discovered pregnancy, and that if things stayed the same you could be out of there by the end of the week. Which you were thrilled about. The original plan had been three weeks. She also had told you that you would be allowed to have your phone. The first thing you wanted to do was call Misha. It’s all you’d been thinking about since you’d found out last night.

You set up your phone on the nightstand next to that awful alarm clock you had in your room, and called Misha on face time. You’d set the ultrasound pictures behind you so that he couldn’t see them.

“ _Surprise!_ I got my phone back early!” you said excitedly when he answered the call.

“Wow, look at you, what kind of drugs do they have ya on in there?” he joked, noticing your sudden happiness

“None yet actually-” you looked down, your heart pounding as you thought about what you were about to tell him- “I um-I found something out last night and because of it they had to wait.”

He looked at you with a confused look on his face. You were unsure if the confusion was due to what you’d just told him or due to the fact that you were suddenly happy again. At least no one from the Ob’s office had said anything to the media. Which you were grateful for.

“What is it baby girl?” He finally asked.

Your hand moved around to reach for the pictures, you brought them to your lap to where Misha couldn’t see them yet. You smiled and turned them around at the same time that you said, “We’re pregnant.”

You’d never seen so much emotion in Misha’s eyes as you had just now, on this face time call. His eyes instantly teared up as a smile tugged at his mouth, turning into a huge grin “Wha- h-how?” he started, but couldn’t finish as his head fell forward, you smiled as you noticed that he was wiping tears from his eyes.

“I’m gonna be a dad?” he finally was able to look up, you’d never seen the man so happy. Which is what caused your own eyes to begin watering.

You nodded in response as you started heavily sobbing. You didn’t even know why, you didn’t feel sad, you actually felt incredibly happy. You also wanted to get the hell out of this place.

“I-I j-just wanna, c-come home M-Mish” you choked out, feeling sad all of a sudden that you couldn’t be in his arms right now. Your emotions were all over the place. You remembered that, that was totally normal.

“Hey, hey, baby,” he started “I’ll come up there tomorrow, you should be able to leave if you want. They can’t make you stay if you’re not a risk to yourself.”

You nodded as he tried to calm you. But you were gone, you were going to be crying for awhile. For at least a hundred reasons too. You finally started to put things together in your head that may have hinted on you were pregnant in the past few weeks. You tried to shake yourself out of it, but the tears kept coming. You suddenly weren’t even sad anymore, you were just blubbering like an idiot over whatever.

You showed Misha the pictures the best you could on the phone, pointing at and showing him what the doctor had showed you earlier, where the heart was, and you talked about how far along you were. You’d finally calmed down.

“Get some sleep okay? You need to rest.” Misha told you, after you yawned long enough to put anyone to sleep.

“I’ll try-” you smiled at him- “I love you”

“I love you too, both of you.” a smile grew on your face as you ended the call. You fell back onto the bed and closed your eyes. Finally getting the sleep that you needed.

* * *

You were home by noon the next day. They really couldn’t keep you there. Which you were so incredibly happy about. You had agreed to weekly counseling seeing as you still had some stuff to work on, but at this point you just wanted to take a nap in your own bed.

Misha had the whole apartment cleaned top to bottom, he’d even gone grocery shopping. You were incredibly lucky to have him, and you knew it.

“So-” you began, plopping down on your own bed, Misha doing the same- “How much happy crying have you been doing?”

You both laid back and turned on your sides towards each other.

“I haven’t been-” he started, you cut him off with a smile as you pointed out his puffy eyes.

“You can’t fool me you know,”

“Pshh,” you shoved you playfully a bit- “so when do you go back to the doctor?” he asked

“In a month,”

“Were they worried about the drinking or anything?” you could tell that he was treading lightly.

“She said since I’m so early I should be fine, but that I should definitely…not drink anymore. Which I’m not worried about.” You moved your hand over to your lower abdomen. You could feel that you were bloated; and even though it wasn’t a huge deal, it was enough for you to know that you had a life growing inside of you.

Misha smiled at you, happy that you seemed so much better. He would never admit it to you, but the past few weeks had been some of the scariest weeks of his life. He loved you so much, with everything he had. Seeing you so depressed and so bent out of shape was terrifying. He’d been hiding his fear, for the sake of trying to help you. He hid how he broke down anytime he wasn’t around you. He had realized his deepest fear was losing you. How he could be so in love with someone he’d only known for such a short period of time was beyond him, but it was what it was.

The next few hours consisted of you and Misha lying there talking, you never ran out of things to talk about with him. You’d scoot closer and closer to him until your face was nuzzled into the crook of his neck, and his arms were wrapped around you tightly, as if to never let you go.

When you’d gotten relaxed enough, you turned around in his arms, scooting your back up to his chest. He rested his head right behind yours so that you could comfortably fall asleep.

“Y/N?” he asked just before you drifted off.

“Hm?”

_“Marry me.”_


	20. Chapter 20

You’re heart stopped. Did he just ask you to marry him while you were falling asleep? So what if he did? Still feeling sleep trying take you over, you gave the best answer that you could.

“Of course I’ll marry you, Misha.” You mumbled.

You could practically feel him smiling as his hold on you tightened, and he leaned up and placed as kiss on your neck. You snuggled into him even closer before falling asleep.

* * *

**FOUR WEEKS LATER**

“Are you sure you want to do this..now, like this?” you questioned Misha, waving your hands around the fluorescent lit room.

“We can do something bigger and better after we have our little boy.” he said, brushing the hair out of your face. You smiled at him, still in disbelief that this was how you would be getting married.

“Our little _girl._ ” you corrected him, rubbing your lower abdomen, you had a small bump there now.

Never in a million years did you think that you would be here in this courthouse in Los Angeles. It was absolutely crazy. You and Misha wanted to get married as soon as possible. But as mother nature would have it, you’d been too sick to do much of anything these past few weeks. Then when you hit twelve weeks along, you suddenly started to feel better. Which is how you found yourself here, waiting for your names to be called so that you and the love of your life could say I do in front of a judge.

You and Misha had yet to tell anyone that you were expecting. Both of your were over the moon about it, but you could only imagine the amount of attention you would both get from it; from fans, media, and your families. Not to mention the strange feeling you had that you would hear from Andrew once he found out. Misha would probably hear from Renee. You’d probably catch an earful from your mom.

After waiting for nearly an hour and a half someone came out and called your names and you made your way to the courtroom, you were nervous and excited all at once. But you were more than ready to spend the rest of your life with this man.

You walked out of the courthouse that afternoon as Y/N Collins, and you couldn’t have been happier.

* * *

Just as you had gotten back to your hotel room, your phone started ringing. You weren’t surprised to see that it was your mom, you knew that keeping the marriage a secret wouldn’t be possible.

“Hey mom” you said as you plopped down on the bed.

“Do you have something to tell me?” she didn’t sound happy with you.

You tried to play it off like you didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Like _what_?”

“I don’t know Mrs. Collins, you tell me.” That was definitely her mom voice.

“So it’s already all over the internet huh?”

“You know, Y/N, first, you never called me to tell me why you left rehab after only one day. Then you ignore my calls for a month, and now you’ve went and got married?” you sat in silence, trying to think of what to say. You suddenly felt like you were in trouble, though you didn’t know why, probably your hormones again.

“Mom-” you started,

“-I don’t know what you want me to think,” now she wasn’t making any sense. She did that when she was pissed.

“ _Mom-_ ”

“What?”

“I’m coming home for my birthday-” you took in a deep breath, and looked at Misha, who was silently listening to your conversation- “and I-I’m pregnant.”

Silence. _Not good not good not good._

“How far along?” she asked, trying her best to sound calm.

“Three months.” Misha was rubbing your lower back as you sat on the bed, trying to keep yourself calm as you got through this.

“Misha’s?”

“Yes.”

“O-okay, honey, Just…just, talk to me next time okay?” she said, you really needed this phone call to end.

“Yeah, I’ll call you later mom, okay? Love you.” and you hung up. You could feel panic setting in as you turned to Misha.

“Babe, it’s gonna be okay. Alright?” he told you. You nodded as you rested your head on his shoulder.

Your hand landed on his thigh, and started working its way up.

“Yeah, I just, I think I need a distraction.”

Misha smiled down at you and took your hand, moving it up further, to where you were headed anyway.

You looked up to him bringing his lips down to your own. You closed your eyes as you took him in. Your husband.

You pulled away from him and stood up, taking your shirt off before coming back to straddle him. His hands went directly for your waist as your lips went to work on his neck, sucking on the spot that drives him wild. His hands crept up your back and unclasped your bra, letting the straps fall down your arms.

Your own hands reached down behind him to pull his shirt up, your lips leaving his neck to get it over his head. The way you both looked at each other, it was different now. This was your husband. You were his wife. It was almost as if you were seeing each other for the first time all over again. You leaned into kiss him and that’s when it hit you. Every ounce of love you had for him was pouring itself into that one kiss.

Misha lifted you up and laid you down on your back, carefully coming down on top of you. He rolled his hips, pressing himself into you as you brought your hands up and ran them through his hair. His lips moved from your mouth, down to your jawline, slowly making his way down your neck, causing you to shiver with every kiss. As he worked his way down to your breasts you felt a hand slide down from your waist and into your pants. You arched your back slightly as he ran a finger through your folds. You inhaled sharply when Misha took one of your breasts into his mouth. The stimulation from him rubbing your clit and his tongue circling your nipple had you approaching your edge quickly. Just as you were about to go over he moved his mouth down, and moved his hands so that he could take your pants off.

Misha kissed his way down your stomach until his mouth reached your throbbing pussy. Your hands went back to his hair, tangling themselves in as he began kissing and licking your folds, your hips bucking up each time he moved around your clit. You felt a finger enter you as you had pressed yourself into his face even harder, begging him with your body to pay attention to where you needed it most. After teasing you for a few minutes he began flicking his tongue at your clit, sending you over the edge within seconds. He rode you through it before getting up and taking his pants off.

“ _Hurry up already_ ,” you pleaded with him as he was taking his time. He smiled at you, as he finally got undressed and came back down on top of you, bringing his hard cock right to your entrance.

“ _Why, are you ready for me or something_?” he moaned as he thrusted into you slowly. It had actually been a while since you were able to fully enjoy this, and now it felt like your first time with Misha all over again, except, not in an airplane bathroom. You wrapped your arms around him as he continued to thrust into you, your hips bucking up and meeting each thrust. You needed more. He needed more. Your nails started to dig into his back as he picked up his pace, encouraging him to pull out and flip you over. You squealed and smiled as he did so, as you liked when he handled you like this. He was quick to thrust back into you. You cried out as he fucked you into the bed.

“ _Fuck Misha_ ” You moaned as he slapped your ass and gripped onto your hair. It had been way too long since you were able to enjoy it like this. You moved your hand down and slid it underneath you so that you could rub your clit, quickly throwing yourself over the edge as Misha’s thrusts faltered, reaching his own release. Slamming into you hard as he came.

You rolled over, catching your breath as Misha had already fallen down beside you. He reached out for you and pulled you in close.

“You know-” he said, breathing heavily as he spoke- “I think it’s different now.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” you looked up at him, being pulled into a kiss as soon as your eyes met his.

“I love you,” you said against his lips. You would lay in this hotel room with him forever if you could.

“I love you too-” he kissed you again before pulling back slightly- “so do you want to stay here or go back to Vancouver until we go to your mom’s for your birthday?”

“Let’s stay here,” you suggested, “we can make it like a, mini honeymoon.”

Misha had an arm underneath you and pulled you closer, “I like that idea.”

You placed a hand on your small baby bump as you began to fall asleep. But the sound of your stomach growling had you shooting up in bed. That was one thing about not having any morning sickness anymore. Now you were hungry all the time.

“I’m gonna order some food-” you said as you stood up to get dressed, tossing Misha his boxers as you reached for the room service menu- “What?” you asked him, noticing the way that he was staring at you.

“Nothing, I just can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with you.” You felt yourself blush, he always said the right things, and you loved it. And lucky for you, you got to hear him say those things for the rest of your life.


	21. Chapter 21

It was the middle of May now, and you were in the car with Misha, driving to your mom’s house from the airport. Your birthday was tomorrow and you were excited to be turning twenty-five. You were a little nervous though, you were unsure if your mom had told the rest of your family about you being pregnant. You knew that they must’ve known about the marriage, it had been all over the place.

There was lots of speculation that you and Misha were expecting seeing as you had only been together for a few months when you decided to get hitched. But you told a different story. You’d taken to facebook live the night after you’d gotten married, saying how after your little bit of time in rehab, you two realized you couldn’t be without each other. Both of you going on to say that you knew it was forever the moment you met; and people bought it. You had planned on announcing the pregnancy once you and Misha had found out the sex of the baby, which was at your next appointment in two weeks.

It was a two hour drive from the airport to your mom’s house, and you had been having Misha stop for you to pee every twenty minutes. You’d have to run into the gas station or rest area in an oversized hoodie on to cover your now very obvious baby bump. When you’d get back to the car you’d rip your hoodie off, seeing as in mid-May it was quite hot in Missouri.

You were eighteen weeks now along now, almost halfway there; and you could feel him or her swimming around in there, which was the single greatest feeling in the world. The baby was just starting to kick hard enough for Misha to be able to feel, and you could practically see his heart explode when he felt it.

You were excited and sad at the same time to be coming home. The last time you were here, you were saying goodbye to your dad. As the car pulled into the driveway, you saw Jen sitting on the porch. She’d been waiting for you, and jumped up the second you got out of the car.

“Y/N!-” she squealed as she ran up to you. She leaned into hug you when she looked down at your bump. She raised her eyebrows as she looked back up at you- “you’re…pregnant?”

_Okay, so mom didn’t tell her_ , you thought.

“I am, you’re gonna be an auntie!” you tried to stay optimistic as her smile faded quickly.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me something like this?” You rolled your eyes, she was clearly aggravated with you.

“That’s what I’m doing now, Jen.” you said, trying to pull her in for a hug. But she just spun around walked into the house, slamming the door behind her.

You turned to Misha and gave him a look. This was going to be an interesting birthday.

You made your way to the door and let yourselves in, walking into the living room to see your mom and brother sitting there. Your mom smiled at the sight of your swollen belly, and Derek seemed to be pretty happy too. You gave them both a hug before sitting down in your spot on the couch, Misha sitting down next to you.

The four of you talked for awhile, about everything. First off you had wanted to know how everyone had been doing since your dad passed. You asked as many questions as you could to try and steer clear from talking about you. But it didn’t last as long as you would’ve like it to.

“So, what’s going on with you?” Derek asked.

You smiled awkwardly, “I um, I’m-we’re having a baby..” you got out.

“And?” he added.

“And we got married.” you held up your left hand to show the new ring Misha had bought you, that sat next to the promise ring he’d given you in Chicago.

“Honey, please don’t think we’re mad at you-” your mom started-

“Well Jen’s mad..” you interrupted her.

“She’s still a teenager. She’ll come around.”

You laid your head back on the couch. Your mom was right, Jen was still nineteen. She definitely acted more like a teenager than an adult. Though a lot of it had to do with your dad’s passing, she seemed to have taken it the hardest. She would eventually come around. You couldn’t imagine her seeing her niece or nephew for the first time and being angry.

“I know-” you sighed- “anyway, I need to lay down. I’m tired.” you said as you started to stand up, only for Misha to stand up before you so that he could help you up. Simple things like standing up were getting harder for you. You smiled at him as you made your way over to hug your mom and your brother, and making your way upstairs.

You always missed your old room. It reminded you so much of how things were when you were growing up, how good you had it. Your family, your friends. Your mom had placed a new little funko pop doll on your dresser. It was of your character. You smiled thinking about how cool it was for you to have your own one of these things.

“This oughta be interesting to explain one day.” you said motioning to all of your Supernatural decor. How in the world would you explain to your child that you were once on this super popular tv show? You walked over to your bed and laid down.

“You better lay down with me Mish.” you said, patting your hand on the spot next to you.

When he crawled under the covers with you, you scooted up next to him as close as you could, your hand shooting straight down his pants.

“Hey, you can’t make me think you wanna cuddle and then assault me.” he joked.

“It’s not assault if you enjoy it babe.” You smiled up at him as you disappeared under the blanket. When you were eye level with his belt buckle you undid it quickly, pulling out his half hard cock as fast as you could, pumping him a few times before taking him into your mouth.

It didn’t take long for him to finish hardening as you bobbed your head, his dick hitting the back of your throat each time. When you felt him get close you slowed down, causing his hands to find their way into your hair. As your lips closed around his shaft and you moved up to suck on the tip, Misha bucked his hips up involuntarily. Sucking the tip got him every time. When he bucked his hips up his cock hit the back of your throat again. You loved when you got him all hot and bothered like this. He tried to keep his groans quiet as you bobbed your head more, only more slowly this time.

You took your mouth off of him and kissed your way down his shaft to his balls then licking your way back up his length. You could feel him panting for more as you continued licking around his cock, teasing him. You came back up from underneath the covers to a flustered Misha looking at you, practically begging you with just the look in his eyes to let him finish. You crawled up on top of him to kiss him as you slid your shorts to the side and lowered yourself down onto him.

Misha threw his head back and closed his eyes as you began riding him. Even with a little more tummy now than you use to have, you could still do that hip swiveling thing he liked so much, and the sight of him breathing heavily and writhing underneath you had you tumbling over the edge just as he had gripped your hips and bucked up into you. Fucking you hard while lying on the bed. You fell forward as he fucked you through your orgasm and shortly after, his own. You pushed yourself onto him as much as you could when you felt him twitch inside you, making his orgasm shoot through his whole body.

You licked your lips as you watched him come down from his high before climbing off of him.

You laid down and pat him on the chest before rolling over and closing your eyes.

“Thanks.” you told him. You heard him let out a laugh as he rolled over and pulled you to his chest, falling asleep with you.

* * *

You woke up to your sister pounding on your door.

“Y/N! Misha! Party time!” she shouted from the hallway.

You sat up and rubbed your eyes. You had no idea how it was possible to be this tired all the time. It just wasn’t fair.

“Coming!” you shouted back as you shook Misha a few times to wake him up.

“I’m up.” he mumbled, not budging from his spot.

“If I have to be up, so do you. Besides, it’s-” you looked over at the clock- “It’s seven, and my family’s here.” You stretched and stood up, tossing Misha a clean shirt.

He sat up and watched you as you changed your clothes.

“Hey, quit being a perv.” you told him.

“If you could see yourself the way I see you, you’d stare too.” He stood up and changed his shirt.

You walked over to him and let him bring you into a hug. He brought his hand down and rubbed your bump.

“I can’t wait until we find out if it’s a he or she.” you said.

“Well I’m pretty sure it’s a he.” He smiled down at you and leaned in for a kiss.

“She.” you said against his lips.

“Y/N!” Jen was calling you from outside the door again. You walked over and opened it.

“Are you gonna stop being pissy?” you asked her.

She rolled her eyes at you before looking at Misha.

“I never said hi to you!” you took in a deep breath as she walked over and hugged him.

“Jennifer.” you scowled at her.

“What? He’s my brother now.” you took a deep breath as you let her finish and then pushed her out of your room.

You mouthed a _sorry_ at Misha, though he really didn’t mind. He thought the way your sister acted around him was funny.

You made your way downstairs and were greeted by your entire family. The next couple of hours were filled with you catching up, cake, ice cream, and everyone asking you questions. Your favorite question was about how would you film since you’re still going to be pregnant when the show starts back up.

You honestly had no idea what would happen. Maybe you’d only be filmed from the shoulders up, maybe someone would replace you until you had the baby, there was no telling.

You and your sister continually bickered all evening, even after everyone left. After your last cousin left and you shut the door behind them, you’d finally had enough.

“Jen, stop.”

“Stop what?” she started, “you’re the one that went and got pregnant.”

“I had birth control thank you Miss Snarky.” you snapped back.

“Yeah well, whatever.”

“Pffft, that’s the best you’ve got?” you asked her.

“Just drop it Y/N.”

“Drop it? You’re the one that’s been a bitch to me since I got here.”

Misha came up beside you and placed a hand on your lower back trying to calm you. He really tried helping you avoid any amount of stress.

“You’re the one that left the stupid country.” she sassed back at you.

“Oh and like you wouldn’t have?” you started back at her, but the doorbell rang just as your mother had walked into the room, probably to start yelling at you both. Since you were still standing in front of the door you spun back around and opened the door.

And there stood Andrew.

“Of course. _Of fucking course!_ ” you threw your hands up in the air and looked up at Misha, who was pissed.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Misha said, trying to stay calm, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist.

Andrew looked down at your belly, then back up at you.

“Y/N, we should talk. Misha too.” Andrew told you.

“The baby’s not yours.” you deadpanned.

“It’s important.” Andrew wasn’t going to give up.

Misha looked down at you, it was taking everything in his power to remain calm; but you could also tell that he was willing to let you talk to Andrew if you really felt the need to.

“Fine, but Misha stays. And we’re talking outside.” you told him.


	22. Chapter 22

You looked back to see your mom and sister watching you with curious faces. You weren’t sure where Derek was, he was around here somewhere, but he wouldn’t be happy with this situation anyway.  
  


“Be right back.” you told them as you and Misha stepped outside and made your way out to the end of the driveway. It was nearly ten at night, so the end of your driveway was mostly dark. There wasn’t many street lights out in the country.

“I was already pregnant when I slept with you Andrew.” you told him right off the bat. You didn’t want this conversation to last any longer than it had to.

Misha’s hand gripped onto your shirt where he had his arm around your waist. You put your hand over his to try and calm him as you leaned on the back of your rental car.

“That’s not what this is about.” Andrew told you, trying to avoid looking at Misha.

“Then what?” Misha spat out. You put your arm around his waist as well, you really wanted to try and avoid a repeat of the last time they met.

You watched Andrew with furrowed brows as he tried to gather his words.

“I-I um, I found out I have chlamydia. Just wanted to let you know since I had it when you and I..” he trailed off.

You processed what he’d said for a moment before trying to say something. You looked back and forth between him and Misha.

“H-how long have you had it?” you asked curiously.

He just shrugged. He was hiding something.

“Since before I moved to Canada?” you scoffed.

Andrew rolled his eyes and shuffled his feet before nodding his head, “Yeah.”

You looked at Misha as you thought about what he’d just told you. Basically, he’d just admitted to cheating on you. Before you cheated on him.

“That’s real fucking cute Andrew.” you snapped, you couldn’t even look at him.

You gripped tightly onto Misha’s shirt as you now felt the urge to start wailing on your ex.

“That’s why I was so…the way I was when I found out you cheated.” Andrew said, as if that made any sense.

“You need to go. Now.” Misha ordered him, sensing how angry you’d become.

Andrew’s entire demeanor changed when Misha spoke to him like that. Like something snapped.

“Y/N, this guy? Really?” he started, “You go and get pre-”

You cut him off by punching him in the face. Misha pulled you back as you rubbed your hand, you had never punched anyone before, you were pretty sure it hurt you more than it hurt him. Before you had the chance to look behind you, you felt Derek’s hands on your shoulders, pulling you back towards the house. You saw Misha step towards Andrew, his hands balled up into fists.

“You’re a slut anyway.” Andrew shouted at you.

“Why would you even say something like that?!” you called back at him.

“Ok, go. Now. Or you’ll be leaving here in an ambulance.” Misha said as he stepped even closer to Andrew, practically in his face now.

You shrugged out of Derek’s grip to watch, you weren’t going to try and step in, but when you saw Andrew draw back his fist you took off towards them.

“ _Stop!_ ” you screamed as Andrew’s fist landed on Misha’s face.

You heard Derek mumble something as he grabbed you and shoved you back on his way to break up what was happening. Before you could register what was going on, Misha and Andrew were in a full on fight, your brother trying to peel them off of each other. Your mom and sister rushed outside, Jen running forward to try and help against your mother’s wishes.

Your little sister had always been tougher than she looked, she had no issues with jumping in and throwing punches and kicking until Misha and Andrew finally broke it up. You knew that neither of them would lay a hand on her. No matter how pissed they were.

You hadn’t noticed the tears getting ready to spill over as Misha walked back towards you, his face bruised and bloody. Andrew peeled himself off of the ground, walked to his car and split. This was a mess, this was all a huge mess. Before he could get back to you, you took off into the house, heading straight to your room. You felt a breakdown coming on and you didn’t want to be out here when it hit.

You slammed your bedroom door behind you and sat down on your bed, trying to calm your breathing, but you couldn’t. You started sobbing uncontrollably, and as you were losing it, Misha walked in. The sight of him with his face covered in blood not helping.

“Y/N-” he started.

“-N-no-” you shook your head and pointed to the door- “J-just go.” You needed to be alone right now.

Misha looked at you, you could tell he was upset. He didn’t want to leave you alone. You could tell that he was afraid of losing you to depression again. He hadn’t seen you like this in weeks. He hoped he wouldn’t have to see you like this ever again.

With tears in his own eyes, he left your room and went into the bathroom across the hall.

Processing everything that had just happened was not coming along very well. Andrew showed up unannounced, he must’ve been home for the summer. Then he tells you that he has an STD, and that he cheated on you, and still called you a slut. Then the fight. It was all too much.

It hurt to know that Andrew cheated on you. You might have been married now, you might have a baby on the way, but that was not something you ever expected to hear. The two of you were together for almost six years. How could you not have noticed any of the signs that he wasn’t who he said he was? You suddenly didn’t feel bad about anything you’d done to Andrew anymore. He was worse.

With the pregnancy knocking all your hormones out of whack it felt as if the weight of the world was on your shoulders. You didn’t want to talk to or see anyone. For the first time since you’d found out you were pregnant, you wished you could just drown out your pain with alcohol. You knew better, but you still wished you could. Like you had done so many weeks before, tonight you cried yourself to sleep

* * *

You woke up very early the next morning, still feeling numb from the night before. You felt Misha’s arm around you and rolled over. He was awake already. He smiled at you and leaned in for a kiss. His lip was busted and he had a black eye. Your hand went straight for his face, outlining his features, and kissing him wherever it looked like it hurt.

“Happy birthday,” he told you as he pulled you in closely.

“Thanks, not that I care.” you mumbled into his chest. Accepting any and all snuggling he was offering.

“Well, my present for you is in Vancouver,” he started, you looked up at him, “I lined up some houses for us to go look at.”

“You’re gonna buy me a house?” you asked him, your voice crackly from the night before.

“Well you are my wife, and it is your birthday.”

You smiled up at him as you leaned in for another kiss. You really couldn’t believe it, you were married to this man, and he wanted to buy you a house.

“When do we go look?” you asked him.

“Monday, after the convention in Seattle.”

You sighed. You really loved conventions. But you hadn’t been going to them since you had been showing. You rolled over onto your back. You and Misha needed to get your things together to leave. It was Wednesday, and you were going to go home while Misha went to the convention. You looked at the clock, it wasn’t even six am yet.

“I guess when I get home I’m going to have to go get tested, same for you.” You didn’t want to bring it up, but this was something you needed to know. It had been months now, even though you didn’t think you had anything, you needed to be safe.

“Yeah, we’ll do that too.” he sighed and sat up, you doing the same.

* * *

You had taken a different flight than Misha, instead of flying home from Seattle. You knew there was a bigger chance of people seeing you if you went that way, and you still wanted to keep everything a secret.

When your flight finally landed in Vancouver, all you wanted to do was to get home and go to bed. You hated traveling these days, it took so much out of you. You often wondered if you’d ever have energy again.

You stopped at the coffee shop on the way out of the airport, you didn’t care if you weren’t supposed to have very much caffeine while you were pregnant. You needed it to make it home. As you made your way out to Misha’s car, you got a text. You set your coffee on top of the car and your bag on the ground and pulled out your phone.

Jensen: _Misha told us you’re expecting, we better see you at the next con!_

You smiled, you missed everyone from set. You’d have to make sure you all go together after this convention.

Y/N: _I will be! Miss you guys!_

You put your phone back into your pocket and loaded your bag up into the car, grabbed your coffee and sat down in the driver’s seat. You felt so much happier here in Canada. It seemed like every time you went home, something bad happened. As you started the car you took a big drink of your coffee. It was definitely working, and you were glad you didn’t live too far away from the airport.

Once you got everything set, you started heading home. There was a lot of traffic so you decided to get off the road you were on and take a back way. Whatever got you home the fastest.

Your phone began to ring and you glanced to the side to see who it was. It was Misha. You hit the answer call button on the steering wheel, excited to hear his voice.

“Hey baby,” you answered.

“Hey, you on your way home?”

“Finally yeah, there’s so much traffic-” you readjusted your rearview mirror- “I’m just gonna go to bed when I get home.”

“Are you okay after everything?” he asked you.

You sighed, you really didn’t know if you were okay or not. You had this image of Andrew cheating on you seared into your brain, which was more infuriating to you than anything.

“I’ll be fine, was your flight alright?” you shrugged your worries off as you were getting closer and closer to home.

“Mmhmm,” Misha had his horny voice going, making you blush.

“Okay you, I’m almost home, I love you.” you chuckled.

“I love you both.”

You blushed again as you opened your mouth to answer him before hanging up, but as you were turning, you looked to your left just in time to see a pickup truck colliding into your door.

* * *

The car was still running and you could hear people yelling as you faded in and out. You fought to open your eyes and look down at your stomach, which you were holding onto with bloodied hands. You faded out for a second before trying to look and see if Misha was still on the phone, but your vision was too blurry to see that far away. Your head was pounding as you fought to open your mouth and say something, only to lose consciousness.


	23. Chapter 23

“Y/N?” Misha yelled into the phone, “Y/N? Are you there? What happened?!”

Misha had heard the crash followed by you screaming and was now in full panic mode. He didn’t want to believe it, but when you didn’t answer him he knew it was bad.

“ _Dammit_!” he yelled as the phone disconnected. He paced around the hotel room he had just checked into for a moment before grabbing his bags and leaving the room. He tried calling and getting a flight but there were none until tomorrow. As he made his way down to the hotel lobby and out the front doors he looked around for a cab while trying to call you.

No answer. When he finally was able to flag a cab down he told the driver to bring him to the nearest car rental. He’d have to drive.

* * *

The next few hours were the longest hours of Misha’s life. Not long after he’d gotten the rental car, he received the official call from the hospital saying that you’d been in an accident. There wasn’t much more they could tell him at that point other than you were alive. Tears streamed down Misha’s face as he drove as fast as he could to get to you. To get to his baby.

After he’d finally gotten to the hospital, he ran inside and demanded the woman at the front desk to tell him where you were. He was shaking and the tears weren’t stopping as he waited for the woman to look you up in the system.

“And you are?” She asked him.

“Her husband.” he spat out.

“Okay, it looks like she’s in surgery right now…you’ll have to go up to the fourth floor to find out more, I’ll let them know you’re here.” She tried to offer him a reassuring smile but Misha just took off for the elevator.

He tried to stay calm on his way up. He had calmed down just enough to breathe. As he leaned against the wall in the elevator, looking at himself in the mirror, he tried not to think about it. About any of it. He knew that the fact you were in surgery probably meant the baby didn’t survive. But all they had told him on the phone was that you were alive. Misha felt himself shaking as the elevator came to a stop.

He made his way out and around to the desk on the fourth floor, noticing that the floor he was on was labor and delivery.

“I’m um, Y/N Collins’ husband?” he said to one of the nurses at the desk.

“Hi, Mr. Collins, if you’d like to take a seat over there I’ll go grab the doctor.” she said motioning the the small waiting area.

He nodded and went to sit down, setting his his elbows up on this legs and burying his face in his hands as more tears fell. He needed to call your mom. He needed to let everyone know why he left the convention, but he couldn’t. Not without knowing how you were first.

“Collins?” he heard the doctor and stood up quickly.

“Yeah, I’m here. Is Y/N okay? The b-baby?” he tried his hardest to keep it together.

“Y/N is fine, she has a mild concussion, a couple of fractures in her left arm, some cuts and bruises, but she’s fine.” he started, Misha felt a little better, but there was still something.

“And the baby?” he asked, he felt a lump in his throat as he tried keeping it together.

“Unfortunately, the impact from the crash caused the placenta to detach from the uterine wall, which caused some pretty severe bleeding. We had to deliver the baby via c-section.”

Misha’s head fell forward, he knew what that meant. You weren’t far enough along for the baby to survive. He remembered reading somewhere that a fetus wasn’t viable until twenty-four weeks, and you were just barely nineteen weeks along.

“Um, c-can I see her?” he asked.

The doctor nodded and pat Misha on the shoulder as he lead him to your room. Each step that he took became heavier and heavier. And then when the doctor stopped outside of your room, he rushed in. He couldn’t get to your side fast enough. You were lying there, awake, but very groggy. Misha thought he’d heard the doctor say something like that but he wasn’t listening, all that mattered was you.

“M-mish-” you tried to speak but your voice was gone. As he rushed to your side you started to break down. Misha immediately wrapped his arms around you as best as he could without hurting you.

“Shh, don’t talk, it’s gonna be o-okay.” he could hardly get his own words out as he held you while you cried.

You didn’t care that you were hurt. Besides a headache, you felt fine. The doctors had you stitched up and on pain meds. But that didn’t stop the pain from your baby not being inside of you anymore. The pain from that was damn near physical. If you had a voice right now you’d have screamed; and Misha. You could tell how upset Misha was, he wasn’t in his right mind either.

He got up on the bed with you the rest of the way and pulled you into him as close as he could.

“H-he w-was a b-boy,” you choked out, your voice very hoarse and tired.

You felt Misha’s grip on you tighten as his body shook against yours. He wanted a boy. You joked that you wanted a girl, but honestly, the way Misha would talk about having a boy warmed your heart. You felt Misha kiss the top of your head as you closed your eyes. You saw the baby, only for a minute, but you saw him. He was so tiny, but he was yours. And now he was gone.

After what seemed like hours, Misha finally spoke up.

“You want me to call your mom?” he sat up and looked down at you with red puffy eyes. You nodded at him. You didn’t want to do it. You didn’t want to say what’d happened. That would make it feel real.

Misha stepped out of the room for a moment to make the call, and you were left there alone. You laid your head back on the pillow and placed your hand on your belly, which had now been cut open and sewed shut. Your bump was gone and there was now nothing there but a small flab of skin where the life inside of you once was. You wanted to cry even more but had no more tears left to cry.

Ten minutes later, Misha was back in the room with you.

“Um, the doctor said you should be able to go home in a couple of days.” he told you, you just nodded at him.

“You’re mom and Jen are coming.”

You swallowed hard and turned your head to the side. You didn’t want to talk anymore.

* * *

Your mom and sister had gotten there in the early afternoon the next day. You didn’t know what it was, but your mom being there seemed to be what you needed. You broke down again when you saw her, and she just sat there with you. Though it was very obvious she was heart broken for you, she held it together just for you.

Misha took Jen to get something to eat as he hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, and you didn’t want your little sister to see you like this.

The doctor had come in and told you that you were okay to go home the next day. You had your arm in a cast and your concussion was very mild, nothing to worry about.

* * *

When you and Misha finally arrived home the next day, you went straight for your bed. You weren’t supposed to do much until your stomach was healed. Misha helped you get situated and then came around and sat on the bed next to you. Your mom had gotten a hotel room, she was supposed to come over later, she wanted you to get settled in at home beforehand.

“You alright?”  Misha asked you. You just shook your head. You didn’t know if you’d ever be okay again. There was a gaping hole in your heart and you weren’t sure if you’d ever come back from it.

You scooted down on the bed and curled into yourself as best as you could considering your cuts and bruises. Misha was quick to scoot over and wrap his arms around you.

The truth was, he didn’t think he things were going to be alright either. There weren’t words he could use to describe the way he felt; and seeing you so broken and torn down added onto his pain.

You wrapped your arms around him the best you could while both of you just laid there, holding each other. Trying to forget.


	24. Chapter 24

 

Things did get easier. For you anyway.

As your body healed and as time passed, you felt that you could let go. The pain was still there, you would always be sad over losing your son. There was no way to describe how it felt.

Your mom and sister had stayed in Vancouver with you for a few weeks to help you out and to keep you company.

Misha had left nearly two weeks ago, and you hadn’t heard from him since.

The night he left had been the hardest night for you both. You’d both been screaming and yelling at each other. Out of sadness, out of anger, and out of regret.

Nothing was right, you both blamed yourselves for what happened. You blamed yourself for not going to Seattle with Misha. He blamed himself for not going home with you. You both felt guilty about trying to keep the pregnancy a secret in the first place. Maybe if you’d have just come out and told everyone, you wouldn’t have had to avoid conventions.

Ultimately, it was the truck that hit you who was to blame. It had been some drunk old man on his way home from the bar. He didn’t stop at his stop light and plowed right into you as you were turning. He hadn’t even tried to apologize for hitting you, and from what you’d heard, he walked away from the crash without so much as a scrape to the knee.

You knew where Misha was, much thanks to Jensen. He’s actually been letting Misha stay with him in his apartment. It wasn’t that Misha didn’t want to be found, you both just, needed some time. Well, apparently Misha needed more time than you. As time passed, the angrier you became that he left.

You sat in your living room as you stared blankly at the tv, thinking about what Misha could be doing at this exact moment. He wouldn’t talk to you, and you just wanted to know how he was doing. You loved him more than anything in this world and you just wanted him to come home safe. You gave your sister the remote to flip through channels, and you were actually kind of relieved when she stopped on an old episode of Supernatural.

It was one of Misha’s first episodes. You always had such a huge crush on him, even when he’d just started on the show.

“Do you want me to change it?” Jen asked you.

“No, it’s okay.”

Your mom had just gotten back from the store and came and sat down in the living room with you both.

“Y/N, how are you feeling today?” she asked you.

“Fine.” you said flatly. Which wasn’t a lie. You were fine, considering.

“Do you want to try and go out for dinner?”

“No.” You didn’t want to leave your apartment. You actually hadn’t left besides to go to your doctor’s appointment since you’d been home.

The three of you sat in silence as you heard the lock on your front door unlock. You looked over to see what it was, and then in walked Misha. Your mom and sister looked at you and then at each other.

“Call if you need me.” your mom said to you as she and Jen left. She would have left even if you didn’t want her to. You and Misha needed to talk.

You shut the tv off and stood up, crossing your arms and avoiding eye contact with Misha.

“I hope you’re not expecting me to not be mad.” you told him.

“You have every right to be mad baby girl-” he started as he stepped towards you- “but I-I needed sometime to clear my head and-and move on.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to tear up.

“And what about me? I needed you.”

“I know, I’m so, so sorry.” he reached out to cup your face only for you to swat his hand away.

You sat back down on the couch and wiped away the few tears that had fallen.

“Why are you here Misha?”

He tossed a set of keys down on the coffee table in front of you, you noticed one was a car key. The other was a key you didn’t recognize.

“I bought a house.” he said.

“And a car.” you pointed out, sniffling as you tried to keep from crying.

“I did.”

“For what?”

“What do you mean for what?-” he sat down next to you- “for you, for us, for the kids were gonna have one day.”

You finally looked over and made eye contact with him, your eyes glassy.

“You still want all that?” your voice broke, you really didn’t think he wanted you anymore.

“Of course I still want that-” he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close and running his fingers through your hair like he’d done so many times before- “I married you to be with you for the rest of my life, not just because you were pregnant.”

You broke down when he said that. It meant everything to you. He meant everything to you. And one day, whether it be in a few months or a few years, you still wanted to mother his children. You couldn’t stay mad at him for leaving. You wanted to be mad, you wanted to yell at him and just cry. But you couldn’t. He was your everything and you’d already been without him for too long.

* * *

**EARLY JULY: ONE WEEK TIL FILMING STARTS**

“ _Fuck fuck fuck, Mishaa, don’t stoppp_ ” you tried your best to whisper as Misha was pounding into you in the bathroom stall, but you weren’t doing such a good job.

You two had been out with the cast, catching up and getting drinks, but neither of you could wait anymore. You had to keep your hands to yourself for too long after the baby, and now that you were in the clear, you two had been fucking almost everywhere you went.

Misha’s thick hard cock filled you all the way up with each thrust as you were pinned against the stall, your foot propped up on the toilet as Misha held up your other leg. His free hand coming up to cover your mouth.

“You’re being too fucking loud,” he whispered against your ear as his thrusts became faster and harder, turning you on even more. Your head fell back against the stall as your orgasm ripped through you. Your muffled screams pushing Misha to his edge. His thrusts faltered as his hot come spilled into you.

You two had finished just in time, you heard the door to the bathroom open and your eyes went wide.

“Mish you still in here? You been in here for awhile” you sighed when you heard Jensen’s voice. You’d rather it be him than some stranger.

“Uh yep, be right out.” he said, not realizing how out of breath he sounded.

“Y/N? You in here too?” You felt your face turning beet red when he said your name. You shoved misha’s hand from your mouth, which he hadn’t realized he was still doing,

“Uh..no?” you and Misha started laughing as the door to the bathroom closed. As you hopped down from Misha’s hold you pulled your panties up and your dress back down.

“Okay, no more sex when we’re in public.” you stated as you opened the stall door.

“You sure about that?” Misha questioned you as he grabbed onto your ass, spinning you back around with his other arm and crashing his lips into yours.

You melted into him for a moment before pulling away. “Okay, okay, let’s get back out there.”

You and Misha had been doing a lot better. You were both still hurting, but your lives were getting back on track. You were both all settled into your new house. Misha was the first to bring up trying for a baby. You were on board with it, you craved the feeling of another little life kicking and growing inside of you.

You were also excited to be getting back to filming. You’d been through so much and you were just ready to get back to something normal. Supernatural was your normal. Misha was your normal. And all of the wonderful people you’d met on set were your normal.

You weren’t sure if you’d ever truly move on from everything that’d happened, but you knew that you wouldn’t have to do it alone.

One year ago, you were getting ready to move to LA. You had plans of acting in a few commercials, and settling down with your high school sweetheart. Never ever in a million years did you think that you would be sitting here at this table, laughing and drinking with the cast of your favorite tv show. You never thought you’d get to meet them, let alone be married to one of them.

And never in a million years did you think that a small roll in a laundry detergent commercial would bring you here.


	25. Chapter 25

**Eight months later**

“Misha! Babe, come here!” you screamed from the bathroom as you sat on the edge of the tub.

“What’s wrong?!” He shouted as he rushed in, panicked.

You stood up and held up the pregnancy test you just took that displayed two very bright pink lines in the small window.

“Is-is that positive?” he asked you.

You brought your hand up to cover your mouth and nodded as tears welled up in your eyes. Eight months. You’d been trying for eight long months after you were in the clear from your doctor. The pain from the pregnancy loss made each negative pregnancy test that much more painful. But this, this positive was what you’d been waiting for.

Misha had the biggest and brightest grin on his face you’d seen in a long time as he rushed forward and brought you in for one of the tightest hugs, and one of the most affectionate kisses he’d ever given you.

* * *

**5 YEARS LATER**   
  


The smell of coffee and bacon woke you up from your deep sleep and you rolled over, lying there for a minute as your eyes adjusted to the sunlit bedroom. You climbed out of bed and made your way into the kitchen, watching in the doorway for a minute as Misha flipped pancakes onto a plate for your daughter Annie. You smiled as she giggled, begging her daddy to do it again.

It was an early Monday morning, and today was her first day of preschool. Your presence in the doorway would have went unnoticed, but you groaned as the little boy in your belly pushed his bottom up as far as he could into your rib cage. Your husband and daughter both looked up at you.

“You kay momma?” Annie asked you

You straightened your uncomfortable face as best you could and nodded- “I’m fine baby, your brother’s just runnin out of room.”

You went to the table and sat down next to your daughter and helped her cut up her pancakes as Misha served you a cup of coffee and a plate of bacon before coming around and giving you a kiss.

“Okay Annie, so grammy’s gonna pick you up after school alright?” you reminded her. You and Misha would be headed to the hospital this afternoon to be induced.

“Kay momma, then I’m gonna come see bubby?” she looked up at you with hopeful eyes, she was over the moon excited to be a big sister.

“Well.. _.ow!-_ ” you were cut off by the sharp pain of a contraction. You looked over at Misha, giving him a look that said it was time to go. You called your mom as Misha finished getting Annie ready for her first day.

The minute your mom arrived, you and Misha were out the door. You’d felt terrible about not being able to bring Annie to her first day of school, she’d been so excited about it. Not to mention how much worse the pregnancy hormones were making you feel.

Hours later, you laid sleepily in the hospital bed as you watched Misha hold his newborn son, Dylan. After a much needed nap you allowed your mother and Annie to come up to the hospital. Annie squealed with excitement when you let her hold her baby brother for the first time.

It was the perfect picture. Your daughter sitting in your lap while you helped her hold your newborn, and Misha there, sitting on the side of the hospital bed, smiling at the three of you. This may not have been the life you imagined when you and Misha started dating all those years ago, but it was definitely the life you wouldn’t trade for anything.


End file.
